Only Human
by classyJaegar
Summary: Eren's body is beginning to break down under the pressure of retaining his humanity. Soon the only thing keeping him on earth becomes muddled and he starts to fade in and out of control. With Mikasa and Armin joining the scouting troops to watch the perimeter, who's going to be the one to keep him on the ground? If Rivaille hadn't broken his hand, Eren could snap at any moment.
1. Chapter 1

Sweat beaded along Eren's jawline as his body trembled. His eyes, closed tight in terror, shot back and forth beneath their lids. The boy's teeth gritted tight as his free hand gripped the sheets until his knuckles turned white. His lips parted in a silent scream as the tremors overtook him. From outside only terrified onlookers could watch in horror as the boy suffered through a fight unknown. Even more unthinkable were the actions of the man at his side, face calm as he gripped Eren's hand just as tightly as he squeezed back.

"Corporal, please!" One of the men from outside the bars pleaded. "It isn't safe! We don't know its intent!"

"Its?" The Corporal's voice hissed.

"Wh-what?"

"Eren is a he, not an it," the man spat, glowering back at the cowardly soldiers. More like cannon fodder, Corporal of the Survey Corps and soul guardian of the only human-titan hybrid Eren Jaegar thought. "You make me sick. Take your bitch ass for a walk off a cliff, but do me a favor and leave the keys at the door, huh?"

"C-Corporal Rivaille!" The man stammered, face red with embarrassment. His partner had taken the hint and had long since scampered up the stone steps away from the holding cell. "I am speaking out in your favor of survival!"

"And I am telling you to go walk your whiny waste of space off a goddamn cliff. Leave. The keys. At the door," Rivaille narrowed his snake eyes to slits, teeth clenched tight as Eren's hand nearly crushed the bones in his own. The soldier's eyes turned to dinner plates as he watched his leading officer's hand turn red then a faint shade of purple, yet his face never wavering. "You are dismissed."

Without another word the soldier dashed up the steps and locked the thick oak door behind him, his wits left down in the dungeon from which he'd ran. Seeing that the annoyance would not be returning for the rest of the night Rivaille turned his attention back to the convulsing young man, body shaken with agony unseen. A grunt escaped the corporal's lips as the pain shot from his palm up his arm, Eren's grip only tightening mercilessly. "So you finally put up a fight worth the show," he gritted, sweat dripping down his forehead. "Fight, Jaegar."

Just then Eren's lips parted and his lungs swallowed every ounce of oxygen he could before releasing a blood-curdling scream through the stone prison. Rivaille jolted, Eren's grip breaking two bones in his hand before the sound echoed up the stairs and throughout the halls.

The sound instantly drew the attention of bystanders who hurried to unlock the door, failing all the while. In just minutes they'd resorted to pounding on the door and cursing the fearful guard who'd locked the priceless corporal in with a potentially murderous monstrosity. Calls of concern and pounding continued as Eren clenched his teeth tight in pain, eyes scrunched shut.

"Ri-riri-ri-," he stammered, grip loosening. "Riv-ri-riri-ri…"

"Jaegar!" Rivaille snapped, grabbing Eren's face and turning it to his.

For just a moment the boy's eyes peeled open barely at all to focus blearily on the face before him. It was family and strong, an expression he'd never forget. One that had beaten and broken him, as well as helped him stand tall against enemies unspeakable. "Eren Jaegar, tell me who you are!"

From the door more cries of panic ensued, the door being kicked at as if an animal were breaking in, though by Rivaille's calm nature one couldn't guess that anything outside his field of vision was happening. Only Eren mattered. He was not just a matter of national security and the foundation and headman for the salvation of mankind, but he was also something more. He was a dedicated soldier full of fire and fight as well as a subtly compassionate young man willing to die for his friends. He wasn't just an it. God, he'd never be condensed down to a dehumanized title such as that. He was indescribably amounts of more.

"JAEGAR!"

"H-h-h-huu… hum… Ri-rir…" He stammered, eyes rolling back again when Rivaille shook the man to semi-consciousness.

"I will not lose you to a goddamn cellar prison and a fever, Jaegar! Tell me who the fuck you are!"

Eren wobbled in Rivaille's grip, body still trembling slightly as his hand wrapped around the sweat-soaked sheets. His mouth opened loosely for a moment before clenching shut in fear. He could not speak. His throat was dry and tight as if tears were burning up in shame behind his eyes, but he was already crying to the point of no end. His body was weak and hot like his passion had finally lit a tangible flame in his core. Though, he knew the answer. At least, he knew what he wanted the answer to be.

"JAEGAR!"

"HUMAN!" Eren screamed, body pulsing a few times before becoming completely limp in Rivaille's loose grip. Seeing the boy's exhaustion he gently set him back down on the bed, hand letting go of his shirt collar. Though, it was harder than theory. Rivaille's broken hand was tightly bound to the flimsy fabric of Eren's collar and he could see what removing the hand would take.

Ears ringing with pain from the boy's scream the corporal peeled each finger off the cloth, teeth locked tight in pain as his digits fought any movement. Let us set and heal, they moaned. Though, healing in a fist-like shape wouldn't do a man of war much good besides pounding a podium. Even then, he wasn't the bureaucratic type.

"Fucking hell," the man hissed, finally pulling his hand free just in time for the soldiers to break in the door. Up to twenty different members of the Survey Corps flooded the small passage to the end of the cells to see the source of the screams.

"C-Corporal Rivaille," Jean gasped, seeing the blood dripping from the man's palm.

"Medic."

"What?"

"I said a goddamn medic you thickheaded brat! I need six fever reducers, a pan of ice water, and towels. Also, if it's not too much for your scrawny ass to remember, a fucking first aid kit and a bottle of whisky would be nice!" Rivaille snapped, Jean turning white as he spun around and ran back up the steps along with Sasha and Connie, both frightened enough to run from that order. "G—fuck," he hissed, shaking the hand out and instantly regretting the motion as agonizing, throbbing pain followed. But there was a time and a place for expressing pain and in front of nearly twenty subordinates was not that time or place.

"Rivaille, sir," Hanji murmured cautiously while the others stood back. "Is Eren alright?"

"I'm not sure. Aren't you supposed to be the monster expert, glasses?" He scowled, more and more of the soldiers scampering off.

"I've only discovered as much as I can with four subjects, all of them killed by the unknown attackers," Hanji laughed nervously. "Though, Sonny and Bean showed no signs of serious illness. The same goes for the other two."

"Your obsession with them disgusts me, glasses."

"What? And you think your obsession with beating Eren doesn't disgust a few here? We've all got our vices, Corporal," she smirked, lenses glinting in the torchlight as she watched the boy sleep. Eren's ragged breathing broke the stilling silence of the holding cells as Rivaille watched him. He refused to address the issue as pain preoccupied the conscious mind exceptionally well.

Within minutes Jean had returned with the alcohol and first aid kit, Connie and Sasha carrying the ice water basins, towels, and medicine. Gasping for breath, Jean spoke. "What is the booze for?"

Without a word Rivaille took it in his unwounded hand and surveyed the bottle. No one dared speak as he clenched the cork in his teeth and ripped it out, spitting the stop on the ground. Hanji, Jean, and Connie all watched in amazement as he tilted the bottle, bottoms-up, and chugged the entire thing. Sasha only gaped in amazement. She'd surely have to ask the corporal how he swallowed his food so quickly as it could be advantageous to her later.

"That's what it was for, you little snot. Now give me that kit and clean Eren up. If his fever spikes again then we can assume he'll be brain dead by dawn."

The man took the first aid kit and sat it down in his lap as he took a seat on a chair beside the boy's bed. Hanji scooted closer and watched as her commanding officer loosely stretched his fingers as much as he could and set the bones before wrapping them tightly. Her wide eyes turned to Jean and the others who were struggling to lift Eren off the bed to change the dripping sheets.

"Newbies, come on!" Hanji laughed, grabbing Eren under both arms and lobbing him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "Titans are very light in actuality. Taking into account Eren's infinitesimal weight, he should be easy to lift! And you're expected to carry an injured man to safety, tsk, tsk," she laughed loudly, spinning on one foot to show how effortlessly she could carry a teenage boy made of solid muscle.

_She still thinks of him as a titan_, Rivaille sighed in his head, looking down at his hand. _At least she's not afraid of him. _

When Rivaille looked up again the trainees had successfully changed the bed sheets by lining the mattress with clean towels. Hanji had laid Eren back on the bed while Connie and Sasha rung out icy towels and laid them across him. After they'd wrapped him in cold towels and cleaned his face of sweat they moved back for Rivaille's approval.

"Disgusting work," he spat, the three new recruits jolting. "But it's all we can do for now."

"That's it, kids! Lesson over, class dismissed," Hanji beamed, clapping her hands signaling their departure. No complaints were made as the three filed out, faces pallor from what they'd heard and saw. If Mikasa or Armin knew of how terrible Eren's state they might finally snap. Thankfully it was mutually agreed between the three that the boy's condition was privileged information and on a strictly need-to-know basis.

Hanji turned back to Rivaille who was beginning to feel the numbing effect of the alcohol throb through his veins. He took in a slow breath of relief through his nose before turning his sharp eyes to the girl who jumped at the look.

"Tell me, Hanji," the man spoke softly, head still spinning from Eren's scream. "How often did you see a titan out of prime?"

"Prime?"

"In top condition," the corporal restated, body beginning to sway.

"Hardly ever. Unless they were dying they've never shown signs of weakness or disease, let alone something as bad as fever pitched night terrors."

"You think that's all it is?"

The titan aficionado turned back to Eren who'd begun to sleep soundly on the bed, body still hotter than possible. Her thoughts spun around theories and the base-level knowledge of the creatures. So little intelligence had humanity collected in all these years that it was almost a joke, but you work with what you've got.

"Titans reach that heat when they're breaking down, but Eren's clearly intact," Hanji nodded, lenses casting off a flickering light. "When I picked him up I nearly dropped him because he was so hot."

"So you think he's dying?"

"No, no. Not dying, perhaps… They say when life was pretty stable outside the walls people would get sick from stresses outside their control. Too much pressure from educational institutions and thankless deeds coupled with a hard home life often got young humans this sick before. Perhaps… he's fighting his identity."

Rivaille looked at the girl as if it was the dumbest idea on the earth. How could Eren be fighting with a being that didn't have its own consciousness because he piloted the body? What a stupid idea, really Hanji. Why don't you quit while you're ahead.

"You've got to be kidding me… tell me again why I let you on my squad?"

Hanji squeaked, face going white as she threw up her hands in defense and shook them. "No, no, you misunderstand. All this time everyone's been asking him who he is. Outwardly he's clearly a human but he is obviously something not alike from the rest. Being such a violent outlier than damage the human psyche, wouldn't you think?"

"Didn't fuck me up," Rivaille muttered, sucking his teeth in boredom.

"Well you were crafted out of the hatred of Lucifer himself and forged in hellfire with the soul of a demon as the rumors say!" Hanji protested. "Eren is a teenage boy who's being threatened with death if he can't control something he knows barely a thing about!"

The corporal couldn't deny that. Not to mention that an entire race of imbeciles and bigots were picketing his execution. If he was ever brought up to the gallows there would probably be cake and wine just to celebrate their first killing of a new kind. How sickening this race was at its bare bones. He could only be thankful for people like Hanji and himself who saw something more than a monster with human skin. Though, Hanji's protective nature was more of a crude scientific sort of love.

Seeing that there wasn't much else to do Rivaille leaned back in his chair and sighed, consciously keeping his hand still as he could. Hanji saw beads of blood blossom from beneath the bandage, but she dared not say anything. The last time someone was naïve enough to point out one of his injuries the kid was sent to the infirmary with a cracked rib and several bruised bones. The scary part was that Rivaille was holding back then.

"Glasses."

Hanji jolted, looking to her commanding officer with sweat beading along her neck. "S-sir?"

"Don't let anyone stupid in here while I'm gone," Rivaille muttered.

"Gone, sir?"

Just as the girl bent to see the corporal's face he collapsed face first onto the floor. A scream escaped her as Rivaille's body became rigid on the floor, eyes shut tight. Hands clasped her over mouth and eyes wide, she watched as the man's body relaxed. Cautiously she bent at the knees and reached out one hand, the other still sealing her cries behind her lips. One gentle shake of the man's body and she knew. "You passed out?" She sighed, voice pitching in shock. "You shmuck. You can be so careless sometimes, oh, man," Hanji groaned, picking Rivaille up and throwing him over her shoulder much like she'd done with Eren.

Seeing no other option she began walking out of the cell, kicking the barred door shut behind her. Her feet stopped for a moment to watch Eren's body turn slightly and sleep more soundly. What did that soldier see in that kid? Beyond a weapon, there was something pacing in Rivaille's head. But again, she liked her straight nose and more than sufficient eyes. After all, you don't kick a tiny, height-complex stricken dog, do you?

The girl snickered to herself as she imagined Corporal Rivaille as a fuming Chihuahua, ears back in anger as he snapped at the ankles of the unsuspecting. Soon her soft chortles became lip-biting laughter as she emerged from the dungeon. People gaped as they saw Rivaille swaying on Hanji's back, her lips parted in an uncontrollable giggle as she strode down the hall. Trainees parted like the red sea as she turned down the main hall and up the stairs towards the man's private quarters.

Rivaille as a tiny dog. Oh, how the humor never ceased.

The world outside was cold and damp. It made him shiver in shock, curling into himself to try to keep warm. Though, inside it was a fire burning through his bones and demanding cries of pain. No matter where Eren reached nothing brought him relief, but that painful equilibrium was all he could bear. Any hotter or colder and he'd have a meltdown.

_I can't… c-can't breathe… _

"JAEGAR!"

_That's… oh, yeah… Rivaille… _

"I will not lose you to a goddamn cellar prison and a fever, Jaegar! Tell me who the fuck you are!"

_It's so hot… someone drown me… I can't keep this up… I can't breathe… _

"JAEGAR!"

_I have to answer… I'm… not them… I'm not… I… I want to be… I am… _

"HUMAN!"

Eren gasped, eyes widening as his body was wracked with a wave of shock. The boy's entirety was trembling beneath the damp towels before he regained his full consciousness. Eyes shooting around the room he saw that it was nearly empty except for one Hanji. She folded her arms over her chest and beamed brightly, face shining with pride.

"Morning, sleeping beauty!" She snickered, Eren blinking in confusion. "Don't remember anything?" He shook his head. "To be expected. You had quite the fever yesterday."

"Fever…?"

"We don't know the exact number, but you burned my hand." Hanji held up her hand that was loosely wrapped in a bandage.

Head lowering at the thought of hurting more people, Eren began to question his humanity. How many had he heart unconscious? If he couldn't even be safe when he was sleeping then how could he guarantee that he could keep them safe when he was awake? "Oi, oi. Don't sulk," she shooed the bad energy from the air. "Though, I'd check in with Rivaille. He's not talked to anyone since you calmed down."

Without a word Hanji unlocked the cell door and took a step inside, smiling all the while. She strode over to Eren's bed and helped peel the lukewarm towels off his body and unlocked his chain. "Legally I still have to keep you shackled until you're in his custody, but I think we can let this fly."

The two began scaling the steps into the cool light of the recently set sun, the hall devoid of any life beyond their own quiet footsteps. Knowing the trauma he must have endured Hanji kept the conversation to a minimal unlike their first meeting. Eren's eyes kept to the stone floor as they made their way to the long hallway leading to the spiraling stairs.

For such a serious headquarters the details were quite intricate. Then again, Survey Corps HQ wasn't always a fortress of solidity. Once it held aristocratic parties and regal families in the palace home, but they'd long since died away. Now stiff, military-grade boots strode along the floors with cloaks fluttering behind them. Though the twin wings showed a symbol of great skill and bravery, some saw it as the mark of the fool or even worse, a target.

Looking up for the first time in what seemed like an eternity Eren saw that he was facing the base of the staircase, Hanji already hallway around the spiral. "What are you waiting for, Jaegar?" She grinned encouragingly, offering her hand. Not wanting to seem even weaker Eren began walking up the stairs beside her, body still aching from what the girl had said was a fever.

By the time they'd plateaued to the top of the stairs Eren's body was wobbling on the heels of his feet. Hanji asked if he was alright, but he could only give a ragged breath-laden nod. Seeing there was no helping the stubborn ox that Eren was she sighed and turned to open the door.

"Glasses! Were you raised without the concept of knocking?" Rivaille hissed from his desk, head turning and glowering at the two menacingly from over his shoulder. "Well, look who's awake," he raised his eyebrows, turning his head back on his work as they entered.

"Woke up just a bit ago," the girl grinned proudly.

"Leave," Rivaille muttered.

"Huh? But I brought you your prized titan!"

"I meant you, glasses," he hissed.

"What about me?"

"Get lost!"

Eren stood back and watched the old married couple bicker before a hard stare forced Hanji back out of the door, watching him precariously. She mouthed something to the boy, but he didn't catch it on the account of his lack of care.

The moment the door sealed him in Rivaille's private room Eren became hyperaware of everything. The scribbling noises of the corporal's pen on the long sheet of paper, the way the window was open, letting in a soft breeze that made the flames of the candles dance in their glass cases, and the way that he was just wobbling side to side like an unsteady building in a storm.

When he thought there would be no end to the writing Rivaille put his pen down and stood up, the chair groaning on the wooden floor. Eren's eyes shot up to see the shorter man striding towards him with importance and his hand stiff at his side. It was wrapped in a bloody bandage, but he dared not say anything.

"Fever down?" The corporal asked, placing his uninjured hand on Eren's forehead. "Substantially." Unfortunately curiosity got the best of him.

"Y-your hand, sir."

"What about it?" The man spat, eyes narrowing threateningly.

The boy could feel his throat tighten in fear of the surprisingly intimidating man. Corporal Rivaille was a critical, cynical man of taste and habit. The first encounter outside of childish admiration that Eren had experience with the bitter man had been a boot to the face, knocking a molar clear across the room. Now it was as familiar as working partners that was probably only for the bettering of human survival rates.

It seemed that only Mikasa and Armin truly cared for him as a human being, but Eren could see it in their eyes. Each time he transformed their bodies went rigid with doubt. Mikasa held her blades at the ready, memory darting back to when he'd gone out of control. Surely her pin-sharp instincts had adjusted accordingly to the sight of him. As for Armin he was probably adjusting slowly, but his face showed otherwise. Jean only spat bitter words of constant doubt laced with grief. And as for anyone else Eren wasn't sure because their motives for staying with the Survey Corps were probably fear-driven. God knows that Sasha and Petra didn't stay because they wanted glory. Hell, why did they stay?

Before Eren fever-stricken head raced around useless thoughts any longer Rivaille snapped his fingers in the boy's face. Grey-blue eyes blinking awake from his daze, the boy focused on the curious eyed man watching him from his height below.

"You really don't remember anything, do you, brat?"

"Just… coming out of the titan body and… Mikasa and Armin screaming," Eren cringed, hand coming to his left eye where a throbbing headache beat at his memory. His teeth gritted as the slow, digging pain faded slightly as he put the recollection to rest.

"The collapse from the proxy was sudden," the corporal nodded, turning back and dragging the chair noisily across the floor with his good hand. "Hanji thought that maybe you'd done it, but when we came close we saw that you weren't exactly in control."

The man dropped the chair at the side of the bed. Still tired from drinking through the pain, humanity's greatest soldier slunk into the chair and motioned for Eren to sit on the neatly made bed. It was something. Despite a near crisis situation Rivaille still had time to fold the corners of the comforter beneath the mattress and press the sheets crisp. Some perfectionist he was. Even his kills were clean and precise.

"What do you mean?" Eren asked, nervously sitting on the bed.

"The titan's shell broke down faster than we expected and you were still inside. The screaming you remember was probably your friend's attempts to cut you out of the body before you burned up inside," the man recalled, words concise. "When the girl had ripped back the skin of the neck she saw that you were completely unconscious and much of the muscular tissue had attached to your body."

Eren shuddered, eyes wide with horror as he imagined the scene. Once before, Armin had stabbed him through the left shoulder to get him conscious in the body of the monster, but he'd never been completely fused before, at least not so completely that his body was hard to differentiate from proxy tissues. He was almost afraid to sink his canines into the base of his thumb. What if next time his body did not survive the molecular transformation and he became a solid titan, void of all humanity and conscious actions.

"Luckily we were able to get you out in time, but we had trouble getting you back to the cell," the man continued, eyes closed as he slowly unraveled the bandages around his wounded hand. "Since you were so closely assimilated with the titan flesh your body was a staggering temperature. An hour had passed before your body was nearly approachable. Hanji and Armin ran buckets of water from the well back to you to reduce your temperature and even then your body was surely breaking down."

He was so hot that they had to dump buckets of water on him? They say that when your head gets too hot you can't think straight and all thoughts go to insanity. What if the other titans, humans with that ability of morphing, had succumbed to the heat and lost themselves in a hunger for something whole. Others, innocent people, could have drowned in base instincts of animosity and insatiable hunger for survival because of a brain fever. Though, they could never truly know because trying to get that close to one of the creatures could easily result in your death.

"Once you'd cooled off Hanji threw you over her shoulder and sprinted towards your room. While she moved you she called out orders for supplies. I have to admit it to her, the girl's morale never falters in any situation."

"How… I'm not dead, but…" Eren stammered, hands shaking in his lap.

"It probably has something to do with your resilience thanks to body with titan blood. If you didn't have that regenerating property you'd be dead by the time your friends pulled you out," the corporal nodded, staring at the purple, black, and yellow bruising on his hand. The kid had really done a number on him, hadn't he?

Silence stretched between them as Rivaille grabbed a glass bottle of what appeared to be brandy off the nightstand and pulled the stopper off with his teeth. For a mannerly military leader he sure used his mouth a lot. In a moment of shock, shoving everything aside, Eren watched as the man gulped the entire bottle down and dropped it back on the little wooden table with a loud bang.

"S-s-sir?"

"What?" He asked, face disinterested as he turned back to the confused young soldier.

"Why… your hand, I mean… what?"

"Huh? Don't look so surprised you little shit. You did this number on me!" Rivaille barked, rubbing his mouth with the back of his good hand.

"Me?!"

"Well who fucking else? I didn't lose an arm wrestle with a colossal you moron!" The corporal snapped sharply. Though, Eren had to admit that it wasn't something he'd put past the small, angry man, arm wrestling the greatest threat to humanity. "When Hanji put you on the bed your body immediately began convulsing. Mikasa was snapping at asking me what was going on and nearly losing composure when I ordered she leave. That was one hell of a fight."

"Wait, wait… convulsions," Eren nodded, urging the man forward on the topic.

"You reached a degree of heat that bystanders could only gape at and soon people gave up. Two guards watched your cell while I oversaw your progression. Soon the tremors escalated to balling the sheets in your fists and gritting teeth. Then, towards the end, your fitful gasping became screaming. But I fixed it."

The deadpan of the situation almost threw Eren off the bed. How could the corporal just be so proudly blunt? 'But I fixed it,' as if there was just a magic spell that put the boy into a deep sleep. Though, Rivaille didn't seem up to explaining the trick as his head was craned back, eyes closed to null the pain wracking through his arm. Eren was sure that the corporal's injury had everything to do with how his fever-driven madness had ceased and he was determined to find out, but not that night.

The boy wobbled in place again, head becoming foggy as he pressed his hands against his knees to steady himself. If he passed out there he would surely be labeled someone to frail to handle the pressure of humanity's success. How could he hold up the name of a species when he could barely keep his head up? Though he wished to know the answer and would have gladly spent hours thinking up ways to cut every titan—even the colossal titans—down to size, he was losing his grip on consciousness fast.

"Just sleep, Jaegar," Rivaille whispered, eyes still closed. "Don't fight a recovery when you're weak enough as it is."

Pride taking a sucker punch, Eren dug his nails into his knees. He would not succumb to the corporal's spiteful words. He had to keep awake to prove him wrong. He had to make someone believe he was better than a weapon or a monster. He had to… he had to… he had to aim his head for that pillow or he was going to collapse onto the floor.

Too late.

Rivaille's eyes popped open as the clattering of Eren's body crumpling to the floor in a heap of limbs broke the meditative silence. A frustrated sigh escaped the older man as he stood up from the chair and jerkily straightened Jaegar out on the floor. After a painful effort at making him a bit more comfortable Rivaille pulled the comforter off the bed and over the body's frame. "I told you to sleep. That meant on the bed, you little shit," he spat, walking over the body and climbing into bed. It wasn't so bad, sleeping with the sheets and the thinner blanket on top, but it wasn't the same as the plushness of a soft duvet. Whatever. "Enjoy that, brat."

Head swimming with the beast Rivaille took no time in falling asleep on the bed, hand rigid and held close to his chest so that he would knock it on anything in the middle of the night. If that happened he didn't have any confidence in holding up his stoic façade around the subordinates. Hell, if that happened all fucks had gone out the window and the sailor's mouth would come out. After all, who can without a good, solid, "FUCK," when you're angry and in pain?

Those thoughts were put to rest as both of the young men fell victim to the sandman, breathing filling the quiet room. Maybe tomorrow wouldn't be so disastrous. After all, each dawn is a new day and another chance. Though, one can only hope that Eren has more dawns in his future.


	2. Chapter 2

Funny… the bed wasn't as soft as usual. It was hard and cold, but the blanket above far warmer than the tattered scrap material they'd thrown over Eren when he slept in the holding cell. It was plush and resembled a cocoon of radiating body heat. He could have stayed there forever.

"Oi! Get the fuck up!"

Or not.

Rivaille tore the comforter off of Eren and kicked at his stomach just hard enough to make his eyes pop open in shock. The boy groaned and held his hand over his abdomen where a bruise was sure to form by dusk. Seeing no way of recovering the slumber-induced peace he climbed to his feet and made sure not to stand to close behind the corporal. Once he'd kicked Eren in the knees because he was making his height obvious by standing so proximal to him. Jaegar didn't make that mistake twice.

"Mornin'," he yawned, the corporal glowering at his subordinate bitterly.

"Shut up and get down to the dining hall," he grumbled, walking over to a chest of drawers. Eren couldn't help but watch as the man struggled with the two-handed job of pulling the middle drawer open. He padded over softly and pulled it open and smiled down at Rivaille. Though, the favor wasn't received nearly as well as the boy thought it would be. The corporal scowled at him with the most grimacing look Eren had ever seen. "I hate you with the passion of a thousand burning suns."

"B-but your hand…"

"Get out!"

"You can't get dressed with a gimpy hand," Eren protested, the corporal only shouting louder.

"I said leave!"

"But if you're trying to get dressed, wouldn't you rather want help?"

"I can have you executed today, Jaegar!"

"Why are you being so unreasonable, I'm just trying to help you," the boy snapped back.

The heat of the moment was making him lose his head and he would shortly regret it. Rivaille drew his leg back and rammed it straight between Eren's legs. The boy's face went rigid with pain as his eyes bulged in shock. Like a stone crumbling he feel to his knees and then over onto the floor. He coughed a few times before he managed to push himself back to his knees. "I… I am… just trying… t-to help you get dressed…" He hacked, shoulders shaking as he made his way upright.

"And I am helping you learn the lesson of _listening to orders_," the man snarled, lip curled up as he hissed the words through his clenched teeth. Oh, Eren. If stupidity was gold you'd be King Midas.

"Do you expect to come to breakfast without a shirt?"

Rivaille's face screwed up in a look of utter disbelief. There was no way that this kid was _that_ stupid. If he was in complete seriousness right now then Eren Jaegar, suggested savior to humanity's survival, rivaled the titans themselves in ignorance and common sense. Don't poke the fucking bear, Eren. It's basic survival instinct. Too bad he had a habit of jumping in front of the action as if death were welcomed.

"So eager to be a dog, are you?"

"W-what?"

"Happy to serve, mm?"

"Wait, no…"

"Get the shirt," Rivaille cocked a brow, motioning with his good hand to the opened drawer.

Eren reached inside and pulled out a pressed white shirt, offering it to Rivaille. The man simply turned his nose up at it and scoffed. Jaegar saw nothing wrong with the shirt. In fact, it was a bit too clean. Not even a stray piece of lint or dust. Hell, not so much as a wrinkle was on that shit! "I'm handicapped, you imbecile. Dress me." Suddenly the boy was regretting his kindness dearly.

At first he didn't seem to know where to begin. As if it wasn't awkward enough having to dress your superior, where does one exactly start? The buttons, he supposed, hands clumsily unfastening the shirt. Rivaille had to hold back a proud smirk as he watched Eren with an icy stare. _Good, feel uncomfortable. Maybe this'll teach you a lesson_, he thought as Eren pulled the shirt off of his stiff shoulders from behind. "Careful!" Eren jolted as he slid the sleeve off of the injured hand, heart racing.

Once the shirt was off it was far less stressful getting the new one on. Though, buttoning the shirt back up still offered no reprieve to Eren's pride. Next came a change of pants. This task was particularly will-breaking. First the belt, then the button… the zipper next, and then, just pull…

"Gooood Morning Corporal sir! Breakfast is fantastic and may I just say that it looks like a good day to-!"

Hanji's voice boomed through the quarters. Somewhere in the walls the face of a clock cracked and time stopped moving. The brunette's throat closed up as she looked at the scene, mouth still hanging open in midsentence. Instantly she lowered her raised foot and closed her mouth, face still frozen as she turned sharply on her heel and ran back down the stairs.

Down the hall and through the courtyard she ran screaming the words, "I'M TRAUMATIZED!" As for Eren's pride, if there were any left, it had blown away like sand in the wind as he slumped over on his hands, body weak with defeat. People began turning their eyes towards Rivaille's tower in curiosity, but the man only stood by his chest of drawers and looked down at a sniveling Eren.

"Well, my pants aren't going to change themselves."

"Augh!"

By the time Eren had made it down the stairs and into the dining hall he was a walking ghost, body floating on the fearful memory of Hanji's face and scream. He knew the word would spread fast, but he prayed with every genetically flexible fiber of his being that it didn't. God forbid Jean get a whiff of the news. He'd never heard the end of it and his obnoxious laughter would echo through the castle. God, what a terrible thought; that laugh in every crevice of the castle.

"Morning… Eren," Armin greeted his friend cautiously. Mikasa only sat directly across from Rivaille and stared daggers at the bitter man. Her thoughts probably rambled on about the many ways to kill a man and blame it on the titans, but thankfully they were quiet, unspoken thoughts.

"Is it?" Jaegar grumbled as he began picking at his breakfast.

"Are you feeling better?" Mikasa asked, eyes never parting with Rivaille's.

"Much, actually," he nodded.

Closing his eyes, Eren recalled the burning sensation that had shot through his body followed by a scream of relief. He couldn't even imagine what was racing through Mikasa's survival-run head and Armin's panicky body as they tried tearing him from the body. Even less could he create the picture the stern corporal watching over him as he fought a monster inside of him. Though, there wasn't much time to think about that because Rivaille was finished with his food.

"Cavalry," the man said curtly, Eren's face clouded by regret.

"Caval-…"

Armin blinked slowly as his friend rose from the table and knelt down beside the bench of the table. Jean nearly spit his oatmeal in laughter as he watched the corporal mount Eren like a horse and smacked him over the head to have him stand. The entire table—no—the entire room watched as the savior of humanity walked out of the room with the corporal riding piggy back. Not a word was spoken, not a breath was taken, and everyone heard the sound of Eren's life ticking close to its end. Death was surely on the horizon for that boy.

Through the halls of the great castle HQ was Eren forced to carry Corporal Rivaille around to various places for all sorts of business which was mostly dicking around and showing the poor kid off as punishment. By the time the two had reached Hanji she was back to her normal self, but she couldn't bring herself to look Eren in the eye.

"C-corporal, sir," she stammered, face sweating nervously.

"Have your trainees managed to capture any titans?"

"None sir. Seems that they've gotten the message after the reclaiming of Trost," she nodded firmly, relaxing just a bit as Eren was motioned to come closer to her. Poor Eren, Hanji thought. She could see his defeated expression and dejected sighs as a sign of complete resignation from reality. He was probably just walking around like a zombie with tears of conquest in his eyes.

"That's fine. We've got our own little lab rat right here," the corporal sneered, patting Eren's head.

_Now you're just adding insult to injury, Rivaille…_ Hanji sighed to herself, smiling nonetheless. If no one else had it in them to keep an eye on the brighter side then they'd all have used the blades of the 3-D Maneuver Gear on themselves by now. Hell, or at least jump off the cliffs around the castle.

"Well, nothing to report for now. Though there have been some suspicious activity around the perimeter," she nodded, eyes lingering to the window were trees rustled in the distance. "Should we act on it?"

Rivaille looked out the hatched window and narrowed his eyes at the image of the trees. Sure enough they were swaying in a breeze that wasn't there. With one affirming not, Hanji grabbed her cloak off her desk and strode past the man and his steed, briskly heading for the main gate.

Outside the woman's voice echoed off the stone walls drawing the attention of everyone within a square mile; all the new recruits gathered in the courtyard and froze, arms saluting Hanji as she shouted orders. They were to wrap the castle as a perimeter guard while a group of elites approached the suspicious activity out by the forest. If Eren had seen the display he would have probably fought to go with them, but he was currently focused on sulking over the loss of his pride. Pretty soon it'd blur into mourning.

"Oi, Jaeger," Rivaille snapped, flicking the boy over the head. "Put me down."

"But you seem to have lost the use of your legs with the breaking of your hand. I must continue this baneful task until you regain your senses," Eren muttered flatly, eyes casting a dreadful sidelong glance to the shadows cast on the wall by their combined figure.

Seeing the snark in his words Rivaille swatted Eren over the head and hopped down, kicking the boy in the small of his back. Taken by surprise Eren stumbled forward and collapsed on his face. Grace was just not in this kid's physical vocabulary, was it?

"Get off your face, we have work to do," the corporal growled. By the time Eren had made a feasibly attempt at getting to his knees the man had already left the room. What did he do?

By stuff Lance Corporal Rivaille meant cleaning. After gathering unnecessarily large amounts of rags and buckets of water, dust pans, brooms, and soap. At first Eren feared that he would scrubbing the entire castle with a toothbrush when the stern corporal pulled the door to his dungeon wide and glowered at him.

"Ladies first," he grimaced as Eren's face burning red in anger.

"Then I must insist you go ahead, Corporal."

"Excuse you?"

When they finally got down to the locked cell where Eren's lungs had burned with a scream of horror the boy was wearing a bruise on his cheek. If only he'd been taught to hold his tongue then maybe the inside of his mouth wouldn't be swollen and bleeding from his teeth mashing against his muscles when Rivaille's fist sunk into his face. Patronizing a man of short stature who donned a fluffy collar ascot is either something that will end very well or with your nuts inverted two feet into your body. Unfortunately for Jaeger it was the latter.

In pain he knelt down on the stone floor and dipped one of the rags into the warm soapy water. In the silence of Rivaille's scrutiny Eren began sopping up grime. The man grunted as he took a seat in the old wooden chair and watched his charge suffer over the impenetrable dinge that had seeped into the pores of the stone. As the teenager toiled over the dirt the corporal began feeling his age seep through the fractures in his hand.

Eyes lingering on Eren's shoulders as he worked, Rivaille tried flexing his hand. Instantly a violent stab of pain shot up his arm. The echo of its scream throbbed in his palm as blood rose to the scabbed surface and dripped down to the floor. Slowly the man's pin-prick eyes lowered to his hand to see the damage. Sure enough his skin was broken and rich crimson ribbons spilled over the edge of his hand. Not since the initial recruiting to the Survey Corps had he retained such an injury. Fighting back a scream he let his hand hang between his legs as he sat, eyes closing so that he could attempt to meditate the pain away. He thought back to his first week on the Corps, the bitter taste of blood rushing to his mouth in a memory. He shouldn't have tried to revive that kid, but what else do you do when someone you're dear to is dying, gasping bloody breaths for life. Rivaille looked up at Eren who was reaching under the bed to reach dirt spots. Would he have truly stuck to the life of a soldier had his mother not died?

Oh, the corporal had read Jaeger's file like a book he couldn't put down. Over and over he'd flip through the pages that breakfast, lunch, dinner, and after-meal coffee. There was something about his piercing faded green-blue eyes and tenacity that resonated from his picture. When he got past the boy's initial stats he saw the grueling essay. Each person who signs up to be in the military is required to submit a questionnaire and short survey along with a personal essay of why they felt drawn to such a grueling, traumatic life.

_I do not want to serve the king or the borders. I have no desire to do either. What I want to do is kill titans. I will not capture them for experiments as mentioned in rumors. I refuse to let them live. If in my power I can strike one down, I will charge one hundred. They've taken all that I have and what remains is anger… drive. I will destroy them. Their existence will be ended by my hand, and my hand alone. _

Seeing the boy's struggle with dirt on a wall now made his written statement seem humorous. Though, he'd written those words before he knew his own strength and skills. Being somehow titan as well, he could surely do it with the help of a fine tuned machine of perfected survey soldiers. That being said, Mikasa and Rivaille were up for the first spots at his flanks if they ever did wage all-out war against the monsters without warning. Though, again, with Eren spitting swears at a wall stain in his current state anyone would be apprehensive of his true ability.

A curt smile came over Rivaille's face as he recalled his own days as a trainee. It was much different from Jaeger's rage-fueled purposes and far less expressive, but it was memorable nonetheless. Back then being in the Survey Corps was a brave, dreamy job. You could see the unknown for however far you got and you came back with flowers and drinks in your wake. People looked up to them, but now it seemed that people laughed more than they admired. His eyes closed again as he relived his first return. People waved flowers and flags of the Corps in the wind as they lined the parade of horses and soldiers. Women blushed and giggled at gallant men who pioneered the search for new territory under humanity's name. Children looked on in awe and amazement as their heroes passed, heads high. To be so valiant used to be an honor. Now it's being stupid.

"Corporal!"

"Fucking hell!" Rivaille snapped, Eren grabbing his wrist tightly and looking as his injured hand. In a moment of unplanned reflex the man rose his left hand and cracked it over Eren's head. "Don't you know not to touch something that looks pretty fuckin' broken?!"

The boy groaned as he pushed upright on his knees, rubbing the sore spot on his head. One eye opened as he saw the expression of horror and pain burn itself into the corporal's face. Eren had never seen him so, well, so easy-to-read before. Usually it was this grand stoic mask of I-don't-give-a-shit, but now it was agony radiating up his arm and through his body. Though he shouldn't have been so interest, he couldn't help it.

"S-sorry," the boy muttered, looking at the hand as blood pooled in the contorted palm. Eyes narrowing, Eren grabbed Rivaille's wrist and pulled him to his feet.

"Let go of me you little shit," the man snapped, but the boy only tightened his grip, channeling titan strength.

Eren had just managed to pull the corporal to the entrance of the dungeon when the man pulled away, bracing himself against the wall in the corridor. "I told you to let go!" The boy spun on his heel and glowered, hands balled into fists.

"If we don't clean and bandage your hand you could die."

Without a word Eren bent at his waist and wrapped one arm around Rivaille's. The man gasped as the boy hoisted him right over his shoulder, holding the corporal by the back of his thighs. Fury raging through him, Rivaille pushed against Eren's back to get a better look at him.

"Put me down, so help me, God, Jaeger!" He barked, Eren playing deaf. "I have the rights to your death certificate, you little shit!" Still, the boy walked on down the hall, arms firmly wrapped around the man's thighs. "You fucking-," he began, throwing his entire body weight on his upper body.

Jolting backwards Eren staggered as the corporal pushed his hands against the cobblestone floor, ignoring the pain racing up his arm. Anger truly does blind the pain. Once the man had a good hold on the ground he twisted his legs and wrapped his feet around Eren's neck, sneering as he felt the boy swallow. The trainee's body was bowed so not to let Rivaille collapse onto his face, but it would be downfall. One look over his shoulder and he knew what would come next.

With one swift flip Rivaille threw Eren back ten feet by his throat, the corporal's feet landing cat-like on the ground. Gracefully he rose to his full height, barely staggering over five-two. He looked at his hand that was starting to twitch in disagreement with so much action. Rivaille would rather suffer through that then have Eren's hand's so close to his ass.

Looking back Eren was splayed out flat on his back, eyes dizzy from the crack of his head on stone. The corporal strode over and bent at his hips to face him. Jaeger's eyes were popping, mouth agape as he looked up at the man. He was completely speechless.

"I told you, Jaeger," the man spat as he reached down and wrapped his good hand around the back of the boy's jacket collar, "To put me down."

From the middle of the hallway all the way to the infirmary on the opposite side of the castle Eren was drug like a ragdoll, eyes still bulging in shock. How had a man so tiny flipped him over with his feet so effortlessly? He'd seen Mikasa to that to a thug once, but he'd never truly understood how someone so small could pull it off, especially since he was much taller than Rivaille. Or was it that he knew Eren wouldn't drop him? Still stunned, the boy couldn't decide whether to feel trusted or shocked.

By the time that Eren had come to his senses Rivaille was rummaging through a drawer in the infirmary. He blinked back to reality and saw the man's hand was starting to turn a bluish-black from bruising. If the corporal hadn't acted so stupidly and done a full body flip, throwing Eren across the hall he could have felt more sympathetic to him. Even then, his sympathy only went so far when his body healed in seconds.

"Are you just going to sit there and stare at me or help me find the bandages?"

Slowly the boy stood and grabbed them from on the counter just inches from the corporal's hand. Beneath his breath the man swore and snatched the gauze and tape from Eren's hand. Back across the room he slunk back down into yet another chair and began unwrapping the bloody dressings from around his gushing hand.

Even Eren winces when he saw the broken skin and slightly torn muscles exposed in Rivaille's hand. The man stared at the wound and sucked in a deep breath through his nose. It was far worse than he thought. At this rate of recklessness he could lose the use of his dominant hand and humanity would lose its prized show-dog soldier. Couldn't have the word-of-mouth media gossiping, now could they?

"Corporal, wait a minute," Eren jumped, the man was already pouring alcohol over the wound and squeezing his eyes shut. Biting back the pain the man sucked in his lips and let out a muffled grunt of pain. The boy took a step back, hand still reaching out to stop the corporal. "Rivaille…"

"What?"

It was a stupid idea. Eren wasn't even sure of its success and even then it might just kill the Lance Corporal with shock due to his "undiagnosed" OCD being a grade-A clean freak. The boy's eyes lolled from one side to the other in a wide arch as he forced a stiff, uneasy grin. Rivaille was still waiting for his input, though he could hardly care. The boy opened his mouth as if to blurt out his idea, but his lips defiantly closed tight again. If he didn't word it properly Rivaille just might kill him for thinking the thing. "Jaeger!"

"W-well," Eren nodded, looking off to the side. God help him if Rivaille took this the wrong way. "I figured that since… well, remember when you knocked my tooth out?"

The corporal thought back to their first official meeting outside a prison cell and grinned. Oh, he remembered alright. One effortless kick to the face and Jaeger's head went snapping. The crowd had gasped with horror as he threw punches and kneed in the boy's face. Just the way that Eren's skull connected with the corporal's foot made him grin in reminiscence. It's so rare to find someone's body that just… clicks with yours. Rather, cracks, in this case. Ah, what a pleasant memory. He could relive it forever.

"Oh, I remember," he sneered.

"Well my tooth, you know," Eren nodded. "By the time Hanji and the rest had brought me back to the room it'd grown back. You fully ripped my molar out with your boot," Eren's face paled a little as he himself felt an echo of the impact in his jaw. He'd never had such a beating in his entire life. Or maybe it was just that he'd never had his ass handed to him on a platter of, "I'm doing this to save your life."

"Point being?"

"The titan power's in my blood. So I figured maybe… er… that if… we put some of… my blood in your hand, it'd heal… right?" Eren braced himself for another kick like a hammer of God to his face, eyes screwing shut as he waited for the impact. His shoulders tensed, fists balled as the sound of Rivaille standing filled his ears. All he could do was chant in his head, _God, please not my balls, please not my balls, please not my balls… _

"That's not a shabby idea."

Say what now?

The corporal walked back over to the cabinets of supplies and pulled out a scalpel and reached for another chair. Once he'd dragged it over in front of his own, Rivaille motioned for Eren to take a seat. Though, the boy was still in shock. How on god's green earth had that plan worked? Either he was getting better or his superior was getting old. "Give me your hand."

"No, I can do it!" Eren jumped, instinctively bringing his hand to his mouth. The corporal's eyes bulged as he grabbed the boy's wrist and cracked his hand over the boy's head.

"Idiot!"

"What?!"

Rivaille didn't even speak, just staring at Eren as if he'd somehow realize he would have destroyed half the east wing just by taking a chomp into his hand. Soon the boy understood and his own eyes popped in shock. How could he have forgotten? Like, seriously, how do you forget molecularly shifting from five-seven to somewhere pushing seventeen meters? "Oh god!"

"Oh, yeah," the corporal grimaced, handing the boy the scalpel. "Humanity's greatest hope. Oh, I can see it now."

"Says humanity's greatest soldier, currently drinking himself stupid to drown the pain," Eren retorted, the corporal's glare flat and far from amused. "Have faith in someone, jeez."

The phrase caught the man off guard, but the boy missed the look. Eren's eyes were steadily watching as the blade cut through his hand. He explained that they probably wouldn't have much time before it healed back, so the contact would be pretty instantaneous. Unfortunately for the corporal, he didn't follow too well. The alcohol was really getting to his head.

With a firm squeeze to his hand to get the blood flowing Eren tightly grasped Rivaille's broken, bleeding hand. The man jumped in his seat, teeth clenching to hold in the scream boiling in his throat. Shallow, ragged breaths filled his lungs as he felt a strange radiating warmth blossom in his wound. Soon the pain was falling away like drifting petals and his body unfurled from its tense position.

Slowly Eren let his grip loosen and pull away, both of the men's eyes watching Rivaille's hand. Shock and a gasp of success filled the infirmary as they saw skin healing together neatly. Still taken aback, the corporal wiggled his fingers and then squeezed them inward on his palm. Absolutely no pain or resistance.

"Jaeger, you may just be more than humanity's greatest hope… you may be its next medical miracle if you don't keep this under wraps," the corporal said, eyes still wide in shock as he looked over the thin, spidery scar on his palm.

Still unsure of its solidity the man stood from the chair and walked over to the basin of water by the supplies for cleaning. Rivaille dipped a rag in the cool water and scrubbed the dried blood away from his hand and saw the results in a clear light for the first time since he'd broken his hand. Sure enough it was as if nothing had ever happened. Even the scar that was left behind would surely fade within weeks of its arrival.

"Is it better?" The corporal jumped to the sound of Eren's voice on his ear. It was so sincere despite the pain he'd forced the kid to suffer through. Though, again, he was pretty apathetic to it all, but he felt that Jaeger was entitled to some sort of medal of good efforts. In a time such as theirs his optimism and quick thinking was appreciated. Though, it seemed that Eren was pining for more than that.

"It's fine," the man snapped curtly as he let his hand fall comfortably to his side.

"Corporal, I-," Eren began, but the man had already left the room.

The boy's shoulders hung as he slumped onto one of the beds in the infirmary. It seemed that everyone in the world was moving too fast to hear him out, but they didn't know that. To them he just seemed to be slugging along sans his passion for demolishing the titan race.

Around the corner behind him Rivaille watched as Eren looked at his own hand, healing effortlessly. The man imagined what sort of life he had ahead for him. If the war ever did end, if they ever saw victory, he'd never get out of the memories. He would grow to be a proper soldier haunted by the screams and bloodstains of his fallen friends. If Mikasa ever veered off her hell-bent path of protecting him, Eren would wander the world lonesome. No woman or man could ever understand the demons that coiled inside of him and he would never meet the eyes of a friend properly unless they truly held the compassion of a saint in their heart, patient for him to open up. Just one look at humanity's state and reaction to him was a clear defining moment that answered all those questions.

Rivaille rounded the corner down the corridor and headed up to his quarters. He remembered his own days when he was young. He'd been living on the strings of life's ropes. People despised him and ran from him like scum. Rumors bubbled like tar in the air around him with people constantly putting him down or spitting hatred in fear. The only people that even cared about him were the ones that put him in the state of hopelessness that forced him to join in a gang of other thugs. Making hits, burning houses, robbing stores, gathering debts, and intimidating the public was all in the job description. Thinking back, if Irwin hadn't saved him from that life he'd probably never made it past twenty. Three years of that life was far from enough and now those that had dragged him down were erased. Titans, soldiers, starvation: Rivaille couldn't say which got them first.

When the man raised his head he was back in his room, door shut behind him as he looked back down to his palm once again. The scar was already thinning to the point it looked like just another crease in the skin of his hand. Slowly he rubbed his finger over the scar, pressing hard so that the memory would burn inside his head. He would not forget this. Like so many others he'd lost and carved their faces contorted in horror into his mind, he would remember the selfless act and the voice of compassion-laced concern. Maybe then he could sleep at night and the shadows would fade from around his eyes. Honestly, greyish blots around his snake-like eyes didn't help his case that he really wasn't that disagreeable.

Just when the man was settling he heard the door to his room creak softly. His eyes shot over to see Eren peeking in, his eye burning through the darkness. The corporal called for him to come up and he did, feet padding softly on the wooden floor.

"You can go to bed now. Or do you need someone to tuck you in so you don't wet the bed."

"You know, for someone trying to be gracious you can sure be a self-righteous ass," Eren glowered, eyes glimmering in the dark. The day had faded so quickly that it barely felt like any time had passed at all, yet so much had happened. And Hanji's scouting group wasn't back yet.

"What do you want, Jaeger?" The man sighed as he turned back on his bed and began pulling the tan jacket off of his shoulders.

Eren's words caught in his throat as he watched the corporal peel away the fabric from his shoulders. With his back to the boy Jaeger had a full view of the man's shoulders shifting beneath the white tunic. For such a small man he was a well-defined one.

"I just… wanted to really make sure you were okay," he blurted.

Lie. Eren was confused why Rivaille had rushed out because it seemed like a lot of people were doing that lately. He was subconsciously pining for physical contact, even just another second to hold Rivaille's hand. It's strange how the human body craves contact when it's scared as if it wants the shaking to be held tight be someone stronger of will, but that was good. It just meant Eren was that much more human.

Eyes lingering back, the boy jumped. The corporal had somehow removed his tunic around the leather straps of the uniform and folded it neatly on the bed. _It's summer,_ Eren muttered in his head, _It's hot in here because it's summer. _

"Well, I'm fine. Go to bed."

"How come you did that?"

Rivaille craned his neck back to see Eren from upside down, his brow knitted in confusion. "Did what?" He asked drolly, body flexing forward again so that he could turn on the bed to face the boy.

"Took your… shirt off around the leather?"

"Mm?" The corporal looked down at his chest and back up to Eren's ever so slightly pink face. _Oh, god, don't tell me… _"What, no one told you about this?" Eren shook his head, nervousness bleeding from every pore. "You're supposed to fit your gear when you're naked for a tight fit. If you adjust the straps around your clothes then you could get slip spots. Your underwear doesn't really affect the fit, so it's fine if you adjust it that way."

Even if Rivaille was handing out rare expert advice on how to properly adjust your 3DMG straps Eren was a bit distracted. He'd never been someone to really pay attention to his urges with the constant raging war over an unknown species. Even then he hadn't checked a box of definite sexuality because most of his life had consisted of keeping his friends alive, surviving boot camp, and figuring out more violent ways to kill titans. Though, looking at Rivaille's well-defined body was beginning to stir up strange feelings in Eren's stomach.

"Jaeger," the corporal tilted his head as he walked toward the nervous boy. "Somethin' you wanna tell me?" Eren shook his head stiffly. "Uhuh…"

Skeptical, Rivaille grabbed Eren by the shoulder and led him over to the door, pulling it wide. Too stunned to respond the boy stumbled out into the hallway and looked back at his superior. Whether Eren knew it or not, Rivaille had caught on. Though, he would have his fair share of fun. After all, such a golden opportunity came once a millennia for a race at war.

Reaching out gently the corporal coaxed the boy forward. Like a dog led by the nose Eren walked forward, head spinning with thoughts like static. One smooth hand brushed over Eren's face as Rivaille used the height of his boots to his advantage. The man held Jaeger's face in his hands and looked his expression over. _You obvious little fuck, where's your tact_? Rivaille thought with a sneer, his lips pressing against both sides of Eren's face.

"Good night, Jaeger."

And with that the door closed shut with a click. Eren's eyes opened like dinner plates as he felt his hand rub over the spot where Rivaille's lips had just grazed. Numbly he turned and walked back down the spiral staircase, legs like jelly as he felt a foreign sensation throb through him. The moment he reached the base of the steps his footing slipped and he slid down the side of the stone wall, face burning. The boy let his knees press into his chest as he squeezed his body against the stone, trying to become one with the wall. Indecisively he pressed his hand over his mouth and up the side of his face, eyes staring into space off to the side. "What's wrong with me…?"


	3. Chapter 3

Bed, what a distant thought. Eren collapsed onto his assigned room in the dungeon and stared at the walls he'd barely managed to scrub before the bones of Rivaille's hand began puncturing though his skin. The sensation when the boy had held the corporal's hand in his was strange. It was as if swirls of ink were dancing in a pool of water, each smoky twist of the ink leaving a whisper of a touch crawling up Eren's arm. Maybe Rivaille felt his hand numb pleasantly and he went back his business, but it was something electric for Jaeger.

Lately it seemed like the air around the man was buzzing with static like a wall of pressure-building tension burned between them at a cognitively deafening decibel, yet the room was still and silent. A sigh of defeat escaped him as he rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

Pushing all thoughts of that deranged man that looked more like a twenty-something than a man as old as he was, Eren couldn't help but wonder what Mikasa and Armin were doing. The movement in the trees had been enough to stir up suspicion in the upper ranks, yet it seemed like nothing more than a breeze. But gales of wind weren't isolated to circular plots of land, were they? It had been the whole afternoon. He really hoped they were okay.

"_You should secure the straps when you're in your underwear to assure a good fit."_

_Eren's eyes looked around for the source of the voice echoing all around him, but Rivaille was nowhere to be found. Instead the boy was chained down to a metal post much like in his trial of survival. His gaze shot around the empty, dark room for the man in charge of his every breath; it was pretty futile to try to see anything more than a foot in front of his face, if that. _

"_Corporal Rivaille?" The boy's voice echoed. _

"_Don't start crying, Jaeger. Don't think the monsters in your head would think you very strong if you did," the man's voice whispered, the warmth of his breath tickling the top of his right ear. Nervous, the boy shot his head back to see the corporal, but he was alone. Again. _

"_I'm not crying," he spat back, pulling against the steel bonds. _

"_Oh? But something inside of you is." _

_In the distance a light popped on, illuminating what at first looked like a reflection of Eren except it moved on its own accord. So, perhaps, a copy of himself? The boy watched as his copy looked around nervously, face turning from its usual complexion to a blooming red as two hands snaked from behind him in the shadows. _

"_Whining, pining for attention you're too ashamed to seek," the voice hissed, its coldness truly reminiscent of the darkness that defined Lance Corporal Rivaille. If not him, who was it? _

_Nearly in horror Eren gaped as the hands popped the latch on his belt buckle and reached into his pants, grasping the copy's member. The boy jolted in shock, eyes widening as two fingers of the other hand pried open his mouth and rubbed the inside until the soft flesh felt raw. Eren's body pressed back against the metal post as he was forced to watch with two hands holding his face forward. The voice knew he didn't have to force the boy to watch because of that burning something deep within him. He was sickly curious even if watching did fill him to the brim with shame. _

"_Ngh… nn… Riv-," the copy began, but the hand clasped over his mouth. That's when it hit the boy. _

_Lurching forward Eren was hit with a ten-pound bag of bricks of sensations racing through him. Suddenly his mouth was raw and a heat stirred in his pants. "N-no," he barely whispered, face turning bright red as the hands began running their heated touch down his body. _

"_What, you thought this wasn't you?" The voice scoffed, the image of the copy coming closer until Eren's face was pressed against his own reflection, the puzzle all coming together. _

_A cool mirrored surface pressed against his forehead as he watched what the hands did to him. It was never a copy, only a glimpse into what would be. Tears welled in his eyes as he jerked against the bonds. Only when he'd begged the committee of merchants for his life had he managed to even shake the post, but now his body was so weak he wasn't even sure he had the energy to fight it. "You're so against it. Everything's a fight for you, isn't it Jaeger?" _

"_St-stop," he hissed, disgrace bubbling over as he watched his tear-streaked face turn deep crimson in the mirror. If he couldn't even fight back the lewd drives in his own head for a superior how could he burn the souls of the enemy in his hand? This wasn't the monster he was. This was the monster hiding in the wake of the titan. The pitiful soul. "Stop… sto… stop…" _

"_Mm?" _

"_Stop… Stop this!" Eren snapped, biting his lip so hard beads of glistening red broke the skin of his mouth and ran down his chin. _

"_Say the name and it's all over. So much power in that name," the voice sneered at Eren's ear. _

"_No… Get off me!" _

"_Say it!" The hissing tone challenged. _

"_Let go! M-Mikasa!" _

"_So off," the voice chortled, more hands tearing at his pants. _

"_Please… please, don't," he trembled, tears childishly racing down his cheek and down his neck. _

"_It's coming for you…" _

"_No!" _

"_Say it!" _

"_RIVAILLE!" _

_The world trembled as the hands disappeared and the voice became distant like the sound of a drop of water in a cavern, endless. Lungs heaving in nervous victory, Eren looked around from his post. Just as he let a sigh of relief wash over him forward became down and backwards became up. The post he was chained to became tight, hot, and swayed in the breeze. He was bound by a rope around his middle and arms, his body hung in midair. _

_They always said that if you died in the dream you died in real life, but that couldn't be true, right? The moment Eren had settled, eyes scrunched tight to avoid becoming sick with the unseen height he was hanging from, a sick, rotten gale cut through him. His stomach lurched violently as the smell of rotting flesh filled Eren's nose. Fearfully the boy's eyes opened and turned. No way… not here…. This couldn't be happening. _

"_Told you. You're too weak to even dent the demon's ego. That is, implying these hell-sent creatures even have the capacity for hubris," the voice returned, Eren's eyes spilling over with tears and mouth parting in an ear-splitting scream. The unpiloted form of his titan spread its jaws, innumerous teeth dripping with blood and ripped flesh. "Sleep tight, you failure. Honestly, saving humanity? You? How cute." Eren's fate was sealed with the bitter snider remark as the monster swung the boy into its mouth. He truly would be swallowed by his own darkness, dead or alive. _

"Eren!"

The boy shot upright with a violent gasp, lungs greedily sucking back oxygen as his hand balled Rivaille's shirt in his fist. For a moment he was disillusioned with reality, body unsure what was up or down and if the corporal was really standing over his bed with beady eyes bulging in horror. The moment he realized he was back in the holding cell, hand tightly wrapped around the corporal's shirt he let his arm fall back at his side.

It had all felt so real. So vivid in his mind and yet he was sitting in a world so painful foreign that he felt like he might die. It took him a good ten minutes of rubbing at his sore wrists and staring into space before Jaeger found himself, eyes looking up to his superior.

"Why are you down here?"

The man looked as if he was slapped clear across the face. His face screwed up in anger as he chopped the kid over the head. How could he be so naïve? Or was it that he was truly deaf whenever he closed his eyes and drifted into dreamland. Though, from the sounds reverberating through the castle walls it was certain that sugar plums were the farthest things running through Eren's head.

"You were screaming like someone was skinning you alive!" The man snapped harshly, shoulders shaking in anger.

He was just relieved that his hand hadn't snapped trying to wake the boy and that he wasn't seriously hurt. What he'd told the boy was far from an exaggeration. The moon had risen high into the black sky of the night and the corporal had fallen asleep hours before the piercing howl of agony shot through his head like a bullet. Surely the others at their furthest outpost heard and were rushing back now.

"I…" Eren began, suddenly flooded with the memory of the Rivaille-adjacent voice and the writhing touches of so many hands on his body. "I was…"

"Are you sick again?"

"Huh?"

"Your face is red hot," the corporal grunted, placing his hand on the boy's forehead. Eren nearly fainted as he swatted the corporal's hand away.

"I'm f-fine!"

"Fine like my mother," the corporal glowered, folding his arms over his chest.

"How am I supposed to know how fine your mother is?!"

"My mother's dead you insensitive fuck!"

A knot formed in Eren's throat as he looked around for an escape. Stupid! How could he just assume that was a good response? Though, seeing Rivaille's expression, he could also be pulling a joke right now… or alternatively he could be being quite serious. "I'm joking…" Phew. "I don't really care that much if she's dead."

_What?!_

"S-sorry," the boy stammered, wiping his hand down his face.

Disgust filled him as he realized he was drenched in sweat, his shirt sticking tight to his skin. Rubbing a hand down his neck and over his chest he was confirmed that he was completely soaked. Hand pressing into the bed to get up, a shudder of revulsion raced up his arm as he felt the mattress dampen his palm; he couldn't possibly have sweat this much… could he?

"You're gross," the corporal stared at him from the door of the cell. "Go take a shower and get ready."

"Ready…?"

"It's dawn, Jaeger."

Sure enough, stepping out of the dungeon, glimmers of sunlight peeked over the tree line and illuminated the long, open corridor of the castle with warm light. On the horizon the world seemed so at peace despite the true nature beyond those hopeful rays of light.

In the bathroom the sound of Eren's wet footsteps bounced off the stone walls and rose into the rafters. His body felt so exhausted that he might as well have fought an entire nest of titans in his sleep. No… he lost, didn't he? Slowly he was losing control and the blade of Rivaille's gear would cross the back of his neck. If not while he was a titan, how would that man decide to kill him? Or would he? Nothing scared Eren more than the control that the corporal had over him. First his life, then his security… what next? Right… his body.

Slinking into the shower stripped of the sopping clothes Eren let the steam clear his head. The water washed away the sensations from his body as well as the residue around his legs, but they could never burn away the memories no matter how hot it was. Rivaille's voice still scratched at the top of his ears and his touch still raced down Eren's hips.

Frustration seethed through the boy as he pounded a fist against the wall of the shower, teeth gritting in anger. How could he let himself get this way, so far from his purpose? But that's what the monster wanted, right; full dominion over the body he was forced to share. The scary part was that it felt like the demon was winning.

By the time that he'd cleaned himself up and pulled a dry shirt over his head the troops had returned. The dining hall was filled with the returned survey corps members, eyes tried tired from the all-night stake-out. Mikasa looked up from her breakfast and gave an assuring nod to Eren. Armin looked over his shoulder and smiled, eyes rimmed in a shadow of exhaustion.

"Hold down the fort okay?" Jean spat bitterly, eyes shooting daggers at the one who got to stay behind.

"Oh, yeah," Eren smirked. "Took a bath and got to have Rivaille use me as a damn horse. Just peachy."

"Serves you right, slacker," the young man said smugly, taking a mouthful of oatmeal in.

"What did you call me?" Eren turned, Armin sensing the rivalry stewing in the air.

"Slacker," Jean said so casually as if he wasn't aware the state Jaeger was in. Though, he probably didn't. "I'd rather have crawled across this castle with the Lance Corporal standing on my back than to have to deal with what I saw."

"Jean!" Mikasa snapped.

Suddenly everyone was on pins and needles as the girl's eyes shot looks of clear warning to everyone. Speak a word, her gaze muttered, and you'll wake up dangling over a titan's mouth. Eren saw that look and turned to the people nervously eating their food, eyes unable to meet his.

"What'd you see?" Eren turned to the snarky boy sternly.

Silence burned in the room was Jaeger walked and stood right in front of Jean's face. "What… did you see?" He asked again, eyes burning.

"Just some bad stuff."

"What sort of _stuff_?"

"Titan related things."

Fists balled Eren forced Jean to look at him. His face was pale and tired just like when he and the rest of the team swept Trost's streets for bodies and found Marco among them. His face reminded Eren of the time Jean truly decided he wouldn't live the cushy life of an inner wall officer. It was as if something horrific twisted inside the young man's mind, contorting his outlook on just about everything. The bread in the cabinet could be damned to suffering in Jean's eyes.

"Mikasa?"

"Mm?" The girl looked up, jumping in her skin as Eren's eyes fell upon her.

"What did you make them agree on?"

Everyone in the room's shoulders hunched further forward as they saw a fight coming. No one wanted to speak of the monster they saw, but in turn they also didn't want anything to do with Eren. Not so much as a wave could be given to him now. Not after what they'd seen.

Mikasa stopped eating and looked up at him. She sucked in a deep breath through her nose while Armin sipped nervously on his drink. Why was everyone on pins and needles? Why wouldn't anyone look at Eren? Why wouldn't Jean answer his question? Well, Jean had always been a pretentious little shit, but he was more disagreeable than usual.

"It was nothing. Just some blind titans that kept stumbling in circles. We were watching them to make sure they weren't calling for others," she said shortly, eyes unblinking.

"That's a lie," Eren said, voice somehow dark and distant.

"What?"

"I can smell it," he hissed, hair falling over his eyes. "What did you see?"

"E…ren…?" Armin murmured, eyes widening as he saw the boy's eyes from beneath his bangs.

Slowly Jaeger began lifting his head, glower cast down over his friends. Something sinister was seeping to the surface and his humanity was drowning in it. Seeing the transition Armin stood slowly, hands against the table as he blocked Mikasa from the creature's view. "Eren… Eren?"

A short hiss between clenched teeth and he smirked, eyes like pins. Armin couldn't help but shudder at his friend's resemblance to Rivaille's cruelty. Though, there was something different about this sort of look. It was dark, evil almost laced with humor only understood by the momentary lapse in humanity. It was as if the creature was laughing at them for being so weak.

"You all put up such a good fight to save him," the voice hissed, the tone far deeper than Eren's throat could create. Luckily only Armin caught the tone.

The second the voice faded Eren's eyes rolled back into his head and his body went limp. If Rivaille hadn't been walking in the boy would have collapsed onto the stone floor. The corporal gripped Eren tightly around the side and lifted him up into his arms, bridal style. Mikasa jumped to her feet one second off time, but she relaxed the moment she saw her adoptive brother was safe.

"Finish your breakfast, Ackerman," the man ordered, eyes sending their own message.

_Neither of you saw anything. And by the way, I know everything. _

Quickly Rivaille carried Eren out of the dining hall and the room was flooded with a sense of relief. Though, were Mikasa and Armin were taking their seats more emotions stirred.

"We should tell him," Armin said offhandedly. Without missing a beat Mikasa wrapped her fist around the boy's collar and pulled him to her face, right across the table. "M-Mikasa?!"

"Let's be clear, Armin. You're like family to me. You're a brother to me. I would protect you at most all costs, but if you even think about telling Eren what happened out there I will turn you into a new pair if leather boots. I like boots, Armin," Mikasa hissed, face solid as a rock as she spook. Jean and Connie, sitting five feet away, had bug eyes as the girl sat her friend back down and returned to her food. God, she was scary.

There wasn't really a point in taking him back to the cell because for some reason that sweat-stained bed induced nothing but nightmares and blood-curdling screams. It was okay to have such an outburst while the team was gone, but now that they'd returned it could alarm the entire team. Though, Rivaille wasn't sure if they'd not heard him from on the edge of the perimeter.

"Lance Corporal," Hanji Zoe had said, face white as a sheet upon return. "There's… there's been a development, sir."

Rivaille pushed it out of his mind as he traversed the hall and strode up the stairs until he came face to face with the familiar door of his bedroom. Inside it was warm with morning air that blew through the open window and across the well-worn floors. It was a small, tidy sanctuary in a sea of chaos, one that Rivaille would kill a man to keep clean.

Gently the man set Eren on his bed, making sure that he wouldn't roll off. He'd lied when he tried to make himself seem okay. It was a bad lie, too. Though Eren hadn't noticed it, the corporal had been tailing the boy all morning from the bathroom to the dining hall. He tried walking to full height but for some reason he was slumping, footing slow and sloppy. Eren was a lot of things, but a careless wreck wasn't one of them. At least, not so obviously.

When the twinge of a deep voice invaded the boy's voice in the dining hall—comment directed at Armin, no less—Rivaille knew it was coming. Hanji had warned him just in time, too. If Eren had fallen and cracked his head over the stone floor he might not have come out of it. At this rate, that could be a good thing.

"_Corporal, this… this thing is bigger than all of us…" Hanji muttered, fists trembling at her sides. "Eren is in danger, Rivaille." Hearing his name sent a chill down the corporal's spine. Hanji used it exclusively when she was being serious as possible. Mostly it was captain or lance to joke around, but when she uttered his birth name there was something that truly scared her. And when something scares the girl who names titans and sings them to sleep, you listen to her. _

"_What was on the horizon, Hanji?" _

"_I…" The girl's voice died in her throat as she stared at the ground, glasses fogged by her tears streaming her face. What on earth had she seen out there? _

"_Zoe…" _

"_We've co-confirmed the existence of a second titan-human hybrid," she muttered, lips pursing. _

"_Alright… did you bring them back?" _

"_We… we were forced to eradicate it." _

_Rivaille's eyes widened as he looked up at Hanji, her shoulders trembling as she tried swallowing the sensation of fear shaking her body like an earthquake. So much blood… the screams were so loud and its voice… it wasn't human. It wasn't titan, either. Rather, it was only the evil in those decimated creatures brought to manifestation. That had to be the answer. If not that, what had she seen? _

"_Zoe, what did your squad find?" _

"_S-several others," she whispered, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. _

"_What?" _

"_They were… not…" _

"_Hanji!" _

"_We didn't have time to stay with them long… they… scratched and bit… like… like they were digging," she swallowed the choking sensation in her throat. _

"_Digging for what?" _

"_Not what… wh-where." The corporal waited for her to take a deep breath and begin again. "They were digging… in each other's bodies." The man's stomach knotted in nausea as he relived the days of his first scouting mission for just a blink, pushing the memory back as he forced himself to listen to Hanji's report. "Looking for something…" _

"_Like what?" _

"_What it looked like," she breathed, wringing her hands together and scrupulously inspecting the lines on her palms, "was humanity." _

"_Come again?" _

"_They weren't titans yet. They were just people, but… their bodies were featureless and their jaws were split with too many teeth. Their human bodies had somehow become aesthetically titan," she nodded, regaining her voice just long enough to tell him. _

_The girl raked a free hand through her long auburn hair and sighed, shoving her other hand deep into her pocket. Honestly she wasn't holding up to well compared with the rest of her team who only looked with stoic expressions of bravery while she bit back sobs of horror. She's taken care of Sonny and Bean, she'd even cut down innumerous titans, but she'd never seen them so outwardly violent. Eating and destruction was all they ever progressed to, but they'd never gone so far as to tear each other limb from limb looking for something that was impossible to find. _

"_So what made you think that they were human?" Hanji's eyes bulged from behind her lenses as she stared at the corporal, lips closed tight. She didn't want to say the words, but the truth had to be recorded even if it was just by word of mouth. _

"_They spoke," she said curtly, body still. "They spoke and they called out names of people in the group." _

"_What?" _

"_One by one, the strongest pointed a finger up at us, well hidden and said our names. Lastly Mikasa Ackerman's and Armin Arlert's," Hanji nearly whispered as if the words would rip a hole in reality. _

"_Who were they then?" Rivaille asked, eyes dark and serious. _

"_I don't know," the girl shook her head. "But whoever they are… they're after Eren." _

"_How do you know that?" _

"_Eren Jaeger… the last name they called into the darkness." _

Looking down at the boy on the bed the corporal imagined what sorts of monsters were chasing him, from the inside and out. Slowly Eren turned in his sleep, resting on his side with his hand by his face as if to have a swinging arm ready if anything came after him.

"What's going on inside your head, Eren?" Rivaille whispered, smoothing the boy's face with the back of his hand.

The boy let out a groan in his sleep that made the corporal's skin prickle. He pulled his hand back and turned away, hand covering his mouth. No, it was nothing. Absolutely nothing. God, what was going on his head? He needed to focus. More importantly, he needed to have a meeting with his team. The perimeter needed to be secured. If there was so much as a loophole a foot could get through there would be true hell to pay.


	4. Chapter 4

Thankfully Eren slept dreamlessly on Rivaille's bed and no temperature spiked. While the boy slept the corporal commanded the entire group of troops to ring the perimeter in shifts with the utmost diligence. "From what you've seen and I've heard no gap can appear in the wall for these… _things_ to get in." But the meeting was interrupted.

"Lance Corporal, sir!" The hand shot up in the air gaining the man's attention.

"What?"

"Your hand, sir," Jean nodded, noting. Sure enough everyone's eyes followed to Rivaille's hand, fine and completely unbroken. "When we left the injury was incapacitating."

"What did happen?" Hanji tilted her head, finger pressing into her cheek as she looked for an answer.

"Jean, is it?"

"Sir!"

"Take double shifts."

"Wh-what?!"

"Ohohoh, someone's being nosy," the auburn-haired woman snickered, not giving Rivaille a reason to hand her a triple shift. She liked sleeping and meals just as much as the next Sasha-like person, so she zipped her curious lips and reclined in the wooden chair, two of the legs suspended as she balanced her weight between the legs and the table.

Once the corporal had dismissed the meeting Hanji hopped to his side, hands laced behind her back as she took long, cheerful steps. A smug grin was plastered on her face as she looked down at the man and coughed to hide a laugh. Something had most definitely changed about him. The normal Rivaille would have punched Jean on the head for interrupting the meeting for something that was so far from his business it looked like the capital from the castle. That or he'd have replied in the most vulgar way his head could muster on the spot. This Rivaille was critical, but softer around the edges than Zoe remembered.

"Keep smiling like that and you'll be working with Jean on the sunrise shift, Zoe," Rivaille growled from below, the girl's back stiffening in shock. When had he seen her face? How long had she been smiling in a way that annoyed him? Or was it that he knew why she was giddy?

"I apologize, sir," she nodded stiffly, shifting her gait to a more natural looking pace.

Everything about her must have looked like a wind-up toy with her nerves fried at the ends and fraying in the middle. So much had happened and now the sun was burning high in the sky in the late afternoon. She sure hoped that someone else felt that tense because if not she would be carrying Atlas's burden for the day.

"Why _are_ you smiling like that?" Now the real sweating began.

"Haha, well, you know," she looked off into the top corner of her field of view.

"Unfortunately, Zoe, I don't have the privileged information of knowing. So, spill it before I put you on walking rounds," he cornered the woman against the wall. She smiled nervously, lips sealed as she searched around for a way out. The hall was empty and no one was passing around on either side. "Stop smiling like that, you little shit!"

"In what way, sir?!" She jumped, skin crawling with fear that he'd catch on.

"That stupid way like you know some dumb secret!" Caught.

"I… you just seem…"

"I seem…?"

"More… a…approachable?" Rivaille blinked slowly at her, narrowing his beady eyes up at her. Was she serious? Approachable? In what way could he _ever_ be seen as someone you could walk up to and start a chat out of the blue? He backed away, putting his hands behind his back and watching her as he walked away back down the corridor, occasionally looking back just as stunned and confused.

Back on the wall Hanji hugged the stone and held her breath until the corporal began turning down the hallway towards his bedroom stairs. Sweat ran over her chin and down her neck as she gasped for breath, patting her face with her clammy palm. "Phew!" She sighed, walking crestfallen towards the courtyard to assign positions and establish checkpoints around the castle. Why did they have to have a castle as an HQ? Why not a cottage? Working the perimeter of a cottage would be a lot easier than a small-scale Transylvanian chateau.

When Rivaille stepped into the bedroom he saw that Eren hadn't moved so much as an inch. He knew they said that when you're exhausted you sleep like the dead, but this was ridiculous. The man walked over to the bed and saw Eren's chest rising and falling peacefully, his body no hotter or colder than it ought to be. Relief settled in his gut as he took the wooden chair away from his desk and set it by the bed. With a thump he dropped down into the chair and watched the boy sleep.

"_I don't know, but whoever they are… they're after Eren."_

"Pretty popular for an outskirts wall-town kid," the man sighed, remembering Hanji's starch white face. Though he tried putting humor in the situation there was something undeniably evil about what the woman had said. Humans with titan souls and bodies, voices that growled the names like a hit list; what did they see?

Hours ticked by while the corporal sat in the chair and watched Eren sleep, one leg crossed over the other. There wasn't much to do on a stake-out, but even though silence filled the halls everyone was on edge. The moon had risen high into the sky and stars twinkled dimly beside the pure white beacon. Outside Sasha looked up and saw the beauty of the world outside. Connie followed the girl's gaze and became entranced in the sky's beauty. Soon everyone was taking note of the sparkling purity that blanketed the earth in quiet peace. For just a moment you could forget the blood and the bones crunching in the back of their minds.

"Something, isn't it?" Sasha beamed, eyes alight in the beams of moonlight.

"Mm," Connie agreed with a murmur as if trying to break the quiet.

Around the castle in the courtyard Hanji stared up at the blissful view and sighed contentedly, hands on her hips as Jean sulked in position, eyes affixed to the gate. Just by the look of the quiet enveloping the castle no harm would befall anyone that night. That's all they could hope. They couldn't take any more casualties. Not at that rate.

Back in the room Eren's stirred on the bed, eliciting the corporal's attention. Rivaille sat up straight in his chair and watched as the boy's eyes slowly peeled open. His blue-green gaze stared into space as if he wasn't quite sure if he was awake yet. The second the corporal called his name he turned his head, eyes wide as if frightened by the sound.

"Eren?"

"Oh," the boy sighed, rolling over and sitting up on the bed.

"Sore at all?"

"Wh-what?" Eren blushed, looking around and realizing he was sitting on the corporal's bed. "What?!"

"Huh…? Wait… Get your mind out of the gutter, you repugnant shit!"

Eren's face was still red as the corporal groaned in defeat. This kid was really losing his grip if that was the first thing that popped into his mind. Nevertheless, his vitals needed to be checked. He hadn't moved for over four hours and now he was just rolling along like nothing had ever happened. Though, in all reality, Eren probably didn't remember a thing which was probably a good thing.

The boy sat there was Rivaille pressed his cool palm against the crook of his neck and pressed his free hand into his own. "No fever," he muttered to himself, moving to the hand down to the boy's wrist. The pulse was a bit fast, but what else was new? Eren was always so high strung it was a wonder why he didn't keel over in a heart attack from the intensity. Breathing seemed normal, so he was okay for now.

"So why am I in your room? I thought my 'gutter thoughts' would be too dirty for your room," Eren egged the corporal on. For a moment the man's face hit a wall of realization as he looked the boy over and frowned.

"You're right, get off," he growled, standing from the chair and repositioning the two so that Eren was slumped in the chair while Rivaille crossed his legs on the soft mattress. "So, what do you remember?"

"Remember?" Eren murmured slowly, blinking back to the morning where he'd taken a bath, walked to meet everyone in the dining hall and then… then… wait, what did happen next?

"Can't, can you?"

"What… what happened this morning? Wait… Is it _night_?!" Eren jolted, body becoming dizzy with these violent time shifts. He couldn't stay conscious through daylight at all this week! What was wrong with him?

"Tell me what you remember, Jaeger."

Looking over at the corporal Eren could see that his recollection was pivotal to his next words. Slowly the boy went through waking up, taking a shower, and then seeing Jean hiding something from him. Something was off about the way Mikasa's eyes scanned the crowd of the returned troops, almost menacingly as if choking off the words in their throats. _Say nothing_, her eyes said. _Say nothing and you get out of this alive. _

"Then it's… really vague," the boy shook his head, holding a hand over his right eye were a headache throbbed as if something was scratching its way from the inside out. "I think Armin said my name…?"

"Do you remember why?"

"Shit!" Eren winced, voice hitching as he leaned over and clutched his head.

Pain shot through his head like a hand was raking long nails over his right side of his brain. He couldn't help but grunt and bite back a scream. He couldn't let whatever was getting at him win again. It was just a memory, wasn't it? Nothing menacing about a passing hello at breakfast; there just couldn't be. Though that's not what the throbbing pain told him.

"Jaeger," the corporal whispered, reaching out for the boy.

Without a warning he stumbled off the chair and fell to his knees, head pressing downward until his forehead touched the floor. Ragged breathing shook his shoulders and soon the display was beginning to frighten the corporal. If he lost it here… if he lost his humanity in this small room where the greatest weapon Rivaille had at his expense was a quill pen then the entire cavalry would be endangered. Most importantly, they'd lose Eren and Rivaille.

"Ngh…! God damn it," Eren growled between clenched teeth, hands balled so tightly into fists that his fingernails cut through his palms. It was as if he was trying to strangle the life out of the demon inside of him.

_Why fight it? I can get you what you want this way, _a dark, lurid voice whispered, the pain growing inside of his head. Far away the corporal was calling his name and pressing his firm hands into Eren's shoulders, but the boy could barely feel it. He was already suspended in a world of darkness beguiled by a voice woven from lies. _I can get you in his arms… have him pull those faint throbs in your heart to the surface… _

"No!" Eren screamed, the corporal jumping back. "No, I won't let you!"

"Eren…"

Outside the castle a few eyes turned back to the building as if waiting for a scream of help, but they were pretty tied up. Eyes set deep into hollow faces watched the stationed fighters with growing hunger. The moment Connie looked down from staring at the sky his entire body shook with survival instinct as he whispered Sasha's name. She shot her eyes over to the forest and felt her entire body go rigid with fear. Around the other side of the castle Petra and Armin were watching one settle itself at the base of the tree. To the front Jean and Hanji stood at the ready as three stood parallel to each other at the front of the gate, faces blank but lips and hands dripping thick, clotted blood. They knew. They were only waiting.

_Stop fighting. You'll only wear yourself out. You're not that strong anyway, _the voice smirked.

"Shut up… Shut up!"

Rivaille slid off the bed and sat by Eren. His hand pressed against the boy's back and instantly recoiled. His body was burning up at an alarming rate, yet he seemed to act as if he'd never been colder. Eren's hands slid up to the nape of his neck and grabbed his hair, pulling as hard as he could. "Wake up," he hissed, body trembling and teeth chattering in the imaginary chill. "Wake me up!"

_Too late! _

"Ere—uh…" The corporal's voice was cut short the boy's hands fell away from his hair and settled by his face.

Slowly Eren rose off the flood and sat up, hair falling over his tenacious eyes. The corporal leaned up where he sat, suddenly very aware that the person working the boy's body was so far from Eren Jaeger that he might as well never have existed at all. His lips curved into a wicked smile as he rolled his shoulders almost as if getting a feel for the skin he was in. The being cricked Eren's neck left and right, a sigh of comfort escaping his lips. "Eren…?"

"Oh, you really are a treat," the voice snickered, turning to face the corporal, eyes still hidden by the boy's bangs. "So _this _is the great and mighty Lance Corporal Rivaille," the voice, borrowed from Eren, slurred the man's title purposefully. It was almost as if he was laughing at it.

"Who are you?" The man grimaced, not moving a muscle as he watched for the creature's movements.

"Oh, don't be like that, Rivi," the thing smirked, shortening the corporal's name childishly. "I'm Eren. That piece of ass you keep glancing at when I walk down the hall."

"Excuse you?" The man hissed his face growing dark with anger as he grabbed the boy's body by the collar and pulled the monster closer. "Get out of his body… so help me god, I'll end you both here and now."

In a blink the mind controlling Eren's body had Rivaille pinned against the side of the bed, legs straddling his. Slowly the bangs fell away from the boy's face and the corporal could get a good view of the creature's eyes. Though, he wished he could take his desire back as what he saw was nothing like he'd ever seen. Titans had always vaguely, if not surreally resembled human beings in grander, less proportionate scales, but never in his entire career had Rivaille seen something like the eyes that now watched him lasciviously.

Where whites once were sat a backdrop of black where Eren's signature blue-green piercing eyes cast a evocative look of desire. The creature blinked slowly and sneered as he grabbed the corporal's face while the man was caught completely off guard.

"Have a taste of your dreams, pretty boy," the monster hissed, locking his lips with Rivaille's.

The moment had happened so suddenly that the corporal was still trying to wrap his head around the boy's altered eyes, let alone his burning hot lips crushed against his. With even less of a warning the being inhabiting Eren's head slithered its tongue into the man's mouth and deepened the kiss as if pulling some deep, buried feeling in Rivaille's heart to the surface. He was digging. This is what these things did, wasn't it? Reached down deep and dug out raw emotion only to eat it alive. They didn't just eat humans… they ate the essence of humanity out of their hearts.

By the time that the corporal had realized how passionately the creature was kissing him, Eren's body rocking against his, it was too late. The boy pulled away with a laugh of victory. Slowly he licked his lips, eyes never leaving Rivaille's gaping, dazed expression. "Okeydokey," the voice giggled. "You can have it back now."

Eren's eyes rolled back into his head, body leaning back as if he was going to fall. Instinctively Rivaille caught the boy, but Jaeger jolted forward and blinked back to consciousness. For a moment he just stared at the corporal with a flat expression of confusion, wondering why the proud man was looking so, well, frazzled. Then everything that had happened within the past half hour flooded back into his head as his face turned bright read. His mouth opened wide in a silent scream as his entire body shook with horror and humiliation. He'd let that damn thing take control for ten minutes and look what it'd done! And now the corporal was pressing his hand into the small of Eren's back as if unsure what to do next.

Sweat running down his neck Eren jumped off the corporal and backed away, eyes wide with disbelief. This couldn't be happening, he screamed in his head. What was worse was that he hadn't put up that much of a fight, either. Why was everything going so fast? Where was everyone? Why didn't someone stop him? What was going on!?

"J-Jaeger!" Rivaille called, but the boy had sprinted down the stairs and disappeared.

Eren's feet were running so hard against the stone floor that the nerves in his feet were numb. His body was hot and shaking, but all he wanted to do was run. Like cotton was stuffing his ears he heard his name being called. Faster and faster he picked up speed until he was slipping, stumbling forward. The boy's eyes shot up and saw he was in the bathroom, showerhead hanging above him as if in an act of mercy.

"H-hot," he stammered, reaching up and pulling on the lever.

Icy water came crashing down over him and relief flooded his body. Steam rose from his shoulders as he knelt at the base of the shower, one hand still on the cold knob. It was just like when the titan's body was disintegrating into vapor, but he was still breathing and locked in a body burning up. Soon the boy's vision was clouded over with steam and his head became heavy. No, he wouldn't fall asleep. He couldn't let that thing wreak any more havoc in this world. Not again.

At the door Rivaille saw the steam swirling from up Eren's shoulders just like the titans. The boy was fighting back the urge to pass out into the comfort of sleep as if he was afraid to lose any more time. The man approached him slowly, careful not to let his footsteps echo along the bathroom's floors. Frighten him now and the results could be catastrophic.

"Eren…" The man whispered slowly, the boy's entire body shaking.

Jaeger spun around and nearly fainted at the sight of the corporal. He scooted backwards until his shoulder blades were pressed flush with the walls; hand over his mouth as if afraid his voice would act on its own. He shook his head and began pulling his knees close to his chest, only to slip in the water leaving himself wide open. "It's okay, just…" The man began, but his own words were cut off when he saw the tears running down Eren's eyes. It would be easy to mistake the tears for the shower spray, but he was crying so hard that there was no mistake.

"D-don't!"

"Jaeger," the man growled harshly, walking forward until he was just two feet from the boy. Upon closer inspection he saw that Eren's look was distant and focused on a fixed point in space.

"Shut up! I said go away!" He snapped, eyes still wide with confusion and fear. "Why won't you leave?!"

Slowly the corporal knelt down in front of the boy and stared into his frightened eyes. His hand was around his shirt collar like he was afraid something was trying to peel the clothing away. His shoulders trembled as he looked off to the side, head bowed in shame as a wild blush erupted across his face. "Stop saying that!"

"Eren, it's not real."

"He's got nothing to do with me! Don't hurt him," Eren growled through clenched teeth. "If you hurt him… don't you hurt him… or her either… no one… leave them alone."

The more and more that Eren talked the more that Rivaille could see his mental state was fracturing. Whatever was pulling strings inside the boy's head against his will it was gaining ground in the race for control. Soon the boy was seething, shoulders still pluming steam. The room was getting really hot and sticky while outside a silent war raged on.

"Eren," the corporal whispered again, reaching out and touching the boy's searing shoulder. Upon contact the man's finger sizzled, but it wasn't actually that hot. Without the constant stream of cold water, the man thought, he would probably be blistering in the heat.

"I'll kill you," Jaeger hissed. "If you hurt them… I'll kill you… every… l-last… one."

"Kid!"

Slowly the boy raised his soaked head and stared into the corporal's piercing eyes. Something painfully sad was coming through Eren's agonizing plea, the man could see that. Though, there wasn't much you could do. The only way to get a person to focus when they were convulsing through the waves of shock was yet another great shock. But what exactly could shock Eren Jaeger? "Get the fuck up, kid!"

One fist knocked across Eren's scalding face. The boy only turned back with a vicious look of anger while the man threw another blow. Again, the boy just looked at him with rage burning in his eyes. The pattern repeated until Rivaille felt there was no other option than the last weapon in his arsenal. "Goddamn it, Jaeger," the man snapped, grabbing the boy's face and crushing their lips together.

The boy's eyes bulged as Rivaille pressed the kiss deeper, the heat of Eren's mouth nearly burning his tongue. Eren's hand balled the corporal's jacket in his fist, eyes squeezing shut. His entire body was trembling in the corporal's arms until soon his convulsions stopped entirely. The steam faded away as Jaeger slumped back against the wall, eyes shut. The corporal wiped his mouth and sighed. "What am I going to do with you, you little shit," the man grumbled, sweeping the boy under his arm and standing. Eren was soaking wet, but at this rate, that was the very last of his worries. If they didn't figure out what was wrong with him soon something bad could happen.


	5. Chapter 5

"It has begun," the leader of the hybrids announced in a deep, gravelly voice.

Hanji watched as it turned sharply and began walking away with its two lurching subordinates slouching in its wake. _So it's you_, she thought, arms folded over her chest. _You're the one calling the shots. _Jean looked like he was walking on eggshells with his eyes turned to his commanding officer.

_How can you be so calm, _he wondered. _Unless… _

"Well, that was fun," Zoe announced loudly, grinning as if they'd won some sort of game. Jean dropped his blades and confronted the woman.

"Hah? They just stood there for an hour and left! That's basically laughing at us!"

Sharply the woman cast her steely gaze down on the boy, face still twisted in a smile. A hard shudder rocked down Jean's spine as he was met with a coldness from which he'd never seen outside of Rivaille's glower. She gave a soft chortle before turning her eyes back to the gates.

"Have you ever heard the phrase, 'Men wage battle, but women go to war?' Eh, Jean?" The boy watched her with a sudden wave of fear washing over him. Her voice had changed pitches, too.

"N-no," he stuttered, gaze never leaving her.

"Well, then," she beamed, "You're about to learn the definition."

Not a single word was wasted as she turned her own way and headed back to the castle, hands still tucked tightly beneath her arms. Sometimes it was better to be viciously ambiguous than to utter the plan aloud. God knows those hybrids probably had better hearing than a bat and sharper senses than any creature that roamed the earth. It was best to keep things very quiet for now. "Rotate the shifts," she called back to Jean. "It's gonna be a long night." Almost instantly a collective groan of frustration hit each of the stationed soldiers. Rotating double shifts? And just when they'd gotten used to sleeping under the corporal's eye. Damn it.

Humming a tune Hanji strolled down the hall with her fingers laced behind her back. So far, so good. At least, on the outside. Those things weren't coming to attack, they were coming to watch. Funny how those things worked, really. It seemed that only a handful of them had actual intelligence and leader skills. To rule over such a wild bunch you had to have a dispersed power group, so there had to be a minimum of three conscious hybrids, but no more than six. Though, their motivations seemed a bit vague, what they were after was clear as crystal.

"This kid spends more time asleep than he does fighting those big bad titans he always rants on about," Hanji sighed, finger pressed into her cheek as she tilted her head at the scene of Eren on the corporal's bed. "Shall we call him Sleeping Beauty?"

"How did you get this job, Zoe? You're so weird," Rivaille growled as he latched two handcuffs around Eren's wrists.

"Determination, motivation, and fascination," she smiled in a singsong voice. "Also, clean cuts and fast kills."

More like bribery and fear, the man thought as he attached the chain linked to the cuffs around bed frame and then finally latching it to an iron ring bolted to the wall. Uncanny that the corporal would choose the old holding cell tower as his personal room. Though, useful nonetheless.

Seeing that Rivaille was intending to take a while the woman dropped down into the old wooden chair and, again, balanced on the two back legs as her foot propped against the desk. Lazily the woman wove her fingers together behind her tied up mess of auburn hair as she eyed the man's work. If Eren so much as sneezed he couldn't recoil from the motion. Though, by just glancing at the boy, it didn't look like he'd be moving for a long time.

"Is this all necessary?" She asked from over the tops of her glasses. The corporal stayed quiet as he secured all the bonds with a lock much heavier than his hand. "Don't you think you'll scare him?"

Cold eyes looked over to Hanji, sending a chill down her spine as she lowered the chair so that she sat firmly on the ground. A deep breath inward and he was stepping back to survey the work. For now it would have to do, but he wasn't so sure about the future.

"Whatever's out there is too busy scaring the hell out of him up here," the man tapped Eren's forehead. "Have you gotten rid of the shits yet?" The woman shook her head with a sigh.

"But we've made some good discoveries early on," she grinned triumphantly, shaking her finger in the air. "There are those with intelligence that guide small packs. The others are pretty much titan through and through sans their stature and origin, as far as we know."

"So the ones that called the names…?"

"Are the ones hunting Eren," she nodded, her face masked with bright courage.

Rivaille couldn't find the image of her sniveling in fear of the monsters as they ripped each other to shreds any longer. She didn't have the same air as she had when she revealed Sonny and Bean to the class of observers, the woman that would cry if they screamed in pain. Seeing the threat to her stronghold it was almost as if Hanji had locked that part of herself away and fine-tuned her thoughts. When those monsters fell no experiments would be done and no remorseful tears would be shed.

Seeing her confidence, the corporal nodded in confirmation of her plans. The woman stood and began striding towards the door with a map of actions building in her head. Just as her hand reached the doorknob and she twisted, Hanji stopped. "Lance Corporal, sir?"

"Yes?"

"Whatever's after that boy… if you're ready to dispose of him like trash then I suggest you surrender him now." Her voice was cold as she looked out into the dark hall leading back down to the hallway. Rivaille looked down at Eren with a softness in his usually hard eyes, a sigh of confusion escaping him. Ever since the court had officially ruled Jaeger's life into his hands, something had stirred within him. At first it was irritation, but soon he was growing accustomed to the boy's firm smile and doting appreciation of him. Though he wasn't quite sure what that feeling was just yet, he knew one thing for sure.

"Arm this castle to its damn teeth," the man hissed.

"Sir," Hanji smiled as she shut the door behind her. It was nice to see the corporal protective of something again besides his weapons.

"_You're disgusting," a hissing voice growled at Eren as he wrapped his hands around the creature's thin neck and squeezed with the intent of snapping it. "Your hands are so weak you can't even stop my life." _

"_If I kill you… I can kill them all," Eren gritted, legs flanking the monster's black, slick body. "You can't hurt them if you're dead!" _

"_But how will you do that? I am you!" The thing spat, its face coming into the light. Sure enough his face was a mirrored image of Eren's but with sinister black and green-blue eyes. Its face was halved by the mashing teeth of a titan as it snickered. Seeing no other choice Eren plunged his hand into dark waters of his mind and pulled out a knife. "Ohohoh, careful. Die in your dreams and you can die in real life." _

"_That's the point!" _

"Ah!" Eren gasped, moving to sit upright but jumping at the tightness running across his chest, over his arms and legs. "Wh-what?"

"It's just a precaution," Rivaille explained, uncrossing his leg as he stood and walked over to the bed, hands pressing into posts at the end of the bed.

"I'm… not dead," the boy sighed, falling back against the bed as he closed his eyes.

"No…?"

The corporal watched as Eren seemed to stare off into space out of the corner of his eye, not sure if he wanted to be alive. It was strange to see him in such a state because he'd always shown such headstrong tenacity towards life and fighting, but now he'd almost given up. There had to be something more to this kid besides vengeance and obedience. If not then he was a pretty flat guy.

With one swanking sort of stride the man was sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed habitually as he stared at the boy's defeated expression. It was interesting to see how he'd almost given no thoughts to the chains or cuffs keeping him tightly bound to Rivaille's bed yet he seemed to be deeply contemplating something locked tightly in his head. "Eren, what did that thing mean when it said, 'Have a taste of your dreams,'?" Eren's head nearly snapped when he looked to the corporal, face burning a bright red. There's a reaction the he could work with.

"Don't know! I don't know what you're talking about," the boy shook his head. Of course you know, the man thought. You're reacting too much for you to not know.

"Shit," Rivaille glowered. "Jaeger, what did it mean?"

"I really don't know what you're talking about," he laughed nervously, still taking the road of denial.

"You're a shit liar, Eren. We both know this," the corporal narrowed his eyes, grabbing the boy's face by his cheeks and turning it up to his. "Do you…" But he stopped seeing just how frightened and embarrassed the boy was. Again, words weren't necessary with such an expressive face. "You do…"

"N-no!" The boy shook his head, fighting against the chains. "I mean… Wait, no!"

The shock of Eren's bright blue-green eyes against his flushed face was an intense contrast hidden behind a mess of dark brown bangs. In a nervous attempt to cover his face the boy pulled on his wrist bounds bolted to the bed. He tried opening his mouth, but it seemed as if the words were caught in his throat. It seemed that with being chained to the bead and all, there was really no getting out of the corporal's questions. "It's… it's nothing."

"Feelings for someone are nothing?" Rivaille cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowing. "That's a bit shallow, Jaeger."

"That's not what I meant," the boy said dejectedly. "I me-meant… what… the thing… what it was talking about."

"What, your 'dreams'?"

"Those."

"So your supposed feelings for _me_ are shallow and superficial. Well don't you just know how to make a person feel special, you little shit," the man growled irately.

"Augh, no!" Eren protested, face still a shade reminiscent of a tomato. "I just… I mean that… it's nothing you should worry about because… they're… u-unimportant."

"The dreams."

"Y-yeah."

Sighing in frustration Rivaille repositioned himself on the bed so that each of his hands was pressing into either side of Eren's chest. His eyes pierced right through the boy's slipping mask and straight into his true thoughts. It was easy to read. What the thing running around inside Eren's head had done was simply utilize his ulterior desires and use them against him so that his mental state would crack just long enough to gain control. Smart. Though, he'd left some big cracks in the mainframe by the looks of it. That, or given wake to a new side of the boy that could potentially give him another reason to fight back.

Thoughtlessly the corporal slid his hand over the boy's face and rested at his jawline, looking at him as if silently appraising an antique's worth. The boy was far from ugly and he was more than subconsciously willing, he was just humiliated to tears by something he had no reigns over.

"What does kissing me feel like?"

"C-come again?" The man leaned in close so much that Eren could feel his breath warming his, heart throbbing in his chest like an engine on overdrive. This was just too much in the same day.

"How does it make you feel, Eren?" The man whispered, running a hand through the boy's hair. "Like the monster inside… or human?" Right. Rivaille was clearly just giving him a shock to remember himself and fight the thing. There was no subtext nor was there anything to read into about the situation. Absolutely none.

"I-I… I…"

"When that thing jumped me and kissed me hard… was it really his doing… or yours?" _We have passed the point of too much right off a cliff! _Eren's thoughts screamed as the corporal ran a hand over the chains tightly wrapped from under the bed over his chest and back again. The boy nearly jumped from his skin as the man tightened a fist around the chain and pulled. "You can't run from me now, Jaeger."

_What is happening right now?! _Eren's thoughts blared like a siren.

"I-I-I… Ri-Ri…"

"When the government found out about you what did you plea to the court, mm?" The man hissed, turning Eren's face back to his again so that he wouldn't hide behind the shame. "More than you wanted anyone to believe anything else, what did you beg those potbellied, lazy merchants and soldiers to believe?"

It hit the boy like a ton of bricks as he stopped resisting the hold on his face. How he'd screamed at the futile generals and salespeople; he never needed to be heard so much than in those moments. Canons fired and hammers beat against wood in rejection of his words, but he'd still speak out in his favor.

"I'm human," Eren said in realization. The man smirked, grabbing the boy's face with both hands.

"And what does those dreams and feelings tell you? Titans don't have those."

"Th-that I'm human…"

"Bingo, you dense little fuck," the man smirked, patting the boy's face affectionately.

Nervously the boy began blinking, not sure what the close distance between his and the corporal's face truly meant. His heart began to throb in his chest as he yanked against his wrist bonds. Two inches between two people's lips was quite an intimate space. Rivaille could see these thoughts racing through Eren's head and sneered, retaking the tight hold on the boy's face. "Overthinking it again, are we?"

"No!"

"Then how come your face is so red?"

"It's summer. It's hot out," he answered quickly so not to give the man any space to read into anything.

"Good thing we didn't put you in the intelligence squad. Your lying skills are worse than Hanji's," the man snickered as he began closing the space between them at a painfully slow rate.

"C-corporal Rivaille!"

"Shut up," the man hissed, sliding his lips over Eren's.

Electricity shot through the boy as the man's lips parted his gently, coaxing a reaction from him. Before he had a chance to make even the slightest sound Rivaille's tongue closed off his mouth. The sensation almost made the boy jump through the chains, but the corporal had nothing to worry about. With those bonds he could take years if he wanted to.

From the position locked with Eren's lips Rivaille could see the struggle the boy was putting up. His hands were writhing in their cuffs over his hand painfully, aching to dig their nails into his shoulders. Between kisses heavy breaths and needy moans escaped the boy's lips as his entire temperament shifted beneath the man's grip. Soon it was getting harder to breathe, but Eren failed to find the will to fight.

When the man finally pulled away he could see Eren had long forgotten the thing battling for control. His face was flushed and his eyes were downcast in shame as he lost his focus. The less he thought, the more control he had. Tough, it seemed like he'd always been this thoughtless air head.

Like a snap back to reality did the sliding of chains ring through Eren's head. The corporal was untying him quickly and gathering loops of the metal bonds in his arms. Soon it was held in place by nothing but the ankle and wrist cuffs. The moment that they were unlocked Eren sat up on the bed and pressed his hands, balled into fists, on his knees. After setting the chains down Rivaille saw the boy's formal position and cocked a brow.

"What are you doing?"

"I-I'm sorry, sir!"

"Sorry?"

"For the trouble… I've been causing," he said earnestly, face still a deep shade of pink.

A heavy sigh escaped the man as he mashed his hand over the boy's hair and ruffled his thick brown locks. Eren's voice gave a gasp of surprise as Rivaille took a step back and folded his arms over his chest. "S-sir?"

"It isn't trouble. You're a part of this team, Jaeger. If you want to live, you've got to think. Well… actually… stop overthinking," Rivaille corrected himself, turning sharply on his booted heel and heading for the door. "Go ahead and sleep here. If you make any sudden movements you might be found out."

"Be found out? By who?"

But Eren knew he shouldn't have asked by the coldness in the corporal's eyes. He closed his mouth tightly and watched as the man left the room, shutting the door tightly. No sudden movements, huh? Well that shouldn't be too hard.

Sighing and seeing no way out of it, Eren fell back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Though he tried desperately to quiet his heart, it only pounded against his ribcage the more he thought about the heat of Rivaille's words on his lips. The boy rolled over on his side and covered his face. What had he started?

Outside Hanji was making rounds and checking in on everyone's stations. Though Sasha was looking a bit bleary-eyed Connie was on high alert. Jean was still parked at the front gate with eyes peeled wide for any movement. Petra and Armin were splitting their fields of vision so that one watched straight ahead and the other guarded the flanks. As for the others they were making sure nothing got through their defenses and messages were relayed from one station to the other. By the time that she'd made a full circle around the massive castle Jean was starting to falter under Rivaille's eagle eyes. The woman jumped in surprise at the man's appearance, but welcomed him on board nonetheless.

"Evening, captain," she beamed, Jean's face still tense and sweating as the corporal watched over him. Poor guy.

"Report, Hanji," the man said without taking his eyes off of the boy.

"Everyone's secured and no strange activity. I actually think they left for the night," she nodded thoughtfully, flipping a piece of her auburn ponytail between two fingers.

"We can't risk taking down the supports just yet," he murmured breathlessly.

Agreeing silently the woman walked over by Jean and relieved him of his position for a break. "Christa's got some cocoa brewing in the dining hall and there should be some snacks," she smiled warmly, the boy happily jogging off with a firm, "Ma'am!" in his wake.

Back in the cold, breezy courtyard Hanji plopped down onto the wooden crate Jean and refused to sit on. At night the castle wasn't so romantic and mysterious as it was hollow and intimidating, but with her back to it Zoe hardly noticed the looming aura circling the once regal home. Outside stars twinkled softly in the rich, blue velvet sky and the trees swayed gently in the breeze. If not for the chaos raging outside one could easily believe humanity had finally found peace in the form of silence.

Slowly the man's eyes found their way down over the Hanji's long hair and saw her neck was riddled with goose bumps. It wasn't all that cold, but she didn't seem her normal perky self either. So the sight had really gotten to her.

"Zoe," Rivaille whispered, returning his watchful regard to the gates.

"Sir."

"You know I won't let them get you… right?" Silently she nodded.

"Sometimes you can't fight fear, corporal… I know a lot of people don't think you're human. Hell, when you were hired on everyone was just as afraid and skeptical as they are about Eren…" She nodded, resting her forearms on her knees as she leaned forward. "But I know you mean well. Both of you. But even you get scared sometimes… right?"

"No, not really," the man lied, Hanji's lips parting in a smile.

"Of course not, sir," she chuckled. "I guess what I'm saying is that I… I really am fascinated by the titans, but… I don't want Eren to become that. And I don't want you to forget who he was… and how he changes you."

"Changes me?" Hanji smiled as if it was so obvious to everyone but the corporal. She turned her calm eyes up to him and laughed softly.

"The way you watch him… how you spoke of him in your room… he gives you something to fight for besides humanity, Rivaille. He puts a spark back in your heart."

The man took in a deep breath and looked back up at the sky. Did he seem any different than he normal was? Sure he was protective over Eren, but that was just because the boy was his charge… wasn't it? Though, Hanji locked her lips as she stood and went off to another set of rounds to tell everyone that there was cocoa. "Gotta let them take a break or they'll break," she called as she turned down to the side of the castle to find the soldiering stations.

Rivaille's sigh echoed through the expanse of stone as he stole Zoe's seat on the crate. He didn't really notice any particular change, but then again Hanji was pretty sharp for someone who acted so aloof. Maybe there was something shifting about him. Though, you never seem to notice your own progress, do you? Strange how that is.

Slowly the man turned his eyes up to the tower where Eren slept and wondered what exactly was going through his head. Probably what was he going to do about all this awkward tension mixed with why won't the voice in my fucking head shut up stop, or something along those lines. A disgruntled groan escaped the man as he ran a hand down his face and tried focusing on the gate. Even so, every time he blinked he saw the rosy cheeks of Eren as he refused to meet the corporal's eyes. "Shit."


	6. Chapter 6

"Morning," Eren smiled at Mikasa and Armin whose eyes were rimmed with a thick, sleepless shadow. Somehow he'd failed to pick up on their exhaustion, sparing no effort to try to stay positive.

After curling up on his side on Rivaille's bed he slept like a rock, not even dreaming. He woke with the sun and stretched out like a cat on the clean pressed linen sheets, blurring the bordering rated R thoughts from the night before. So much energy filled him that he even helped Christa, Connie, and Petra with cooking breakfast while keeping a watchful eye of the door so Sasha didn't have time to sneak in.

Now that everyone had settled and all the 3D Maneuver Gear was packed away it was time for rest and a hot breakfast. Armin slowly dug into the eggs, sausage, and toast, moving as minimally as possible so not to burn out any lingering energy he had left. Mikasa was nursing a cup of coffee and showing a real expression of pain as she rotated two fingers around her temple. She didn't handle all-nighters very well.

"Oh, look," Jean grumbled as he took his seat besides Reiner and Annie. "The ones who slept snugly in their beds have the gall to eat with the people who took watch all night. Sleep well, Jaeger?"

"Fantastically," he smirked chomping down on a sausage.

"Why you-!"

Before Jean had the chance to jump the boy Annie pinched the nerve on his shoulder close to the curve to his neck. The boy cried out in pain as his shoulders shrugged up tightly, the girl forcing him back down in his seat. Her cold blue eyes shot him a warning look and he muttered to himself indistinctly and crammed some of the toast into his face. Reiner smiled at the girl who only watched the rest of the table carefully. She was in no mood for anyone's shit that morning. Not after the night they'd _all_ had.

Hanji came lurching in eyes tired but face still holding a warm smile to anyone who looked her way. Seeing a few spots open on the bench by Eren and others the woman dropped down and laughed tiredly. Petra saw her and slid a large plate of food and a piping cup of coffee in front of her, affectionately rubbing her back as she returned to the line where others awaited hot meals.

"Morning, Jaeger," she slurred the words, rubbing her eyes before shaking pepper over her eggs.

"Morning, ma'am," he nodded, cutting his humor.

"Ma'am, shamam," she swatted the air as she took a gulp of the hot coffee. "The name's Hanji."

"Oh… okay, Hanji."

The rest of breakfast was eaten in silence as the team sluggishly recovered from the grueling night of staring into the darkness. By the time the sun had come up the entire troop felt painfully jaded with the glamour of the Survey Corps.

At the end of breakfast almost all of the soldiers filed back to their rooms and collapsed face first into the beds. The halls were scarcely filled with lurching soldiers, making sure that the HQ looked at least partially occupied while others caught up on missed Zs. If not for Eren's smile of slumber satisfaction any passerby could easily mistake the castle for a graveyard.

Two laps around the grounds and cleaning the horses' stalls proved themselves droll tasks and soon Eren was bored out of his mind. About the third lap around the castle his feet were bouncing with energy and it was hard to contain it. Occasionally his gaze would cross the tall trees surrounding the castle in billowing spires. With nothing to do and everyone asleep, it was enough to make a guy wonder. How many times had Rivaille led tactical practice runs through those thick forests? How many towering trees bore the proud pock marks the 3D Gear's anchors that had sank into the wood?

_No one's watching_, the voice snickered. _Just go for it_.

"Shut up," Eren hissed, walking towards the armory closet.

Inside hundreds of stored 3DMG sat on shelving besides piled gas containers and store blades. Large standing tanks of refill gas stood at a permanent steel salute by the window where clean pressed uniforms were folded neatly on the opposite wall. Without even checking, Eren grabbed a set of the leather straps and fitted them to his frame. While he fastened the buckles over his chest and thighs Rivaille's words of Survey Corps wisdom laced with subtext. It was truly a constant effort to keep the voice out of his mind. With two slips and tight tugs for security the knee-high, brown leather boots were fit snuggly."

_You're slow. No wonder people doubt you're humanity's savior. Move faster, you shit! _

"I told you to shut up!" He snapped, jerking his tan standard admissions jacket over his shoulders.

_Just think if someone walked by right now. You'd look pretty nuts._

"Who cares," he grumbled, wrapping the brown sash around his hips and securing it on his belt. "No one's going to walk by."

_You don't know what's out there, do you?_

Eren ignored the voice and latched the gear to his body, adjusting to the pressure of it against his thighs. Quickly he checked that there were six replacement blades in each side of the gear and that everything was working up to par. One tap of his heel against the floor and he was strolling back out into the courtyard, eyes set for the siren song of the breeze blowing through the massive trees.

Almost as if some moral obligation was stopping him, the boy jolted to a halt in front of the gates. It was a thin stone line and comparably flimsy metal gates that stopped him. Mikasa would have drug him back to his room and locked him up. Armin would have protested violently. Rivaille would have just cracked him over the head and tossed the boy over his shoulder. Thankfully it was just Eren and his replying thoughts.

_Oh, what the hell are you waiting for? MOVE! _

Without warning Eren's body stumbled forward, crashing into the gates and falling onto the dirt path. His body went rigid as he waited people to look out the windows of the castle, but it was as if no one was home. His green-blue eyes looked back and saw that nothing had been disturbed. Either the gate had made a sound smaller than Jaeger thought or everyone was truly sleeping like a bunch of bricks.

_Well? Get up! _

"O-oi!" Eren stammered as the voice kicked an electrical pulse into his muscles, forcing him forward. "Stop that!"

_You wanted something to do, didn't you? No, you wanted to see what's out there. What scared your friends to utter silence? It wasn't a titan, was it, Eren? You know what it was deep down, don't you? _

Grinding his teeth in defiance Eren strode forward on the path and fired the anchors into a tree, body jerking forward with gas-fueled propulsion. At first the motion was a shock shooting through Eren's body, but soon it became a natural motion, body rushing through chilling gales of wind as they cut through the forest. Every square inch of skin tingling with electricity, the boy threw his head back and let out a howl of delight, laughing as he connected with another tree and threw himself deeper and deeper into the forest, deafened by the sound of gas hissing from behind out of the back of the gear. It had been so long since he'd flown through the air so freely and left behind the constant glower of Rivaille's annoyances and Hanji's glittering fascination. For once it was good to harness some well needed mild abandon.

Rivaille sat up in his bed and looked around the room slowly. Something was off. Whipping the blankets back the man stood and pulled the door back. Just from the top of the stairs he could hear the castle was too silent. Except for that weird crash that had woken up. What was that?

Eren was slumped over as he crouched on a wide branch and caught his breath. His chest was heaving as he watched the world below. It seemed like he'd moved through the entire forest and then back around, but he could still see the clear path beaten down by horses and foot soldiers over time. Though, it didn't really matter. He was free and greedily sucking down the cool forest air, body invigorated by the rich smells of pine and dewy air.

_Nice, isn't it? Not to be confined like an animal. _

"You're an animal," Eren heaved, shoulders hunched as he listened for signs of life.

_I'm not the enemy here, Eren. The more you let all that frustration pile up the harder it will be to make a solid judgment. _

"The only thing I'm frustrated with is _you_!"

_Touchy, you little shit. Don't test me! _

Forcefully the boy's foot slipped out from under him, his body plummeting to the branch below. Eren choked as the wood smacked against his ribs like a solid belly flop. He coughed violently and spit up some blood, but soon the titan's body went to work repairing the damage. Carefully Eren sat up against the trunk of the tree and groaned, the voice in his head snickering with delight.

_So, tell me, you thick shit. What are you noticing? _

Slowly the boy raised his eyes and looked around. For once the voice was right. Something was seriously strange about that stretch of wood. Though the path had never veered in a strange direction there wasn't any life in the area. The breeze was slowing and the air was becoming painfully stale. The occasional bird twittering had died away and the world around him seemed almost dead.

_So, Jaeger. Brilliant savior to mankind, why's it so quiet? _

"I… I don't know."

"Hanji!"

"Sir," the woman slurred the word as the corporal pulled her upright off her bed and shook her awake. Her head whipped back and forth as she frantically reached for her glasses and threw them on her face, trying to focus on Rivaille's grimace. "Wh-what?!"

"Where's Eren!"

"Huh?!"

Soon the forest began humming lowly. Eren's nerves buzzed with nervousness as his body pressed closer and closer into the broad trunk of the tree. Below twigs and dry leaves crunched beneath the feet of things unseen as the growling drone grew louder. Titans were one thing, thugs another, but this was neither and the boy wasn't so sure he was ready for whatever was shooting around in the shadows, eyes glimmering in the faint darkness.

_You reek! What is that, fear?! _

"Shut up," Eren hissed, watching the ground below with sharp eyes.

_They'll find us anyway. You don't just smell of fear… you smell of the others. _

Pulse throbbing at Eren's temple, the boy swallowed his urge to scream at the constant throaty muttering of the thing inside his head. The crunching timber and slithering sounds grew louder like limbs being drug through the fallen pine needles filling him with dread. The sound was so similar to when the titans swung someone around like a ragdoll, occasionally taking a bite out of their dripping, limp corpse like a trail mix bar. Though, the thought of replacing a body oozing blood wasn't easily replaced by a granola bar.

Shallow breaths shook the boy's ribcage as he was nearly knocked off the branch by the sudden wall of disgusting smells that passed over him. It was a mix of rotting flesh and festering blood tangled with caked earth and bones. Choking on the air, Eren threw his hand over his face, eyes wide as he stared into the thicket of trees before him. Fear throbbed through his veins as his free hand dug nails into the bark of the towering tree, sweat drenching his shirt.

Below, the sounds of creatures unknown stirred. Growls mixed with spitting, hissing sounds filled the air like the stench and bodies stumbled into trees below. Fearfully Eren let his eye fall down to the ground where two of the beasts staggered forward, mouths hanging loose with bloody flesh running down their chins. One of them turned back and looked over its prey, an innocent deer that had crossed their path. The other grunted to move on, but the one crouching over the corpse looked enraptured with the sour smelling cadaver.

_Up here, you dinguses!_

"B-be quiet," Eren's lips mouthed, voice strangling in his throat.

_Idiots! Where are the others?! _

"Please," he hissed, tears burning in his eyes. He'd never seen anything like it.

_Don't worry. I won't let you turn into… well, that loathsome pack of pigs. _

"Stop…"

_I'll let you take first picks and I promise… I'll save that corporal for last. _

"STOP IT!"

Eren's scream echoed through the forest, the eyes of the monsters turning up and narrowing at his spot high above the ground. Instantly the boy's lungs squeezed tight as he sucked in the words he'd cried out, but the deed had been done. Like flies to meat, the monsters were scratching at the base of the tree, snapping blood jaws lined by a mouthful of too many teeth. _Titans, _he thought, taking back the idea as he saw they couldn't be much taller than he was.

_So close, but so far away. Are all humans this stupid? _

"You woke me up, didn't you?"

_I don't know what you mean. _

"Don't give me that singsong shit. When I was going to kill myself… you woke me up so I couldn't," Eren seethed, eyes sharp as he stared down at the angrily growling things below.

_Clever at last, Jaeger. And I thought I'd given up hope. Though, your multitasking is pig's slop. Behind you! _

Body tensing, the boy turned around and gaped. One of the monsters had been scaling the trees just as softly as the breeze, undetected as it hung silently inches from the boy's head. Its jaws dropped open as rolling plumes of rotted-flesh scented steam rose into the air, Eren's stomach lurching as the monster threw its head forward.

"Zoe!" Rivaille snapped, body turning to stone as an ear-splitting scream shook through the forest.

Hanji's body was overtaken by a shudder of unimaginable fear, eyes wide as dinner plates as the corporal looked out over the gate. No one in the castle would wake up as if locked in a fairy tale in someone's sick imagination. In the kitchen Petra and Christa had dropped onto the floor in a sudden wave of exhaustion. Some soldiers had even slid against the wall and crumpled into a heap of limbs, failing to stay conscious. What was going on?

The woman stood to her full height, stomach knotting with nausea from the images the scream had flashed through her mind. It was them. It had to be them. Cautiously she approached the corporal, hand on his stiff shoulder. She recoiled when she felt just how cold she was, and then she saw his face.

Eyes like the points of needles, teeth clenched as he balled his hands into tight fists. Usually the sight of a bloodied, comradely corpse couldn't rattle the man's cage and yet it seemed as if he'd never heard a more terrifying sound than Eren's scream. His throat shifted as he swallowed hard, forcing his feet forward and out onto the flat, trodden expanse before the castle. Just moments before a cooling draft had blown through the castle and yet it seemed so still now. Just as the man was ready to fire his gear forward the stench hit him.

"Oh… oh god," Hanji stammered, stomach heaving as she bent over into the grassy earth around the stone wall racing around the headquarters. Tears streamed her cheeks as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, spitting the bitter, acidic taste that flooded her mouth onto the remains of her breakfast. That's when she saw it. "C-corporal," she snapped, pulling the little papery flower from the pile of sick. She didn't have a moment to be disgusted. "I don't remember eating this."

The man looked at the flower, its thin petals wilting under the sudden exposure to the acid of Hanji's stomach. He'd heard about herbalists in books about a world long lost and how they'd used plants to trick the unsuspecting into taking remedies only to faint while the tricksters robbed them blind. It was more of a fairy tale, but the more that the week went on, the more likely it seemed.

"They wanted this… they weren't attacking last night… they were tiring us out so they could pull this shitty stunt to seal the deal. The entire legion sleeping like rocks…" Without finishing his thought the man turned to the path and fired the anchors, zipping forward and top speed as he hopped from branch to branch with little to no gas-support.

"Wake everyone up," Rivaille called from one of the branches with a view of the castle. "Punch them in the gut, purge their stomachs! Just make sure they spit up those flowers!"

"Sir!"

Panic racing through her Hanji turned back and sprinted to the castle. She stumbled across one of the sleeping guards and grabbed him by the collar and lifting him off the ground up to her face. She looked at him as his head lolled back, mouth open in a snore. His breath smelled faintly flowery and she knew everyone was suffering the same fate. When smacks to the face didn't do it, Hanji took the corporal's advice.

"Hah!" She screamed, ramming her right hook into the boy's upper abdomen.

With a jolt his eyes popped open and he collapsed onto his side, body forcing his stomach to pump out the food. Taking a step back the woman watched as the boy spat up the flowers, holding his side as if he'd never suffered through anything worse in his life.

"Wh-what…?"

"What's your name, kid?" She snapped, pulling him back up to his feet by the back of his jacket.

"R-Reiner, Officer Zoe, ma'am!" He stammered, loosely saluting her.

"Well, Reiner. Ever wanted to punch a lot of people in the stomach?"

"M-ma'am?"

"Did I stutter, Reiner? Move! Slap 'em around and if it doesn't work, knee them right in the gut! Get them to spit up these flowers," she tugged the cut remains of the bloom from Reiner's vomit. A twinge of disgust filling the young man, he fully saluted her.

"Ma'am, may I ask what's going on?"

"Operation Sleeping Beauty," she snickered, face darkening with delight. "Seems war has only just begun and we've got an attack on our home front. Whoever was in the kitchen and isn't sleeping is who you're looking for, Reiner. Now, go!"

Racing off towards the commons, Reiner really took in the icy silence around the castle as his boots echoed in the courtyard. What had happened and how long had it been?

Back by the gates Hanji was twisting the flower between her fingertips, sharp gaze narrowing at the browning petals. Something was strange about the way the light cut through its withering features and how haphazardly everyone had eaten the mysterious blooms. But that was just part of their plan, wasn't it? Tire them out so they don't notice the bigger, quieter blow.

"Mm… I can't tell if we're dealing with an apothecary… or a wicked witch," she murmured, stuffing the flower into her jacket pocket. "Our move…"

A fear like none other surged through Rivaille as he hastily propelled himself forward with hissing bursts of gas. Why in the hell had that thick-skulled kid thought it was a good idea to venture into uncharted territory with a backseat driver constantly telling him the wrong directions? This kid was supposed to be like a dog: obedient and faithful. For fuck's sake, he couldn't even obey a simple command of, "Don't fucking leave the wall so help me god!" Useless. But then why was he so afraid?

Another wide leap between trees and he saw Eren leaning against the trunk of a massive pine. The boy looked like he was sleeping, but something was different. Once Rivaille's footing got a firm grip on the thick branch the boy was slumbering on the details fit together.

Soaking his jacket and shirt was a sash of rich red, blossoming from a massive bite in his neck. Instantly reacting, Rivaille pressed his hand against the wound and felt for a pulse. There was throbbing and then there was draining, the clear determining factor between a body and a life. A brief reprieve from panic filled the man as he felt a lively pulse run through his palm.

"You little shit," the man swore. "Don't scare people like that!" Just for a moment Rivaille could have sworn Eren chuckled, but that wouldn't be right.

Having checked the boy's vitals the corporal looked around for the culprits, but the forest was dead. The smell lingered faintly in the air like the source had come and gone. Only a torn doe's body lie in the path below in wake of the monster that ended its life.

But there was that faint laugh again.

"Oh, look how scared you are," the rich voice sighed, smile curling up Eren's face as his head rose to see the look pricelessly plastered over his stoic disguise. "And you thought you'd gotten her just in time." The voice was dense like six different people talking in perfect unison. Eren's voice echoed from beneath the others, but the moment his bangs slipped away the man knew it wasn't him anymore. Not for now.

"You," Rivaille growled, grabbing Eren by his collar and jerking him close to his face, twisted in disgust.

"Funny how people just… _wolf _down a hot meal after a long night," he sneered, spitting out the flowers as they dropped onto the branch below with a sick plop. "Didn't figure he'd sleep so soundly, though. After all, he did just get a free tie-up and full French from your sweet ass." The man slapped Eren's possessor across the face, grabbing him by the hair and pulling him back again. "Like it rough, does he? Mm, definitely. Kid's all hot and tingly," the voice laughed in delight, rolling Eren's shoulders.

"You shut your fucking filthy mouth, you cretin!" Rivaille snapped, nailing the boy in the jaw with a solid right hook. It was a nice hit, but it was nowhere near the man's kick or knee blows.

"Bit ironic, corporal. Don't you think?" The thing snickered, spitting blood from between the boy's teeth. "Now, if I were you, I wouldn't damage the goods so much. He is kinda cute, isn't he?"

"Go to hell!" The corporal landed a fist into Eren's throat and the creature keeled over, hacking for oxygen as the coughing faded into laughter.

"Now, now. Don't deny it. You came _running_ when he screamed. Or is it flying?"

Fed up, Rivaille slammed the monster up against the tree, fists balled around Eren's bloody collar. His chest heaved with anger that seethed through his clenched teeth in the form of surging breaths. The dark eyes watched the man from above as he thought over what he should do. Eren would find some way to cut the lights if he hurt him, but at the same time, he endangered the entire operation. What to do, what to do?

"Get… out… of him," the man spat, dropping one hand and drawing a blade from its metal sheath on the gear.

Slowly Rivaille pressed the edge of the blade into Eren's throat, pushing the memory of his smiling face and confidence from his mind. If all he saw was that monster, if he blurred out the boy that was determined to kill the very thing that chewed at the bars of its cage rooted in his soul he could end it all. One smooth cut and his nightmare would be over… but then so would his life.

"I would, Rivi," the voice laughed wryly. "Oh, I would if I could. But you see… like the old war in a country far away… divided by a wall… the wall had to either come down or let one side die. Take a wild guess what your lover boy has chosen."

"Which do you want?"

"Mm? Oh, either guarantees me a front row seat to this costume party. If his will dies out, I win. If he submits then I win anyway," the voice chortled.

"And if you die?" Rivaille pressed the blade closer to the boy's neck, beads of blood blooming against the silvery sword.

"Which that won't happen… then you get him back."

"And if there is a truce and he wins…?"

"Which it won't," the monster spat the words, "then you get… him… back."

Soon the man was shaking, conflicted as he tried pushing the blade deeper into the boy's neck, but pulled back by his own interests. In front of his entire country, the one he'd sworn to protect so long Irwin was heading the battle, he'd avowed to end Eren's life if his humanity was ever compromised. Though, seeing the stalemate now, it seemed that it was truly Rivaille who'd become compromised. The creature sighed.

"You…"

"Alright, alright. You're such a bore. Deal with your petty, pent up frustration with him later. Besides, he's waking up," the monster smirked. "Get your sappy confessions out of the way before we meet again, Rivi. I can't stand such a stalled plot line."

Eren slumped forward in the man's grip, his deadweight suddenly dropping against the man's arm. Grunting Rivaille pushed him back upright and let the boy's head loll around lazily as his eyes slowly fluttered open. The sunlight hit his green-blue eyes, the whites of his eyes just so. He let him go… he let him go?

"Corporal," the boy breathed, body still weak from the bite.

Upon further inspection Rivaille could see that the blood was turning dark and not in the way it does when it's clotting around a cut in the skin. Eren began sweating and turning pale like a fever was burning through him. The wound was festering.

"Oh, no you don't. Not after the hell I've been through to keep you alive!"

Rivaille ducked and shouldered the boy's weight, looking for a way to get to the ground safely. Not a chance. Cursing beneath his breath he set Eren back down between his legs as he scooted so that his back pressed against the trunk of the pine. There wasn't time to get him back to the castle and there wasn't really a safe way to get him to the ground without knowing if the monsters had retreated. Even so, they weren't much safer still positioned where the creature that had attacked Eren could reach them. For now, sitting tight was the best option. "Jaeger, you're starting to make me think you're more trouble than you're worth," the man growled, tilting his head aside and looking at the bite.

Maroon had oxidized to something almost black like tar bubbling in his neck. The sight of the wound made the man's stomach squeeze, but he couldn't just let it spread or Eren would die. A deep breath of readying and Rivaille sank his teeth into the boy's neck. Like biting into a grape a mixture of festering blood and pus filled the man's mouth, immediately sending his stomach flipping. He threw his head to the side and spat the secretions as they burned his mouth and filled it with an unimaginable taste. Looking back as the boy fought the fever, Rivaille saw no other choice. He bit right back into the wound and sucked hard, the thick discharge filling his mouth once again. He turned, spat, turned, bit, sucked, and repeated until his head was buzzing. The corporal scraped the top of his tongue with the teeth and spat the buildup on his tongue out before turning back and drawing another mouthful of the exudation from Eren's neck.

Slowly the boy began regaining consciousness, his face red with a strange sensation throbbing through his neck and down his spine. Dizzy with fatigue the boy tried focusing his eyes. He was still on the branch, so that was a plus. There was a hand softly caressing his neck, but still holding a firm grip on him. Another hand pulled his shirt collar and jacket away from his shoulders while teeth bit into his neck. A hand came over his mouth as the feeling solidified in mixed waves of pleasure and pain.

"Ngh…" Eren clenched his teeth, tears burning at the corners of his eyes.

The corporal spat another mouthful of the poison off the side of the tree before he saw the wound weaving itself back together. He sighed heavily, resting his head on Eren's shoulder. Thank god he didn't have to take another gush of that bitter, revolting crap into his mouth. Another round of it and he didn't think he could try saving Jaeger after all. It was getting to be just too much.

"Haa… Oi," the man flicked the back of the boy's neck. "I know you're awake, you little bastard."

"Uh… I don't… know…"

"The big and bad took your meat suit for a joyride!" Rivaille snapped, tilting Eren's head back so that he could see his face. The moment he saw the boy's flushed cheeks and glossy look in his eyes it hit him. "Oh my god… you were _enjoying_ that, weren't you?!" Eren didn't have time to say anything before the corporal was snapping at him, face slightly pink. "You were getting off while I drained your stupid ass of god knows what! Do you even want to see what I was getting out of you while you were living your fantasies up front? That's sick! It looks like a dog drug you in its teeth and then shit on you! What's wrong with you?!" Though none of the man's reaction was very convincing with his blushing face and balled fist.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know what was going on! And what do you mean what it looks like?! What happened?"

"What? You're telling me you don't remember shit? You're worthless, Jaeger!" The man growled, smacking Eren over the head several times before a call from the scout troop broke their moment.

"Corporal? Eren! Oh, thank god you're alright!" Hanji laughed, firing two anchors into the branch above them and landing just as gracefully as a baby giraffe on skates.

Once the woman got her bearings she laughed shamefully as the others swept in from behind her, looks of shock mixed with relief on their face as Rivaille wiped his mouth clean on the sleeve of his jacket. No need to stir up more fear than there already was. The entire headquarters was surely shaken up and they had defense holes you could drive a horse cart through at this rate of mental dissolution. But for now, a moment of victory.

"Was everyone successfully woken?"

"One good drop kick to the gut and they were right as rain!" She laughed, the others cradling their sides with looks of pain crossing their faces. "Eren, how's our little trooper?" Nervously the boy gave a nod and she turned to the corporal, eyes saying something else entirely.

_He's okay, right? We don't need to chain him down again, do we? I won't take any part in that, Rivaille. _

_It's fine… for now. _

"Excellent," Hanji smiled to herself, noticing the sick look on the corporal's face. "Something wrong?"

"Petra," Rivaille called, the girl looking up sharply.

"Sir!"

"Is there water in your canteen?"

"Huh?" The strawberry blonde looked down and her side and saw her canteen swaying in the breeze, fresh and lively as the morning. She lifted it and sure enough it was filled to the top. She nodded.

"Petra, if you value your right hand you will throw that bottle over right now," the cast a dark look over her, the canteen instantly leaving her hands and flying into the corporal's lap.

Everyone watched as he spun the cap off and chugged the water, swishing it around in his mouth and spitting the residue of the festered blood and pus out. Eren jumped as the man threw the rest of the water back and gulped it down. He shuddered at the faint aftertaste still lingering in his mouth, but it was a definite difference from clotted blood stuck in his teeth.

Hanji pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, face white with disgust as she shook the feeling off. Turning back, the woman directed the search party to head back while she stayed behind to speak with the survivors of the unspeakable.

"So, tell me, Eren Jaeger," she smiled, eyes cold. "Are you so stupid all the time?!"

"Ehehe…"

"Enough, Hanji," the corporal swatted her anger from the air as he staggered to his full but far from intimidating height. "Let's just go back and get this bloody pile cleaned up," he jabbed a thumb at Eren who was, without a doubt, a mess of blood and sweat. Agreeing silently, the corporal shouldered the boy's weight while Zoe zipped off, shouting an excited, "Whoooo," into the forest.

"But really, don't do something that fucking stupid ever again," Rivaille snapped, firing the gear's anchors into a branch of a tree and swinging forward with the boy on his back.

While Eren hung tightly clung to the corporal's back he rested his head against the short man's strong shoulders. It was warm and strong, a comforting feeling he'd not felt since his father had held him when he was small. It was a rather ironic feeling considering Eren was so many inches taller than Rivaille, but the sensation was still the same. However, something more intense lingered in the innocence of that comfort. It was like a dense, melodic metaphor that enveloped a great story; its rich, lustful center at the heart of a fated love. But, again, for now, a small victory.

_Don't get too cozy, Jaeger… you haven't won just yet. _


	7. Chapter 7

The moment Eren stepped across the threshold of the infirmary Mikasa tackled him in a hug. Her eyes were rimmed in red as she'd been angrily crying, swearing revenge on the beings that could incapacitate her so effortlessly. Armin waved nervously from behind the girl, sitting on the bed while Christa was checking his mouth for remains of the flowers. So far they'd only found the stems and buds wedged between the molars of Sasha, but seeing the volume of food she consumed it wasn't really a surprise.

After the girl parted from her indebted friend she saw just how messy he was and her face drained of all collar seeing so much blood running down his shirt and staining his white uniform pants. "Shit, Jaeger," Jean smothered a laugh from behind a cupped hand. "What the fuck?"

"Can it, shriveled dick," Rivaille barked, the boy's face burning red as Connie choked down his own giggles. The corporal was harsh, but he had his shining moments when his brashness was perfectly in-step. "Get out."

Rivaille leaned against the counter in the infirmary and folded his arms over his chest. He scanned his stare over the bunch in the room and looked at them as if he were surprised they were still there. Slowly he moved his gaze over to the door, back to the new recruits, to the door, and then snapped his fingers as he pointed to the door. "Now."

Like scattering ants the recruits rushed from the room any way they could get out. Sasha even went so far as taking the window. Once the room had cleared Eren slumped on one of the beds while Hanji looked the sliding door behind the last of the people to leave, her eyes darkening as she pressed her back into the pane of glass in the door so that no one could look in.

"Now," she nodded, pushing her glasses up onto her hair so that her bangs were pinned back to her head. "I'm going to clear the air out there, but you and the corporal've got some serious things to talk over." And with that the woman unlocked the door and walked out, calling orders down the hall. Rivaille left not a moment between the time that she'd left for people to meander in. One firm click and the door was locked tight.

Reaching into a drawer the corporal pulled out a clean tunic and some extra white pants, tossing them at Eren. He motioned for him to chance while he settled himself the rolling chair by the nurses' desk. The man tried making it as unobvious as possible that he was letting his eyes wander while the boy stripped down to his blood-stained underwear.

"You should take those off," he pointed to them, Eren's face turning bright pink. "The blood on them was infected."

"So, what? You expect me to go without underwear?" Eren retorted, eyebrow arched challengingly.

"In this stage of the game, that's _really_ your biggest concern?" The man deadpanned. Grumbling vainly the boy shed the last piece of clothing clinging to his skin and made sure not to turn around until he was fully clothed.

_Oh, what a shame. Flash him, you tease! _

"Damn it," he groaned, mentally suppressing the voice.

"It's back?"

"Yeah," the boy sighed, tugging the clean tunic over his head.

"You ever try putting a muzzle on it?"

"It doesn't have a tangible body outside my own. I've tried killing it, but it woke me up," the boy muttered, thinking back to how he was ready to end it all with just one slice. So easily he would cut his life short of all his vengeance just to save a few. It seemed so out of character for him, but it was necessary. At least, it seemed so at the time.

"So you tried killing yourself."

"Just in my sleep," Eren nodded, turning and sitting on the bed. Before he had a chance to reply Rivaille had a tight grip on his face. He seemed to like that, pulling people's full attention.

"You're worthless to me dead, Jaeger," the man narrowed his eyes coldly, dropping the boy's face and slumping back into the chair.

"Oh, so when did I become property?" Eren spat, blood boiling.

"I never said it was of monetary value. God, you're stupid," the man hissed, crossing his legs and folding his arms over his chest. Everything about his body language exuded the fact that he wasn't open for sharing, but this meeting wasn't about feelings. "For record only, what did you see?"

Eren raised his head, blue-green eyes sharp and fearful as his head flickered with images of the bloody monsters and the dead doe. Their teeth mashing fly-drawing flesh as they staggered on, looking for something that would only prove to be himself. Then the mouth that drew wide with rancid steam, sinking rotted teeth into his neck and—that was sort of the end of what he could remember.

After recounting the argument with himself and matching events up with Rivaille's memory, things got pretty quiet. No one really wanted to talk about the gruesome sights of either the hybrids gone awry or Eren's blistering, festering neck. Though, they couldn't quite leave things as they were. The loose ends weren't tied and their edges were fraying fast. It was the corporal who first cleared the air.

"So," he coughed, running a hand through his thick black hair. "What the hell's been going on with you?"

"Going… going on?" Eren blinked, shocked by the harsh man's sudden interest in him.

"How's your head? You haven't been conscious this long in days," he growled, folding his arms tight over his chest once again, seal himself off.

"Oh. I guess… normal?" Just by the way the corporal knitted his brow together Eren could tell he'd answered wrong. He jumped as the man narrowed his piercing eyes at him.

"You've got someone antagonizing you constantly in your head and using your body for various bouts of mayhem and you're telling me things are fucking _normal_?"

"I mean… he's quieter lately, so that's good. And I think I'm getting more control over him!"

It was sort of sad, the way Eren tried insisting on him being so okay, but that's what he had to do, wasn't it? Protect his friends and be strong when everyone else was drowning in doubt. If he didn't offer them a hand to pull them back into hope, what would he do? There wasn't time to go catatonic in a constant battle with something raging war inside and out.

_You're a liar. You're slipping. You're slipping and I can feel it. _

_Shut up… _

_Oh… oh, is that…?_

_I said shut up. _

"Really?" Rivaille muttered flatly, clearly unconvinced.

"Yeah! I can't even hear him right now. Maybe he's gone," the boy nodded again, acting too cheerful to be himself.

_You're… Oh, Jaeger, that's cute. _

_Please be quiet… just shut up. _

The corporal stood up and pressed his hands into Eren's shoulders, eyes softening just a bit as he looked through him. The boy sweat nervously as he felt those eyes read him like a book. No, he'd keep up the fight. So long as he kept denying it, no one would have to know.

_You're not keeping him out because you don't want him to know…_

_Shut up!_

_You're keeping him out because you love him! _

_Enough! Stop! _

"Eren…"

"Ngh!" The boy cringed as Rivaille's arms enveloped him in a tight hug. His face was pressed into the warmth of Rivaille's chest, his thoughts blurring into static. "What…?"

The moment seemed to stretch on into eternity. In the heat of the infinite moment Eren caught the throbbing of Rivaille's heart, its pulse taking a hike in speed as his hand wove fingers through the boy's thick brown hair. Soon the two were impossibly close, the boy taking in the rich scent of lavender soap and pine embedded in the man's skin. Warmth radiated from the man's chest, a definite shift in character from his normally cold façade.

"No you're not," he muttered, his voice rattling inside Eren's head.

"Wh-what?" The boy breathed.

"You're not okay. Every soldier is as strong as they ought to be… but they're no good when they bottle everything inside," Rivaille soothed, letting his hands fall away from the Eren's hair. "Even Hanji has days were she can't see the bright side of things."

For some reason those words seemed to sound like they were echoing inside a cave to the boy. His hair fell over his eyes and he could feel the darkness encroaching around his irises, extremities numbing like ice as he reached up and gripped the back of Rivaille's jacket. Eren's teeth clenched as he pressed his forehead into the man's toned stomach, fighting each action the thing writhing inside him attempted. "Is he trying to take over?" Eren nodded. "Remember what I said to you?" He shook his head. "If you want to live, Eren… think. What makes you human?"

The corporal's voice was so soft and patient. It was so brash, curt even, when talking to everyone else, but now it seemed so gentle. Rivaille's voice was like the ocean lapping at the dense sandy shores inside Eren's head. His voice came smooth, less critical and nothing like the man who'd rammed his knee into the boy's face at a court hearing. It image that was assumed to be their first meeting was foreign while the boy dug nails into the khaki jacket, teeth grinding as he remembered what made him human as he so eagerly claimed to be.

The first wisps of fall in the air in the form of smoky smells and cooling breezes called him out of his home. His mother would fuss that he wasn't dressed enough and that he should take a scarf. Eren would always protest that he refused to take it away from Mikasa, though the girl wasn't going to hand it over even _if_ he wanted it. Naps in the warm, temperate sun beneath the stout, shady tree that stood proud over the rolling, wildflower-dotted knolls just outside Shinganshina filled the afternoon. The way the tall chive blossoms and poppies ticked his cheeks as he rolled over, the smell of fresh, damp earth filling his nose as he dreamt.

Armin and Eren would walk the streets of their home, talking about the impossibly large expanses of water and land that lay far beyond the walls, Mikasa scanning the crowd for any trouble. They would stop at a book shop were the blonde boy would eagerly ask if his book had come in. The tall, lanky man that owned the shop would smile, nod, and offer everyone hot cider to battle the bitter cold outside. What kid could refuse a warm drink and a cozy nook? Spirals of pluming steam scented with star anise, cinnamon, and clove would delight the children's senses as the watched their friend's brilliant blue eyes light up like the summer sky at the sight of the full color sketches and paintings of what was the world in the past.

Human was the suffering they'd all shared, watching people scream and mourn over lives ended so suddenly. Their memories were scared by smeared blood and stumbling, speechless monsters that ate the innocent, only to regurgitate them like their taste was sour. The pain of their legs burning in practice at the corps training camp and how they shared meals, stories, and laughs distracting them from the fear made everyone around them human. Eren had shared all of those feelings and yet… he felt so distinctly distant from it all.

"Jaeger," Rivaille whispered, pulling the boy's head back to face him by the hair near the nape of his neck. "Fight it… if you want to live, fight it! Remember what makes you human!"

The boy's lungs burned as he took in shallow, painful breaths, eyes consumed by the signature darkness that the monster's soul was scratching at his consciousness in an effort to break free. He squeezed his eyes shut and remembered again.

Embarrassment; Eren's heart had throbbed at the sight of the corporal wearing nothing but his leather uniform straps. His face had burned and he'd froze up like a tactless teenage boy, just who he was. He wasn't a monster ready to attack innocent, local fauna or the locals themselves. He wasn't some animal driven by god-knows-what motives because he felt something more than insatiable hunger for something that could not fill the void. What he was, though, was a typical, human, teenage boy with problems coming to terms with his emotions, but what else is new?

The heat of a passionate kiss and a faint flickering of something deeper than a puppy crush was human. The way Eren had fought against his chains trying to dig his eager nails into Rivaille's shoulders was the indulgent drive of someone in love, not an animal ready to demolish life. Humanity was love, passion, and mercy, everything that twisted, gory creature taking up resident inside his head lacked.

Slowly the darkness thicker than night like shades of black silk faded out of view, Eren's field of vision blurred as he blinked slowly. Soon the image of Rivaille's face came into sharp focus as the demons receded with a low, submissive growl.

"Eren?"

"Nn?" The boy asked, tilting his head a little.

"You can let go of me now," the corporal narrowed his eyes, the boy's face burning bright red as he realized his hands were still tightly gripping the man's shirt.

"O-oh, God!"

The man watched the boy jerked his hands away and became flustered. His face turned pink as he tried to figure out what to do with himself, but Rivaille didn't mind. He sighed, mashing his hand over the kid's head of hair and ruffled it, whisking it away quickly.

"I have to go see how Hanji's clearing the air on this, I mean, you did come in the front door a damn mess. Lunch will be in a little while, but tread lightly," he warned, turning and unlocking the door. "Just keep remembering, Eren… what it is that makes you human." The boy's eyes widened as he watched the corporal shut the door behind him.

_What makes me human? _

Suddenly all the images of him kissing Rivaille flooded the front of his mind. _No, no, no! _He screamed in his thoughts, covering his face in shame as he felt the creeping heat of a blush crawl up the back of his neck and around his face. He stood and paced around the infirmary, smacking his head so that he could think about something less rousing than being chained to a bed with Rivaille mercilessly guiding him down a deeper, darker path of self-doubt and confusion.

Once he'd managed to clear his head he looked at himself in a mirror over the sink. His neck was lined by a faint crescent moon scar that wrapped around his neck to a paralleled scar. He'd felt a shooting pain like he was being torn apart, but he'd blacked out almost as instantly as it had happened. It had felt like needles running through his veins followed by a titan-like heat and nausea. Now it seemed so strange that it felt more like a dream.

_One of the leader's lackies took a chomp out of you, _the voice echoed in his head.

"Why won't you die?"

_Why won't you? _

"Because I have a reason to live!"

_What, and I don't? Eren, why do you keep screaming in Death's face that you want to live? _

"Because… I have to save them… if they die…" The boy faded, throat choking up as he looked at his frailty in the mirror. He wasn't strong enough to take Armin out in that moment, let alone an entire species of blood-thirsty monsters with boundless energy. "Please… please just go away."

_Tch… Whatever. _

A few deep breaths and a tight grip on the edges of the sink and the voice was gone, dormant until the next time he let his guard slip, but it was fine for now. He stood tall and looked at himself again. The color had returned to his face and he didn't look sick anymore. Satisfied with how he appeared Eren turned and walked out of the infirmary, noticing everyone had already filed back to the dining hall for lunch.

The doorway to the hall was tall and arched at the top with a sharp angle, cornerstone proudly displaying the old owner's family crest. Inside people were scrupulously inspecting their sandwiches for bits of the mysterious flowers. So far Petra examined the construction of each without blinking, assuring the food wasn't contaminated.

Everyone had settled at the table with filling sandwiches and cold drinks—considering they were all forced to regurgitate breakfast, everyone was a little hungry—and watching as Eren took a seat next to Mikasa on one of the benches. She stared at him for a while, neglecting her food, and making sure he was okay. Immediately her eyes turned to the scars on his neck and her heart dropped into her stomach. Every second she was conscious after the silent, slumbering attack she cursed herself for letting him out of her sight and now seeing the consequences she only felt that much worse. Armin could sense her anger and self-torment, coughing to clear the air of the less-needed tension.

"So what did you and the corporal talk about?" He nodded, taking a bite out of the turkey and Swiss he'd ordered.

"Just…" Eren began, thinking back and cramming the urge to spill the details, but simultaneously lock everything up down his throat. He couldn't turn red as a beet or twitch, not a frown or a smile could be shown. It was military business and any out of character behavior could have any one soldier questioning your intent, and by any one soldier, Eren only thought of Jean. "What I saw," he nodded at last, a faint, reassuring smile crossing the boy's face.

"And what did you see?" Mikasa urged, her eyes flat and cold as always. Though, their murky brown depths seemed to be holding a more fiery drive behind them.

The pressure was on. If he said nothing, she would ask about the scars, he was sure of that. Her eyes looked down over them at least every thirty seconds. If he said he saw something inhuman, she would be afraid of him becoming that and he didn't need her sharp skills dulled by worry. Now that he was taking so much time his answer was all the more anticipated. Seconds ticked away like hours as sweat gathered at the nape of his neck, dizziness clouding his mind. "I…" He began, but he was at a complete loss for words.

"Eren!" Hanji called loudly, slapping him on the back as she plopped down in the seat beside him. "You look sick! You sure you got yourself checked out at the infirmary?" The tall woman gave a knowing smile and dug into her sandwich, winking. Eren gave a sigh of relief before taking a bite out of his own lunch. "What a morning, huh?"

"Tell me about it," Connie groaned, still holding an arm across his stomach as if fearing another sharp blow to his gut by Hanji's signature right uppercut.

"Oh, don't be such a whiner, newbie. The real fun's only just began," she smirked, glasses shining like she had another twisted idea forming in her head to which no one was interested in inquiring.

Late that day it was announced that night watches would be rotated by split squads each led by a different member of Rivaille's group. "They set us up for exhaustion and then preyed upon our recklessness. To leave a hole in our plan that large is unheard of," he growled at the assembly. He divvied up groups and left Eren with the internal security. "Letting you outside the walls of the castle could lead to an incident similar to this afternoon," the man murmured in private as he oversaw Hanji's directing.

"But what about the others?" He imposed, nervously watching Mikasa and Armin stand in separate groups.

"What about them? Mikasa's a good soldier, but she's no titan. Losing you would be a far greater loss," he narrowed his eyes, turning and walking back down the hall.

The moment she saw that the corporal had let his piercing gaze leave Eren Mikasa rounded the corner, locking him against the wall. Red scarf dangling around her neck, she searched the boy's face for some kind of answer, mind working around why he was keeping so many secrets. It was much different from when he hit puberty, that was garishly obvious, but this was something major.

"Eren," she hissed, arms pressing into the wall on either side of the boy's shoulders. "Eren, what are you hiding?"

"Hiding?" He blinked, hoping not to seem so obviously guilty.

"There is an attack hunting you down and you don't seem yourself," she elaborated, eyes narrowing. "Eren, if there's something going on, please… just tell me."

It felt horrible keeping something so dark from her, but he had no choice. Sharing information could be dangerous and the very last thing Eren wanted to do was endanger Mikasa after all she'd done for him. He reached out and held onto her arm, eyes downcast as he pursed his lips tight. She looked at his face, paled by secrets and felt a cloud form over her heart. Why couldn't he just share whatever he was holding inside? "Eren," she whispered, smoothing her own hand up his arm and to his shoulder, giving it an assuring squeeze.

Slowly Eren nodded, but gave her a look that could speak a thousand words. His blue-green eyes screamed guilt and the urge to tell all mixed with fear and shame. She'd only seen that look once before after he'd woken up from his first transformation while the steady, small army of blades awaited his answer. She let her own hand fall away as she tugged the scarf closer to her face. She, too, nodded, stepping back and staring at the ground, lost for words. She knew she couldn't force an answer from him, but she was at her wits ends. Even Armin couldn't think of why he was hiding something. That's why he'd asked her to go and find out.

"Jaeger," Rivaille called from the entrance of one of the side halls branching from the main corridor.

Eren looked up and called back a stiff, "Sir," before trotting off, pins and needles scratching at the back of his neck as he felt Mikasa's eyes bore into him. He dared not look back as he joined the corporal's side and followed him through to the other side of the covered path.

_I want to tell you so much, _he murmured in his head. _Please… Understand. _

Night fell like a blanket flapped over the crisp, blue sky, beaded stars twinkling against the rich tapestry of space. Eren had spent most of the day silently meditating on the smell of summer naps and the heat of a first kiss, always toeing Rivaille's quickened pace. Though, it wasn't hard to follow considering the man's stride was half of Jaeger's. Soon the voice of the creature within began muttering indistinctly, prodding him with a constant barrage of inquiries, shattering the internal calm.

_Oi, Eren, _the voice growled, his ears tuned to the droning of crickets and the cool breeze.

_Mm? _

_What's it feel like outside? _

_What do you mean? _

_You've got control, you thick oaf. I can't feel shit. I can only second-guess what human sensations feel like. _

_Oh… well… it's nice out. Cool and… I don't know, it's just peaceful. It's… _

_Ironic? _

_Yeah… _

"…ren… n… en… _Eren_!" Rivaille snapped, looking at him in a brutally suspicious way that cut through the peace like a knife through warm butter.

"S-sir?"

"Is it him?"

_What, I don't get a name? _

Eren nodded, sighing as he stood at attention, blue-green eyes carefully watching the gates. "Is he pestering you?"

_Since when is conversation pestering?! _

"Not really," the boy shrugged, still attempting to quiet the voice.

_You're damn right I'm not. Hehe, not _yet_. _

_Ha! You're a nuisance! _

_Nuisance?! I'll show you a goddamn _nuisance_! _

Like a reflex Eren's feet slipped out from under him and he cracked his head against the cobblestone courtyard. He groaned as he stood up, blood running down his face. After he'd wiped it away he saw that the cut had already healed. Okay, so being a hybrid had its perks.

_How's _that_ for a nuisance? _

_Pest. _

"Augh!" The boy snapped, his hand slapping his face. "Would you quit it?!"

_Oh, I'm sorry. Am I bothering you, Jaeger? _Another slap and a flick to the eye and the monster had Eren's blood boiling. He ground his teeth as he punched the shadowy figure the voice had taken in his head, sending it reeling. With a growl of anger it lunged back, claws and endless teeth bared liked a mad dog. Soon they were rolling around in the confines of his mind, screaming profanities of varying degrees back and forth at each other.

However, on the outside, this didn't look so normal. Eren was screaming at himself and occasionally kicking himself in the ass, throwing punches into his own stomach, and staggering backwards like a drunk as he mentally grabbed the voice by the throat. Even the corporal was a bit stunned at the display. Hanji could only watch from a distance with a confused, but humored look. She couldn't have paid for better tickets to the best comedy show than to watch this showdown.

"Why won't you just die?!"

_I'm stuck here, you thick shit! _

"Thick?! Why don't you say that to my face!"

_I'm in your goddamn head! And _yes_, you're thick! _

"I'm not gonna sit here and take this!"

_You have no choice you brainless shit! _

The voice jerked Eren's hand up and slapped him so hard his face whipped to the other side. Rivaille choked down a laugh as the thing in the boy's head slapped him like—for lack of a better word—a little bitch. Before long it was getting to be too much to hold down and the man was turning away, keeling over and clutching his knees in a hearty laugh.

"Why you-!" Eren roared, his legs going numb as he collapsed, body slumping forward. The laughs were over.

Fluidly his body rose up again, still leaning back on its haunches as the boy's new proxy driver cricked his neck and sighed. A deep breath in and he grinned. Almost like a ragdoll he stood to his full height and pushed his hands proudly onto his hips, grinning stupidly. "You know, I could _really_ get used to this shit. He's fun to beat up," the deep, mingled voices laughed. "Damn… I sound fuckin' weird. Mm, gotta fix that!"

Rivaille watched in apprehensive confusion as Eren's new voice twisted into several different tones and genders until it found his own again, clearing his throat and testing the sound. "This is what he sounds like, right?" With the creature's voice now parroting Eren's the only difference in him and the boy was their _striking _personality differences and the eyes. "Mm… sounds cute. Do you ever wonder what he sounds like when he orgasms, Rivi?" The man's face went nervously pale with sweat running down his throbbing temple. That would be a clear yes. "Ooh, if you're so impatient I can give you a little sample," the voice snickered, opening Eren's mouth.

One swift lunge forward and the corporal slammed his fist up into the boy's ribcage, the creature stumbling and coughing, hand bracing his chest. He keeled over onto his hands and gasped, blood spattering the ground as he slowly drew in ragged breaths. The moment his lungs recovered the thing stood back up, slowly as if he'd been down for the count some time. "Not keen to having the staff you rule under an iron fist knowing you wanna tap this?" The thing gave Eren's backside a sensual touch, winking at the man seductively.

"No… I think Eren might actually kill himself if you ever follow through with these things," the man stiffened, teeth clenched as he turned and watched the gate where his eyes widened to the sight of Hanji collapsed over in a high pitched laughter much like a monkey. The moment this guard shift was over he'd surely scalp her.

_I swear to God the moment I get control back! _The boy screamed internally, voice cracking in shock.

"Yeah, Yeah," the titan soul swatted the air as if clearing it of Eren's nagging. "Sit tight, pretty boy. Bitch squad at twelve o'clock."

Sure enough when the corporal looked up there was one of the creatures casually walking up the gates, hands empty at its sides. Hanji's squad neared cautiously with blades ready, but it didn't even seem to acknowledge their presence. "If you don't let him pass he'll have your front men eaten," Eren's pilot muttered, Rivaille searching his face for some bits of a lie. Nothing.

"Let him in!"

"But captain!" Hanji called, her face white as a sheet. It was the vocal one.

"It's a negotiation," Eren nodded, dark eyes watching the creature striding forward.

"He gets closer than twenty feet from us and you rain hell," he shouted back, nodding to her she stood back.

Without the innumerous teeth spitting the creature's face with strips of tendons and muscular tissue holding the jaw in place it looked fairly human. It had a full head of thick, black hair and had even salvaged some of the clothes from the dead they'd collected; a blood tunic, ripped white pants, and a tattered uniform jacket. Though, just like Eren, his eyes were demonically encircled in black rather than white.

It stopped at a dead twenty feet in front of Eren and the corporal, head lowered as it looked at the ground. For a moment it looked as if it hadn't found the voice to speak yet, but that wasn't it. The creature was chuckling, shoulders bouncing as he lolled its head upright and acknowledged the two before him.

"Na… what do they call you?" He jerked his head over to Eren. He said nothing. "You're piloting a human kid. You've got a voice. _Speak_."

"I don't have a name," the boy answered, eyes narrowed doubtfully.

"That's shit. We've all got names… at least, our proxies do," the creature nodded, spitting some blood and bone from its mouth. "Maybe it's the look turning you off. Pardon me." The corporal's eyes turned to dinner plates as he watched the skin around the titan teeth and tendons fuse, forming a face and lips. It was like nothing he'd ever seen before. Then again, he'd never seen a titan-human hybrid outside Eren's domain and even then the boy wasn't really one to share details. "His name was Wendell Kevorkian. Bright kid. Great things for him if his father wasn't a sick… twisted… oh, well, you know," the thing shrugged. "But Wendell's a bitch's name. I mean, I wanna beat the fuck outta a guy named _Wendell_. So, call me Dell."

"Tch… as if _Dell_ is any better?" Eren guffawed, rolling his dark eyes as the corporal was frozen in shock. What could he do? If he attacked the entire perimeter squad was dinner. If he just stood there he could learn a thing or two. "Kid's name is Eren. I rather like the name. A lot fuckin' better than Dell."

"So you're the source," Dell smirked, sucking his lips and spitting another wad of rotting flesh from his mouth, cursing as he picked his teeth with his pinky nail. "Ugh… hate it when you keep burping up dinner."

"Source?" Rivaille blinked, watching Dell with the most focus he'd applied to anything since his own strikes.

"Well every fine river and ocean, every plant and relation has a source," the black-haired hybrid regarded the man with droll interest. "Titans and amalgams didn't just pop up like fuckin' weeds outta the ground. Eren here was the complete package. He was the first and the finished, packed up in a pretty little bow!" The rest didn't seem to find much humor in the situation and watched for Dell's next move. "You're fucking kidding me. You didn't know."

"Not in this memory back," Eren shrugged, rolling his eyes and looking off to the side as if he was bored.

"Now you're just being a little shit," Dell growled. "You're serious. What can you do?"

"What do you mean what can I do? I bitch with this feisty little shit and feel shorty's glower watching my ass all the time! What else is there to do?" Eren laughed, folding his arms across his chest. The corporal bit back the urge to punch him across the face.

"Shift, for one thing. Have _utter_ control and intelligence? You're shittin' me? You can't do shit?"

"Oh, I can shit. Hehe, but no, can't say your petty hunting games are much of a priority. And I like his pretty face. Why would I want to fuck it up with rotting corpse smell and gimpy teeth? How do you even keep your food in your mouth!?"

Dell saw there was no winning with Eren, eyes narrowing and fists balled at his side. The air buzzed with static as their eyes locked in a violent shouting match contained in their heads. The boy huffed, turning on his heel and heading back for the gate.

"Don't come back here," Eren called.

"Oh, we'll be back. I've just learned how little of a threat you pose, nameless," Dell snickered, breezing past a completely fazed guard squad. "I'm bored," he yawned, a hoard of mindless souls slinking into his wake as he walked back. Hanji's body went numb as she saw the numerous lackies trudging behind their ring leader, completely out of sight from the tree _and _ground squads.

Back in the courtyard Eren was turning and heading his own way back. Rivaille turned and watched as the boy strode back towards the castle as if he were bored with the intense meeting of their leading threat. It was almost as if he didn't care.

"Where the hell do you think you're going? And who the hell was that?"

"Beats the fuck out of me," Eren shrugged, continuing on as if he'd not heard the uncertainty in Rivaille's voice.

"Eren!"

"Oh, what?"

The corporal latched his tight grip around Eren's wrist and jerked him back. The boy was about to snarl at him, but his throat stopped up by the look on the man's face. His eyes were wide and sweat was running down his face as if it were a blistering summer day when the night was actually bitter with a chill. He pulled on the boy's wrist again and turned him around so that they faced each other.

"Eren… you… whoever you are! What the hell is he?" The man's voice shook a little, eyes still piercing like knives.

For the longest time silence buzzed in Rivaille's ears as he awaited Eren's answer. He didn't want to hear 'I don't know' because that implied that they were shooting blind. Their weak spots would have to be targeted on a far closer range leaving even bigger blind spots open. He couldn't risk another mass of troops for one potential hit on the leader. Even if they did land a strike, destroying their brain could leave the brawn violent, hungry, and without direction, making them all the more titan-like. Eren sucked in a regretful breath.

"They're what he is," Eren muttered, dark eyes lowering to Rivaille's pallor face. "But either more advanced mentally… or degraded to animal instinct drives."

Seeing that the answer was far from enough Eren's hand tugged on the corporal's and led him down the corridor. Hanji took that as a sign to rotate the troops. Quickly the shocked cluster of recruits walked back to their quarters to sleep while readied soldiers walked out to join Hanji who was still recovering from the shock of seeing the leader of the horror just brush by her.

Silently Eren led the corporal up the staircase to his room, no one daring to utter a word in fear of breaking the nervous quiet. The pilot closed Eren's eyes and tried calling the boy to his mind, hoping they could have a few words before he acted on his subconscious.

_You wanna do _what_?! _

_Just trust me on this. _

Trust_ you?! Are you out of my mind?!_

_Unfortunately not. Hold on for the ride, kid. _

**A/N: Alrighty, HELLO READERS! Finally, after 7 intense, teasing, dramatic, and slightly gruesome chapters I speak at last. **

**First, I would like to PERSONALLY thank ALL my readers and reviewers. Your letters and comments give me joy that makes me act like a seizing seal in a coffee shop. I reread them all the time and just for you I'm thinking about doing an EreRi giveaway of art, mixtapes, and perhaps a print copy of this fic or a ficlet! Would that interest anyone? **

**Second, thank you for sticking with me through that really cringe-worthy part where Rivaille sucked the festering blood out of Eren's neck. I will be honest with you, I was gagging while I wrote that, but I felt it was a key element to the plot's progression. **

**Thirdly, I just love you guys a lot. This is the first time I've posted on this account and my very first fic for this fandom. I'm really glad to see you guys seem to think I'm handling characterization well because god knows I was scared to fuck that up. **

**Heheheheheheh, really debating shifting the rating from T to M in the next chapter. **

**For now, and always, Jaegermeister out. **


	8. Chapter 8

_You can't do this!_

_Who says? _

_I do! My body, my say! _

_Yeah, so? You're body's saying yes. _

_Oi, stop! _

At the top of the tower you could see everyone frantically swapping information, returning and escaping from posts. Rivaille looked at the recruits scurrying like rats around the courtyard until peace slowly found its way around. When it does the aftershock of it all begins to set in as the man finds his way back to his bed, slumping down like the weight of the world has been handed to him. Odd considering that dark responsibility hadn't set in far sooner.

Eren's glimmering hybrid eyes watch as Rivaille goes through the flickering moments of confusion, horror, and acceptance, eyes rimmed with a shadow only akin to people of his level of pain. He rubbed the space between his eyes and groaned a little before raking his hair back against his head with both hands. It was almost as if he couldn't wake up from a dream that left him dazed and dizzy.

"What were they?"

"Something mutated," the titan answered in the borrowed voice.

"Something like you?"

The words seemed to cut through the silence and dig nails into Eren's heart. So even he had doubts. After all this time Eren had turned to the corporal for hope. Petra had always told him to have faith and he did. He trusted Rivaille to believe he was human and to fight for that statement with his whole heart behind it. Though, now, Eren could see he had his flickering moments of skepticism like all the rest. It hurt more than anything in his whole life right next to the thought that his entire life had crumbled twice in the same decade.

Not to be trusted is the greatest misery of them all. It was nothing compared to being screamed at during boot camp or constantly being pestered by people for wanting to go into the corps. It wasn't half as bad as people looking after you, whispering vehemently with bulging eyes laden with fear. It was like he wasn't something that belonged even though all he wanted to do was save everyone. Half of the time he didn't even feel like those people should be saved at all if they had no faith in him.

Then it clicked. Why bother saving them, they don't have faith in me. That's exactly what Rivaille must have felt all too often when he first joined the corps himself. Being something of a thug—a fact only divulged by Irwin—he must have faced constant scrutiny as if tripping over a rock could get him formally pushed out of the academy. And yet he became the greatest soldier the corps had ever seen. Prove them wrong. If you want to live, think. What makes you human? Those words must have been on a constant loop inside the man's head until he earned a place of true power, until he subjugated those who wronged him all those years.

"The kid's human… My existence is merely childhood collateral damage," he shrugged, eyes watching the man with daggers. He could feel the tightness in Eren's chest and hear his echoing, melancholy thoughts burning to the forefront of his stolen conscious mind. "He hates when you say that, you know."

_What are you doing?_

"Say what?"

"When you doubt him."

_Wait, what are you doing?_

"I don't," Rivaille corrected him, eyes narrowing challengingly.

"You just second guessed him! Asked me if we were one of those… well, for lack of a better word, shit piles," the boy nodded, rolling his eyes at the thought of the pompous ideals of Dell. What an idiot. What a dick. What an idiot dick. "Why do you second guess him, Rivi?"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Does it bother you when someone considers you affectionately?" The boy sneered, kicking himself off the wall where he had leaned. Smoothly he took the seat beside Rivaille and grinned, inching intimately closer. "Or is it that no one's ever approached you like this?" The creature guffawed. "Oh, Rivi, don't tell me… you're not a _virgin_, are you?!"

"No!"

"Then how come you're turning so pink?"

"Because you're using him to say these things!"

Ding, dong, we have a winner. The root of every great detective and psychologist is knowing the right questions to ask and Eren had hit the nail on the head. Inside of his head the boy's face burned bright red, echoing back onto his actual face. The corporal saw this and blinked in confusion. "Why are you-?"

"No, no, he's freaking out. I can tell you right now this kid's never laid his hands on _anyone_, let alone another guy," the pilot swatted the air, shaking his head as his face only got warmer and warmer. "This is really distracting, Eren. Really, head out of the gutter."

_STOP GIVING HIM A COMMENTARY! _

"I can't help if you've got a boner for this shorty, but please, do behave," Eren sighed, the corporal's face only turning pale as a ghost, eyes looking off.

_I'm going to _kill_ you!_

_Try me. _

"You're despicable," the corporal glowered, pulling Eren forward by his collar. The boy's face went even more pink while the expression the creature displayed couldn't have been more bored. "Get out of his head _now_."

"Oh, but why? So much fun up here. So many things he thinks about you… so, so many," Eren grinned slyly, eyebrows raising teasingly.

"Shut up!" The man growled, their faces ever closer.

The nameless monster running Eren around couldn't resist. He jerked forward and crushed their lips together, holding Rivaille's angular jaw as they fell back onto the bed. Not leaving the man one opening he straddled his hips and sat on him so he couldn't move, their lips still twisting. Eren moved his tongue into Rivaille's mouth and pulled on his hair. A grunt vibrated through the kiss just before they parted, the creature chortling in a satisfied way as if he knew he had the corporal in his clutches.

_What—Stop that right now! What are you doing!? STOP! _

"What the hell was that?" Rivaille hissed, eyes narrowed to bitter slits.

"What pretty boy has been _dying_ to do," Eren grinned, tossing his jacket onto the floor and rapidly popping the buckles on the leather straps. "Why _do_ you guys use leather? It's so kinky."

"Get off me!"

"Now, Rivi. You'd be lying through your teeth if you said you'd willingly pass up this offer. You can have him back the moment I'm done," Eren snickered, lunging and taking a playful nip out of Rivaille's neck and pulling the ascot around his neck away. A deep growl rose from the man's throat as the boy pulled away, licking his lips.

Slowly Eren's body began to rock in place, the front of his pants grinding against Rivaille's. The pilot's dark eyes watched as his prey slowly twisted into something with far less self-control. His eyes sharpened as he beheld the sight of Eren's blushing face looming over him, body grinding against him at a painfully slow speed.

"Eren," the man breathed, his hands finding their way the boy's hips.

Under his touch Rivaille could feel the boy move with expert control that the real Eren could not have just by the sight of his 3D Gear flying. His hips rolled, hands snaking their way up the corporal's chest and back down again. The lascivious look in his blue-green eyes was so strange and yet so fiery, a contradiction to their own color. This couldn't _really_ be Eren… could it? Though, inside the boy's head something far different was happening.

_Ngh… Ah… St-stop… stop it! _

_And walk away from the fruition of your dreams? You're joking. Besides… I kinda like him. _

_Ah! Nn… P-please… God… stop… ngh… _

_Scream a little louder so Rivi can hear. Talk about a turn on. _

_Aha… nngh, oh God… Nn… _

"You should hear this kid moan," the pilot whispered, slowly snaking his hands town and slipping his hands around the belt at the front of Rivaille's jeans. With practiced speed—which seemed just as unlike Eren as his movements—the belt was removed and soon all that stood in Eren's way was a pair of pants and underwear. "You wouldn't think he's a virgin."

Suddenly the man snapped back to reality. He pulled Eren's face off the front of his jeans where the boy had begun licking them, begging to will the pants away. He saw the pilot look a little confused before he let his face curl into a smooth, sly grin.

"Don't you use him for your own gain," the man growled, narrowing his eyes, though his pants told a different story.

"What, you don't want a piece of this?" The pilot blinked, motioning to his body as he sat upright. "If there were two of me I'd want a piece of my own ass."

"I won't do that. Not his first…"

The pilot blinked for a moment, confused, before he let out a loud guffaw of disbelief, saying, "Oh god, how chivalrous! You're disgusting. No, wrong word… _stupid_." No matter what he said, Rivaille seemed adamant. "Now, come on… Ugh… well then, talk about a mood killer."

"Give him back," the man lowered his voice, pulling the boy close again. "Get out of his head and leave."

"Don't change the subject, Rivi. We've still got this dilemma on our hands," Eren sneered, hand grabbing the bulge on the front of the corporal's pants. A certain animosity came out in his growl of pleasure, his control fleeting just for a moment. "That's right, you princely shit. No matter how gallant you think you are, you're still hard and hot for this kid."

"Shut up!"

"Make me, Rivi… shut me up," Eren whispered, slinking down off the bed and onto his knees.

The boy moved so that he was kneeling between the corporal's legs, eyes alight with carnal desire. There was nothing the man could have done. He was too far gone to say no, too lost in the moment of thick, hazy heat to object. Rivaille's steely eyes watched as Eren carefully unbuttoned his pants and pulled down the zipper. The moment seemed to stretch out for eternity until the boy had his hand on his member.

"Shit," the man hissed, Eren squeezing responsively.

Eyes watching Rivaille's face for a reaction Eren began stroking the hard length in his hand. To see a face usually screwed up in a grimace for most of its life to be softened by pleasure was a sight to see. The man's face was flushed red, hands balled into fists at his sides. Just to hear the change Eren closed his lips around the head of Rivaille's member, a grunt of satisfaction escaping the man. Teasingly the boy ran his tongue around the head and sucked gently, hand still pumping.

_Please… God… haa… ngh… nnn… _

_God is so far from this room right now I could laugh! _

"Eren…"

_You hear that? He's calling your name… _

_Stop it… mngh… nn…. _

"Hah… Eren," Rivaille groaned again, this time grabbing a fistful of the boy's thick brown hair.

_Ri… ngh… Rivaille… _

Eren began moving more of the corporal's member into his mouth until he was silenced. His tongue ran over the thick length and sucked, the moans coming from above growing in frequency. More and more the man called out Eren's name until the sound got through to him deep inside. The boy had collapsed over into the darkness and covered his eyes in shame. He didn't want to see what the pilot was seeing or hear the corporal gasp his name. More, it was that he didn't want that creature to be responsible for those sounds. He didn't want him to _touch_ Rivaille let alone do this. And yet he couldn't stop the sticky heat that burned in his pants, bulging against them as if defying the confines of cloth. It started hurting not to touch, but the pilot never once moved his hands away from the corporal's member.

_Ngh… Aha! Nn… mngh… E-enough… please… enough!_

_You're so close… _

_Stop… nn, oh god! _

"Eren…!" Rivaille grunted, teeth gritted as he came into the boy's mouth.

At first the sudden flood of hot, bitter cum was a shock. The boy inside was certainly gasping in both horror and mixed pleasure. Eren pulled away while the corporal recoiled. His face was flushed with the sensation of his body coming down from the clouds.

_D-don't you dare!_

_Oops! _

The boy swallowed, Eren screaming inside his head as the pilot stood up, tuning out his screaming. The sight of his face was a remarkable shade of red despite his expression's cool nature. He grabbed Rivaille's face and turned it up to his, grin spreading over his flushed face.

"I told you you could have him back," the pilot whispered, eyes fading back to their normal white and rolling back into Eren's head. The boy collapsed to the ground, head throbbing with a slurred sensation that made his entire body feel groggy but as if he'd just ran a mile. His breathing was rough, but not pained as he regained his senses.

By the time he leaned up Rivaille had managed to tuck himself back into his pants and look a considerable amount less disheveled than when the boy had been between his legs. Like a flood the moments had rushed back to him and his entire system blanked. He fell back again, body embarrassed to tears. Rather, shamed straight to exhaustion.

"God… it's impossible to believe you two share a body," the corporal sighed, smacking his hand over his head and groaning. "Shit… back to bed."

Scooping Eren over his shoulder Rivaille dropped the boy onto his bed and sighed, shaking the moment off his back. He had to go do a round and check on Hanji and looking like he'd just been sucked off by his own charge was not a good way to start a serious conversation. His sharp eyes watched Jaeger for a moment, the boy's lips parting in a soft, tired yawn. "Mm…" A sigh of indecisiveness escaped him.

Careful not to wake him, Rivaille bent over on the bed, pressing either of his hands onto the mattress and watching Eren's soft face drifting into a dream. It was so peaceful, so innocent and by contrast of just ten minutes earlier, it was shocking. Though, not in a horrific way like the bite that had faded from his neck or the look of Dell before he dressed for the meeting. This sort of shock was a beautiful one, like the red flush over the boy's cheeks against his pale skin. His face was much like a diamond in the rough, cute in a boy-next-door sort of way, but when he'd ridden Rivaille with lust in his eyes a true, glimmering beauty showed. "You're going to be the death of me," he whispered, smoothing his hand over the boy's cheek, caressing his face and locking their lips.

"Corporal!" Hanji's voice called from the courtyard, his body freezing. "Oi, corporal!"

"Ugh…"

Hanji strode down the cobblestone halls with the air of self-importance. She beamed proudly as she stopped at the foot of the spiral stairs leading up to the corporal's bedroom. She didn't want to come within spitting distance of that door after the recent mishap. Patiently she stood at the bottom, deeply internalizing fear and horror. Stay strong and no one will notice. Stay strong and you can hide the fear. Stay strong and-.

"Hanji!" Rivaille snapped, tearing the woman from her spinning thoughts.

"Sir!"

"What the fuck do you want?" He snapped crossly, folding his arms over his chest.

"Well… I, uh," she stammered, eyes wide as her mind blanked. "I…"

What did she want? She'd been so shaken up giving orders and masking the shaking in her hands that her immediate response was to go to the person that grounded her. Ever since they'd met the two were as thick as thieves in the most love-hate sort of way, though their angered platonic relationship had never furthered. Petra had always crossed her fingers for something to happen, but her hopes died down each time. Though it wasn't saying they'd not grown close tied together with a strong bond.

Several times Rivaille had backed Hanji when she'd gotten too stupidly close to one of her captives. They'd grown up in the corps together and watched the rise and fall of their own egos as well as their strengths. Now all Hanji could say was a few stuttering words as the blood drained from her face. The corporal used to tell her that whatever she saw could never be as bad as what he'd done, but now that seemed so impossible. This and that were worlds apart.

"Hanji…?"

"Ah, s-sir!" She blinked back to reality, shaking her head nervously. "I apologize. I was just hoping that… maybe…"

"I had an explanation for this?" Hanji nodded slowly. "No." She nodded again. "But you know that we're still going to end this, right?"

"We've not left this base in days. I'm not questioning your authority, captain, I just… we promised people we'd take back Shinganshina, but we just keep getting cornered by a new enemy," she whispered, shoulders stiffening as she bit back tears that started to well in her eyes.

Slowly Rivaille circled his arms around the woman and sighed, pulling her into a hug. She bent over and rested her head against his shoulder, her mess of auburn hair hiding her face as the tears spilt over. He could feel her body shiver as she felt the helplessness take over. Hanji was a optimist and she'd survived a hell of a lot, but sometimes she just couldn't keep it all in.

"You remember what I used to tell you, right?" Hanji nodded into his shoulder, tears still bubbling over. "Whatever you see out here… no matter what you've heard from anyone… what hides inside my head and what I've seen is so… so much worse."

"What… did you see?"

The corporal only tightened his hug before letting her go. He stared into the distance and let the question roll of his back before looking toward the one hall that only he dared to walk down alone. It took a brave man to cross those polished stones and press their hands against the shining brass door knobs, confronting the man inside. Honestly, due to his lack of appearance some questioned if he was still alive. Only rumor kept him going in the minds of the corps as far as anyone else was concerned. "What are you thinking?"

"Just that maybe this is something to take up with that smug bastard," Rivaille muttered, turning and heading toward that hall.

"B-but, captain, we really can't just barge in so late. What if he's sleeping?" Hanji stammered, taking two strides to meet the corporal's.

"In his office, Zoe?" The man asked humorlessly.

"Well, no, but-," she began, cut off by one of the captain's infamous scoffs. It sent a hard shiver down her spine as she tried speaking again. "You really shouldn't interrupt him, Rivaille. What if he's still doing that thing?"

"What thing?" The captain asked without turning to face her.

"You know, the… the thing where he smiles and watches you, but doesn't say anything even though you know he's thinking about something serious," she rambled, picturing that man with the eyebrows of a lion beaming curiously down at you. How frightening he was. Even Rivaille seemed small next to him, pun unintended.

"Well he can smile all he wants; this has become a situation, Zoe."

"But sir!"

"But nothing!"

Before she'd even realized it they were at the door of his office. Hanji's voice had died in her throat as Rivaille pulled the door wide and walked in without so much as a, 'Hello, how do you do?' She peered around the edge of the thick wooden door and nervously walked in behind the captain. What else could she do? She couldn't well stand there and eavesdrop, that would be far worse.

"Irwin," Rivaille growled, the man spinning in his chair. "What the hell have you been doing in here? Taken a walk outside lately, huh?"

"Lovely to see you, too," Irwin smiled, Hanjis face draining of blood again. Something about that smile was all too ominous. "And Hanji Zoe, it's been a bit since we've last spoken," he regarded her politely, but his words still came off chillingly.

"I'm serious, Irwin! What the hell have you been doing cooped up in here all week? Do you know about _anything_ that's been going on?"

The man sighed, "Haven't missed a thing, I'm afraid. At this rate, I wish I could have." He took in a deep breath and wove his fingers together, resting his chin on them as he looked over Rivaille. Suddenly his polite, friendly attitude faded into the shadows cast by his chair and all charm was lost. "So they've moved on our board, then?" The corporal nodded. "Interesting… big, _big _mistake."

Irwin stood from his chair, towering over Hanji and Rivaille, and walked over towards the door. He regarded the two with a sly grin before walking out into the hall, an envelope in his hand that was behind his back. Rivaille's eyes hit the red wax seal that was still stuck to the open message, the image bouncing as Irwin walked. His eyes widened as he turned and followed, disbelief spreading through him.

"S-sir!"

"Mm?"

"That letter, it's from-," Rivaille began, but Irwin stashed it in his jacket pocket and gave him a signature smile as if to say, "What are you talking about? Don't make a scene because that letter under strict confidentiality, does not _exist_, Rivaille." The corporal closed his mouth and watched as he turned back and walked straight down the narrow hall out into the length corridor. He was going to cover the rounds shift.

Unsure of the eerie moment Hanji stood back inside the office and stared at the desktop. It was too clean for a man supposed to be eyeballs deep in research about the titans and creating stratagems for traversing the unmarked landscape with monsters at their heels. Dust had even gathered on the antique bookshelves and there was no sign of any particular kind of movement that might indicated busy study. It was strange. Even more so was the fact that Irwin had been carrying a letter sealed by the king's _personal_ stamp. Either he was hiding something far more serious than packs of violent hybrids or mutiny was afoot.

Only when Rivaille pressed his hand onto her shoulder did Hanji snap out of her dazed string of thoughts. His face said the exact same and they both knew faintly that in the back of their minds there was a growing possibility that it wasn't just the hybrids that threatened Eren's life. He nodded once as if to affirm her worries and her held breath hissed out.

"Follow him?" Rivaille asked in pure concern. The girl smiled and left the office, leaving the man to his thoughts. "Oh, god, Irwin… What the hell are you doing?"

**A/N: HahaHA! Not all the way, I know. Hope I didn't disappoint anyone. I kept the smut a little on the PG13 side because I wasn't sure the ages of all my readers. Haha, but like that'll stop me later! Don't get so discouraged, there will **_**definitely **_**be more steamy moments on the horizon as well as intriguing drama. **

**And per request Bertholdt will make an appearance. I promise that the only reason he's not popped in is PURELY because I forgot his name. **

**Another cliffhanger, *gasp*! What's Irwin up to and what's that letter say? Why's the king involved? Is the Pilot a friend or foe? Stick around! **

**Also, I'm curious to hear your input on the EreRi giveaway and just to TALK to you awesome guys! Hit me up on skype, 69 or on tumblr, .com! **


	9. Chapter 9

Deep inside the recesses of Eren's mind the world was a silent pool of darkness, the waters only rippling when he breathed softly. Pilot grinned down at the boy who was flushed to the ears and breathing heavily, body somehow changed into something desirably beautiful. His lips were still red from the intense kiss Levi had pulled him into and his cheeks were nearly glowing with warmth as his heart fluttered in his chest. The creature smiled, stroking Eren's hair affectionately, a devious grin spreading over his toothy face.

"Just keep falling in love, Eren," he whispered, "Your heart will just be all the more fun to break."

Irwin grumbled to himself as he walked across the cobblestone courtyard, blonde hair a faint blue twinge as he looked up at the moonlight. So many plot points stewing under one roof; it was just too much. And now _this_! He looked at the opened letter in his hand and grumbled to himself, watching the gates closely for movement before walking up to one of the recruits. He couldn't be much older than Levi when he joined the corps by nothing but sheer force and bribery. Irwin recalled him balling his fists and standing in the shadow of the attack, body rigid with fear and persistence as the others faded around him. He was strong, but he seemed dazed.

"Jean, was it?" He smiled, the boy jerking around and jumping to stand at attention. Irwin waved his hand for him to stop, but Jean was too scared to fall from salute in front of him. "Rough night?"

"Nothing we can't handle, sir!"

Complete lies. At least, that's what his body said. Jean's eyes were rimmed by dark shadows of exhaustion and parts of his jacket were dark where sweat had soaked through. He had always been kind of a hot head, especially standing next to Eren, but this wasn't his normal distractedness. Jean seemed almost dizzy with confusion and anger, though he tried forcing those emotions out through pressing his fist deeper into his chest. He'd seen something.

"Jean?"

"Sir?"

"What did you see, Jean?"

The boy's eyes widened as he stared off into a distant, vacuum-like space where the writhing image snarled in his mind, tearing at his understanding of fact and fiction. Irwin waited for the boy to come back to consciousness, watching his eyes as the pupils sharpened to pin-pricks. Jean swallowed the dry, cottony sensation in his throat, opening his mouth to speak but only losing the words. How could he even begin to describe something like that?

"I… It was probably… just my mind," he murmured, eyes cast off as he buttoned his lips.

"I didn't ask if you thought it was real, I asked what you saw," Irwin clarified, still keeping a cool head as he turned his gaze back to the dark forests. Things weren't especially quiet, but there wasn't enough noise to be on edge.

"Before the recruits formed into the Recon Squads there were the original 104 of us. We'd all graduated the day the Colossal Titan reappeared. He… he helped save all of us," Jean whispered, fighting the tears that burned at the corner of his eyes. "He was so scared… but he went ahead on my orders… I was supposed to die… and he took my place…"

The words seemed to echo off the stone walls racing around the castle as Jean zone out from reality. Irwin remembered his own friends' bodies piling in the fires, wondering if the ashes and blackened bones were your best friend or someone you knew at all, but you kept them all the same. It was the memory of those fading faces that you kept alive by keeping their remains. You would kiss your blades and pray they could see you avenging their death, fear coursing through your veins alongside agony and rage. But it wasn't something so long ago that gnawed at the boy so deeply inside. Not with the reaction he had now.

"Keep going…"

"His name was Marco and… I saw him the day we were drugged."

"What?"

_Sleep little soldier, it won't be long now… sleep little soldier, the sun's going down… sleep little soldier, your fight is over now… run little soldier, your lights are going out! _

Hanji pressed her back against the wall just outside the gate and listened closely. Her eyes closed and her breathing stilled so she could devote her senses to the sound of Irwin and Jean's conversation. So far the recruit was reliving a nightmare in gross, emotional detail. Levi had said follow them, but what was that letter? The seal said it came from directly from the king, but what could he be saying to a suicide mission leader?

"His name was Marco and… I saw him the day we were drugged."

"What?"

_What!? _Hanji's thoughts screamed as her eyes popped open. _Impossible! Zero percent probability! NO! _Her ears sharpened as she leaned in a little closer without seeming obviously eavesdropping. Oh, who was she kidding? If she got caught now she would look like she was either listening in or she was trying very, _very _hard to become one with the wall.

"I was walking past the door to the kitchen after we did all night watches and… I thought I was dreaming at first, but he was smiling at me… from the window," Jean nodded, sweat running down the back of his neck. "He leaned in the window and… I think he may have thrown the flowers into a bowl of food, I was just too shocked to know for sure… No one noticed, but it was him and he… no, he wasn't a dream."

Suddenly Irwin took the words with a grave seriousness, nodding as he pressed his hands firmly onto Jean's shoulders. His piercing blue eyes stared into the boy's as he began to lower his voice. Hanji leaned into the wall closer to hear but the wind was picking up and the words blew along in the breeze. She cursed herself for not having sharper hearing, but there wasn't anything she could do.

"Hanji!"

"S-sir!" The woman smacked her hands over her mouth in her instinctive response, eyes widening. She walked around the corner of the wall, eyes still bulging, hands over her mouth, as she watched Irwin smile that same, ominous grin at her, hands folded behind his back. "I-I was just-," she began, but the man raised his hand.

"It doesn't matter what you were doing, it's going to matter what you do."

"Huh?"

_Slowly Eren's eyes opened, body heavy with sweat and dazedness. His chest was heavy like he was being stood on by the captain, but when he tilted his head forward, he near fainted again. Pilot's mysterious, watery form was sitting on his chest, legs straddling the boy's sides. When the creature saw he was awake it pressed its weight into the boy's ribs harder, knocking his breath out. _

"_G-get off!" _

"_And give you back the steering wheel? Fat chance, you little shit," Pilot snickered, leaning down close as Eren struggled against a massive, unfathomable weight on his arms and legs. "Wasting energy you don't have… how _cute_." _

"_What did you do?! Get this off me!" Eren screamed, jerking against the tar-like bonds that he was nearly cemented to the waterlogged ground with. _

"_Shut up," the creature snarled, punching Eren clear across the face. The boy recoiled, eyes wide as he felt a bruise form and fade on his cheek. "You should thank me for fixing your pretty little face." _

_The semi-formed thing stood and backed away from Eren, still snickering all the while. He picked his teeth and grinned, a smile of too many teeth glimmering in a light unseen. For a moment the boy thought he was hallucinating, but when he looked closer he could really, _really_ see what was happening. The black ooze that masked Pilot's face was dripping away, revealing a face all too familiar. "Like it?" _

"_No…" _

"_Bullshit. At least, I know one person who will love this face," he laughed deeply, throat mingling voices again. "Or at least fucking it." _

"_He'll know!" Eren screamed, thrashing against his prison. "Levi will _know_!" Even though he said that, Eren prayed that the captain wasn't completely oblivious. He had to know, right? He'd known before. Of course he'd know now. Right? Right. Right…? _

"_Oh, honey," the Pilot chortled, voice smoothing into Eren's own. "I've learned some new tricks." _

_The boy's eyes widened as he watched the eyes of the creature, his voice screaming at the top of his lungs. He fought violently against the chains, throat becoming raw in a roar of anger. The demonic howl from the titan's body was leaking through into the sound of his cries and even the Pilot was impressed. He didn't think Eren had it in him, but he supposed something so cunning would make anyone mad. _

_Ignoring the boy's horrific screeches, Pilot swaggered off with his new body, tailored to his perfect fit. He rolled his shoulders, getting the feel of the skin as he laughed darkly, walking away from Eren whose throat was heaving heavy breaths as his voice choked up in his throat. Just for laughs he looked back and saw the tears running down the boy's face as he lie in the darkness of his mind, defeated. _

"_Oh, you've never looked more beautiful," Pilot whispered, snapping his fingers. _

Levi reached for the door to his bedroom, head spinning with thoughts when the thick wooden door threw itself wide. Eren was standing in the door, looking a little disheveled from the heavy sleep and a little awkward, but normal nonetheless. The two met at a nervous, what-do-we-say-now sort of point, the captain clearing his throat and—hopefully—the air.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"What'cha mean?" Eren grinned, scratching the back of his head. God, did he have a headache.

"I mean, we… you…"

"We, you, what?"

"Nothing, nothing," Levi shook his head. He didn't need this conversation. If Eren had completely forgot then it was all for the better.

The two spent a few minutes idling in the doorway before another firm, forced cough broke the silence. He motioned for the boy to follow him back down the stairs. Eren nodded stiffly, and shut the door behind him. It was a little difficult walking down the stairs in the knee-high boots, footing nearly slipping from beneath him. After a moment of bouncing on his heels he got the feel of things and he rushed down the stairs so that he was at the captain's heels again.

For the first time since the beginning the world was quiet. Outside the night air danced through the thick trees, a melodic rustling echoing through the castle's walls. Eren could hear the soft clicks of Levi's heels against the stone clearly like a metronome. The castle was colder than he remembered, or maybe it was just standing so close behind the captain.

It seemed like eternity that they were walking around the castle, the night becoming thick with cold and humidity. Soon breathing was becoming a challenge and a dense, smoky fog began rolling around the mountaintops in the distance. An ominous air was flowing down around the castle like something dark was brewing, but Eren was sure Dell was up to something. If not to attack now, he was working a great intimidation angle for the meantime.

After strolling along for nearly half an hour Levi stopped dead in his tracks, Eren running straight into him. The boy jumped, staggering back and trying to focus his eyes. Why was he so tired all of the sudden?

"We're going to have to take you off the recon corps," Levi announced, turning on his heel to face the boy.

"What?"

"You're too much of a risk… We'll still advance to Shinganshina, but you can't act out," the corporal clarified, the boy narrowing his eyes.

"Levi!"

Almost as if something had been switched off inside of him, the corporal turned, eyes sharp. Eren recoiled, a chill racing down his spine as he caught a cold glimmer in Levi's eyes. It was a frightening look, but he guessed that's what a good leader needs; tactical skills and intimidation. Though, he wasn't in the mood to admire his cold stare. The boy stared straight into Levi's glower and matched his intensity. That was always the kid's problem. He would never look that man in the eye as if they weren't equals. He wasn't a monster or a demon, he was just a powerful fighter, if that. The look on the corporal's face was almost photo-worthy. Damn, if only Eren had a camera.

Stopping just inches in front of Eren's face, Levi narrowed his eyes. He looked the boy up and down, unsure of something. He looked like a burning question sat on the tip of his tongue, but he fought the urge to ask. For the longest time the two were in a deadlock stare, Eren's heart squeezing involuntarily as the captain shook his head and took a step back, turning to walk away.

"You stay here, no gear, no blades," the captain barked again, starting to leave the boy's sight.

"That's not fair!" He cried, anger swelling within him. Only, this wasn't just being upset. This frustration bubbled like black tar in the pit of his stomach, weighing Eren down and making him sick to his stomach. He balled his fists until his knuckles were a stark white, eyes flaring with rage.

"You signed up for the Corps… no one ever said it would be fair."

A feeling like none other stewed within the edges of Eren's mind, but he couldn't talk back. Blowing cover so quickly would be amateur. He ground his teeth and stormed off in the other direction, body buzzy with frustration and betrayal. _Fair? Bullshit. I keep relying on you petty shits and all I'm getting is recoil! _

_Please… stop… _A faint voice echoed deep within his head. It was like the wind brushing the back of your neck, leaves rustling to get your attention. _Please… I'm begging you. _

"You haven't groveled nearly enough," Eren's lips curled into a dark smile.

_Pilot… please… _

"I have full control and you want me to hand the steering wheel back to a loudmouth idiot like you? Fat chance, you worthless shit," the voice of Pilot bled through the creature's façade. "You couldn't save your mother, you couldn't save your friends, and, hell, you couldn't even save yourself." The cretin snickered, knowing if he let his full laugh rise into the sky it would draw the attention of, oh, say, everyone. "You're pathetic."

_Whatever Dell… whatever he promised you-_.

"Dell?" Pilot snorted. "That genetic shit pile can rot along with his little army for all I care. There's something of far more value waltzing around these halls, kid."

_What? _

"And he convinced you that your love was saving you. Oh, what a tragedy you are," the voice sighed, Eren making sure he was alone. "You know what the root of all human drive is, don't you?"

_Purpose…?_

"Power," Pilot sneered. "And your power was in your fleeting summer love, burning passion like gas right into your soul. You stupid, stupid thing. You didn't even see your end coming," the voice sighed contentedly, kicking Eren's body off the wall and moved towards a side door in the massive, towering castle.

_If you hurt them I swear to God-!_

"That you'll what? Avenge their pain by killing yourself? I'm keeping you alive no matter what your petty actions lead you to do. So just try it, Jaeger. I guarantee your failure," Pilot hissed, striding along the wide corridor as his lips pursed as he hummed a tune.

Inside his soul Eren thrashed, voice roaring in a scream as he bucked against the binds tying him down to himself, locked away. Tears burned in his eyes as he felt the black threads burrow into his skin and lock into his very being. It was the same feeling as being inside the titan, a host body to an infinitesimal soul inside. Seeing it now the titan had always had control over him, hadn't he? The proxy had become the pilot, a haunting title.

A wave of helplessness crashed over the boy as he slumped back against the thick, tight chains that locked him down into complacency. The tears that had swam in his vision like the rippled surface of a lake rolled down his cheek as he bit into his lip, fighting back the sobs. No matter how Eren pretended it wasn't true, Pilot was right. He didn't save his mother and killing wasn't helping him feel better about her death. Because he was reckless people died, their final thoughts laced with pain and misery. And now he was trapped inside his own being, body shaking as he sobbed like a child who'd lost their mother in a store. He couldn't do anything right. He couldn't even love right.

"Irwin," Levi's curt voice snapped, the tall, blonde man freezing in his place. He'd been caught. Out of all the people he'd ever nominated for recruiting, of all the people he'd ever come across of talent and precision, the only one he ever regretted bring into his own battalion was Levi.

"Captain," the man nodded slowly as he turned to face his subordinate, pun unintended. "Can I help you with anything?"

"What came in that letter?"

"Mm?" Irwin tilted his head as if he hadn't heard what the corporal was saying, but cared a lot less than he looked.

"The royally sealed letter, the one you tucked behind you when you went to ask Jean about who he saw at the window. What did it say?" Levi narrowed his eyes upward, patience wearing thin. In a great huff of air Irwin was cornered. He nodded slowly before wiping the mask away.

"The king was curious about our strategic efforts in the battle to reach Shinganshina. I'm in the process of explaining to him of our stalemate at headquarters," Irwin explained, pulling the envelope from his uniform pocket. "He needs to know this approximate death toll so he knows the proper amounts of supplies to be shipped here. Other than that, tea talk and the formal seal."

For moment it seemed as if neither of them believed the story that Irwin had concocted, but it was a mutual agreement that whatever was really folded inside that envelope was bigger than what could be exposed through trust. The taller man looked at Levi with intensity as if to say, "We're not in a place where we can talk and even if we were I couldn't tell you." However, the corporal only shot a look warning, "I will find out. Maybe not just now, but I _will_ find out."

Air brimming with electricity, a coldness sweeping between them. Unspoken words created a chasm of silence as they locked eyes. It was easy to read anyone, but Irwin was a whole other ball game. His face could be soft and appreciative or hard like steel, ruling just as swiftly. Even now he kept a neutral front of silence. It was beginning to feel like a deadlock. Seeing no end, Levi walked past the tall blonde, eyes staring off into a distance place. What was he hiding? And what had Jean seen?

"So what do you normally do while you're locked up like an animal?" Pilot sighed, shutting the cage door behind him as he dropped down onto the bed. Bored out of his mind, he reclined and crossed his legs at the ankles, fingers knitted behind his head.

_Go to hell! _

"That's rude."

_Rude? _Rude_?! _

"We all have vices and virtues, Jaeger," the creature sighed, staring up at the ceiling blackened by time.

_How do you even know what vices and virtues are?_

"What, you think I'm an ingrate? I've been with you your whole damn life. Thought I'd learn _something_."

_Yo-you've not been here! _

"Just because you had control doesn't mean I wasn't there," Pilot muttered, thinking back to the first time he had consciousness.

It was a quiet life living inside someone else. At first he assumed that the darkness around him was just where he was. It was infinite and vast just like his existence inside the thick veil of nothingness. Then one day, not long after life, something strange happened. Color bled into the blackness like ink in water, pigments dancing on the floor and bubbling at the unseen edges of existence. Soon the sky was swirling with bright, vivid images as Eren's mind began to grow. Pictures of far off lands, oceans and mountains, vast prairies and rich dessert reds spun in his mind. Pilot had watched so many beautiful things grow and die, contort and dance around in the boy's head. Then one day it was dark. Red and black, thoughts of horrible things raged inside of Eren and then everything became dark with just a faint, flickering light, its origin unknown. The light was so small that it almost felt impossible to reach it while the darkness below scratched at the creature's ankles, biting and howling to bring him down into the depths of the boy's darkness. Though, no matter what that light kept the thoughts back and it kept him safe. It followed Pilot everywhere he wandered until he realized what it was: hope.

"Your efforts are so fleeting," the creature smirked. "We share everything and you can't even read your own mind."

_Stop this… stop it now!_

"Is the light still there?"

_What? _

"Is there a light above you?" Eren looked up from his prison and noticed the faint white light shining above. His silence was his answer. "What do you suppose that is, stupid?"

_The answer to killing you?_

"Always with the melodrama," Pilot shook his head. "Think about it for a little while. I'll turn out the lights so you can focus more," he laughed, voice low and thick.

Eren thrashed as the tangles of black enveloped his body, wrapping around his face. He screamed, resisting harder than ever before as the bright spotlight began to blink out. His arms were burning as they cramped, lungs seared with a wrathful roar. His eyes widened as threads of muscle tissue created a coffin over him. At first his lips clenched tight as he searched for something he could see. By the sound of things he was closed off inside the casket. His arms were free, but he couldn't do anything. The lid felt impossibly thick.

Just when the boy began feeling helpless again the ground became soft. At first it was comfortable, but then the earth became watery and soon it was flooding the space. Eren gasped just as the water swallowed the last bit of air up. Panic throbbed through him until he opened his mouth, body shaking. The last bits of his air escaped and popped above him. Instinctively the boy covered his mouth, but it wasn't until he realized that he was breathing just fine that he stopped.

"It's your thoughts, not water, stupid," Pilot rolled his eyes as he settled against the bed. "Though… you can drown in their depths."

_What did you do? _

"Nothing."

_Please… I can't see… _

"Do you feel scared, yet?"

_Let me out! _

"I told you to think… what's that light, Jaeger? Answer that question and you might just live. What did cutie say? Think and you can live?" Pilot chortled, closing his eyes. "Fat chance that'd be."

_Please… Pilot, please… let me out! Let me out!_

**A/N: NOTICE: RIVAILLE WILL BE CHANGED TO LEVI DUE TO 'S UPDATING ON TAGS! **

**I have to go back and change tags now b/c apparently FF is a butt and wouldn't double up on the tags. :/ **

**Sorry this took so long to crank out! Haha, adult responsibilities and all. Whatever anyone tells you, 18 is fun, but responsibilities are not. ;; **

***noodle arms, wiggles* What's happ'nin'? Haha. Don't worry, I'm not going to leave a plot hole the size of Montana in there. Irwin's letter will be explained. But what did Jean see? **


	10. Chapter 10

_Being in the darkness is like infinite emptiness that swells within you, the vague sense of being rooted in your own soul. You know there is a lid of a box above you and yet you can't seem to grasp that there is a direction in such space. Eren knew this feeling all too well as he closed his eyes and hugged his arms. The waters of his mind were thick and cold, ruthless as they numbed him to every sensation. Some time ago he forgot whether it was cold or if he'd forgotten how to feel anything at all. All he knew for sure was that the world was dense and merciless, fighting him every moment that ticked past. _

_Eyes still squeezed shut Eren remembered the faces of his squad that was eaten in cold blood. Their faces as their lives were ripped out of their own hands for the insatiable hungers of some monster unknown. Their screams echoed in the waters and reverberated through his body. It was like the ghosts of his wrongs were tearing at him from the inside out. His mother's teary face flashed to the front of his mind as he reached out for her, body bobbing against the shoulder of the man that had bravely carried him out of harm's way. Mikasa was spared the sight, but he'd never forget his mother's final screams as the creature bit her clear in half, the blood falling like rain. _

_So much anger and grieving, and yet he'd never felt it so much before. It was as if the waters were actually concentrated emotions and the most prevalent one was pain and regret. It felt horrible. It was like the weight of every sin committed had been added as weight and crushed down against Eren's chest. He could feel the hollow sensation of heartbreak as if the bottom of his heart had been torn out and his very being had nowhere to go but into nothingness. _

_EREN!_

_STOP!_

_The boy clapped his hands over his ears as if to deafen the sound of his mother's scream. He never wanted to hear his name again. Not Mikasa crying it out. Not Armin begging for him to come back. Not Levi reminding him that he wasn't some monster that he'd been subjugated by; that he was a human with a beating heart and throbbing passions. _

_What would Levi think of him now? He couldn't even fight his own demons let alone focus on getting past his pride to admit there possibly, maybe could be some feelings between them. Oh, who was he kidding? His inner demons were using his feelings against him and it had worked. The image of Levi in the tight leather straps of the 3D Maneuver Gear was enough to send him into a blushing frenzy. When the corporal has kissed him so deeply, all coherent thoughts in Eren's head scrambled. Even Pilot was silenced by the intensity of the moment. _

_Soon the waters became less frightening and the boy had an idea where the lid to the casket was. He thought of how Levi could be leaning over it, screaming for him to remember who he was. He wouldn't be too concerned though. Either he trusted Eren or he didn't doubt that he could escape, but he would still be there telling him, fervently, to remember. His voice would be smooth, patient, and transient, but above all else, familiar. He wasn't perfect or cruel as so many thought he was. He could saw painful things, but he only meant to motivate Eren more. _

_Fight, Eren. If you want to live… if you truly want to live, then fight! _

_Fight…_

_EREN! _

_STOP!_

_Fight…?_

_What are you, Eren Jaeger, human or titan?!_

_HUMAN!_

_Fight?_

_If you want to live… then think. _

_FIGHT!_

"_Let me out of here!" Eren screamed, shocked as he had his own voice. _

_Deep inside the boy was drawing punches and cracking them against the hardened shell keeping him locked within his own thoughts. His knuckles began to blister and bloody as he pounded against the coffin. His anger surged within him like a shot of electricity, powerful and bright. His teeth gritted tight as he punched again, a miniscule piece of the shell cracking and letting in a beam of beautifully white light. _

"_You wanted me to know what that light was, didn't you?" Eren growled, breaking his fist through the shell, his hand reaching icy air. He pulled his hand back through, left hand pressing against the cocoon so that he wouldn't cut himself. He began breaking off pieces until he could stick his head through, then his shoulders. "You've been locked inside this body for all my life… watching, freeloading on my thoughts. And that one ray… it kept you alive," Eren snarled as he wiggled through the opening. He'd just begun hoisting himself through the opening when a sick crackling sound made the boy's heart stop. _

_The opening sharpened its edges like fangs and snapped shut around Eren's body like two blades. The pain was indescribable, his scream falling silent as he felt his body separate beneath him. It was if every nerve in his body was screaming and over-firing at the synapses ends. Panic; raw, sheer pain and panic vibrated through him. _

"_I said I wanted to know what you thought of it… not that you could escape," Pilot sighed, strolling forward with his hands in his pockets. _

_It took the boy a good long moment before he realized blood was trickling down his mouth, but this was different. It hurt like hell, but ordinarily someone dies from an injury like that. Spine severed, abdomen bitten clear in half; someone just doesn't live after something like that. _

"_You wouldn't kill your own body so easily," Eren laughed dryly, voice croaky as he coughed up the blood that was nothing more than an illusion. The casket spread apart and the boy stumbled out onto the more solid ground. _

"_Smart little fuck, aren't you?" _

"_Hope." _

"_Huh?"_

"_The light… it's hope," Eren wheezed, still recovering from the pain that the shock had created. _

"_You want a gold star and a cookie?" Pilot sneered, sighing as he watched his host slowly regain composure. "It's a common energy source between us, besides _hope_, you thick shit." _

_The snide creature walked closer until the boys were just inches apart. Pilot growled lowly, impatiently at Eren. It was so frustrating that all that stood in his way to complete control was such a weak-minded boy. Just one move and he could smother his little light like crushing a gnat between his fingers and yet he couldn't bring himself to do it. Something about him put a stop on all of Pilot's moves. Was it his tenacity? His determination? Or was it that he didn't need a parasitic soul's presence to hold a thick darkness within him? Whatever it was, Pilot despised it. _

_It was a strange relationship to hate the two divided parts of yourself. One was forged in impossible circumstances and the other in malice, and yet you couldn't help but empathize with the other's actions. You simply understood. You didn't really dig deep into the motives because you already knew why. Pilot looked down at his feet. He was losing shape again. His skin, borrowed from Eren, was blackened and the only thing that really defined him was the uniform that clung to him, the outfit quite smart despite the circumstances. _

_Eren felt those feelings resonate through him as they both let the conversation die in the darkness around them, the light still shining brightly above. What did a common energy source even mean? Hope, sure, but something you fed off of? After a little thinking the boy put two and two together. It was the basal instinct and will. It was survival and the gaping scar on Eren's heart. _

_When he looked up from the ground Pilot saw the determined look on the boy's face. He wasn't angry, at least not at him, but he was definitely certain. He stuck out his hand firmly, face never wavering in intensity. _

"_What are you doing?" The creature drawled, leaning back on its heels. _

"_You were telling Levi I had three choices, or something… right?" _

"_So?" _

"_So? Truce," he nodded stiffly, shaking his hand a little as if to say, "Take it! I don't have all day." _

"_I'm not calling truce with a snot like _you_!" Pilot snapped, eyes narrowing defensively. _

"_It's your best bet because so help me God, I will end our lives if you go off the straight and narrow you are always wandering away from," the boy hissed, speaking through gritted teeth. _

"_And what if you don't live through it?" Pilot sneered, flashing his white teeth. _

_Eren hadn't really thought much about not surviving. He'd always moved through each day without much care, obediently following Levi's orders and laying low. Being part titan he'd always figured that whatever damage was done, it would be repaired. Now, though… now he faced a possibility that if he embraced that darkness bubbling within him, that it might swallow him whole. But that didn't matter. He had to try. _

"_I'll expend every last breath I have killing us both," Eren grinned challengingly, hand still extended. _

_Lips parting a laugh of amusement, Pilot took the boy's hand with a firm grip and whispered, "You're pretty fuckin' stupid, Jaeger. Mistake." _

_The boy's mouth opened in a gasp, a strange, indescribable sensation lurching up his arm and then nothingness. Not pain, not regret, not anger, not relief; nothing. It was dark all around and there was no light. Pilot was gone and the room was a vast, endless ocean of painfully silent thoughts. It was all the accumulation of instinct and emotion liquefied and Eren was drowning in it. _

_Back in his head Pilot licked his lips and chortled, cracking his knuckles and rolling his head around his shoulders. Bones popped as air and fluid were released between them. His body was limber and he felt whole, not cramped. Boy, was that kid stupid. Testing his own faults. It's like betting against a card you know is going to lose. _

"_Dumb kid," the cretin snickered, settling down in the vast consciousness of total control. "Exhausting shit, existing," he groaned, falling back onto a soft bed of the darkness and closing his eyes. Nap time. _

Everything teetered on that letter. It was a thinly pressed piece of parchment with beautiful curls and jerks of vivid crimson ink—a mark of the king himself—raced across the page. At the bottom an exquisite signature traveled from edge to edge before finishing in an embossed red rose. There wasn't a single imperfection about the note other than its plans. What was the kind really thinking? It was rather funny anyone called him a king at all. He knew nothing of political tactics and battle stratagem. If not for his royal lineage people would just think he was a nice old man.

Despite everything, he couldn't deny a direct order from the king. Even so, acting in the king's orders would be going over not just the court's heads, but Levi's. Nothing had ever hurt worse than the corporal's bitter disappointment. The first time Irwin had lead a squad into an uncharted area and men, just six, died Levi's trust had never been more tested. He'd been nothing more than a recruit then, barely pushing over seventeen, but he was just as vicious. "You said none of them would die," he'd muttered as he stood over the body of one of the few who'd managed to get close to him. "You said they would survive!"

Irwin rubbed his temple as he sighed through his nose. His eyes scanned over the letter again and, no, he hadn't misread anything. Clear as day, written in beautiful red cursive, was the king's final order. It was a discovery from within, the spotting of a spy and the catch was almost too big. A throbbing headache began to radiate from the temple the man was failing to massage into numbness.

"I can't tell which I fear more… the wrath of the king… or Levi's," the man groaned, smacking the letter back against the desktop.

The recruits' quarters were an interesting set up. The girls bedrooms were intermingled with the boys, often the two sharing rooms just because of space issues. The Scouting Legion had some faith in human self-control and respect for your fellow soldier. Jean, unfortunately, was confined to his own room seeing as his roommate had been killed.

Hanji was haunted by the look on the boy's face as he rummaged around on the underside of his mattress for the thing he was looking for. It was mix of grief and fear, but he never stopped looking. When he'd found the small square of paper he hesitated. The face that stared back at him, warmly smiling, was one that haunted the boy's dreams and nightmares. His thick black hair that accented his freckled face; everything about the picture filled Jean with regret. Nevertheless, Hanji needed to see it.

"This is who I saw," he whispered, handing the photo to his leading officer.

"So this is Marco, huh?" She noted to herself, mulling over the boy's face. She'd never met him. "He died on the second appearance of the colossal titan, didn't he?" Jean nodded. "So how'd you see him?"

The question seemed to stupefy Jean. He opened his mouth, but only a soft noise of confusion escaped him. He swallowed the cotton-mouthed sensation, but still his words escaped him. He turned slowly to Hanji and simple said, "I don't know…"

It seemed like eternity stretched out between the two as Hanji stared into the face of the boy as if something was wrong with it. She'd remembered this kid's name on the list of dead and burned, but Jean seemed absolutely adamant that he was the one he'd seen. Marco Bodt… the impossible man.

There was no denying it, though. The boy was more shaken up than mixed drink. Now, she'd heard of people in mourning hallucinating the vision of someone they loved, but this was different. She'd heard what he'd said. He was with those flowers that had incapacitated a whole army of the nation's best fighters. There was the reality factor.

Hanji let her gaze fall rise to Jean, the boy just a few inches taller than herself. She was always so used to taller people being proud, standing tall and mashing her hair. Though, seeing Jean now, he'd never looked more beaten down in his life. His face was pale and tears welled in his eyes as if the thought of Marco somehow, someway being alive was too much to bear. Even so, he knew deep down that it was impossible. It must have been a trick of the light or a fabricated sight. Marco was never coming back. He died protecting Jean and it was his fault. No one would want to come back to see someone like _him. _

A sigh escaped the woman as she tucked the picture into her uniform pocket and wrapped her arms around the boy's middle. He flinched at first, but soon he softened, slumping over her shoulders. She didn't say anything at all, she simple stood there in support. The silent room was filled with the faint sounds of Jean's whimpers as he bit back a loud, childish sob. He'd lost the person that was the most important to him and it hurt indescribably so, and that was a feeling that Hanji understood all too well. She hadn't joined the corps alone. No, she went with her brother who was afraid of dying. She watched his back and helped him fly through the air like he'd always dreamed. And then his wings were clipped.

The woman's eyes focused on a distant place in her memory where her brother's body lie, encased in a casket of other bones, too broken and dismembered to make out to whom they belonged. He'd pushed her out of the way again. She was too careless and she lost someone dear. That's exactly how Jean had felt. It was all his fault and no one could tell him right or wrong because they didn't really know. When Hanji had been that weak, Levi held her until she'd passed out from crying to hard. The pain was unbearable like the weight of every petty sin had accumulated on her heart and was crushing her. It was the pain of someone's soul crushing against yours.

In the cold of the silent night Hanji released Jean. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his head, still trying to hide the fact that he was crying. The woman sighed, laughing through it as she, too, choked back a good cry. She shook her head and smiled, patting the boy's shoulder.

"We'll find out who did this… okay?" Jean nodded. "Now go back down to the gates and keep watch. Your shift will be over in a few hours anyway." Again the boy nodded before turning out of the room and letting silent tears roll down his hot cheeks.

Back inside the room Hanji coughed, clearing the sensation of pity and wallowing out of her body. She hissed in a deep breath through her nose, straightened her back, and left to find Levi. There were mysteries to be clarified and points to be solved… wait a minute… that's backwards.

Levi stared out of his bedroom window and felt the cold breeze cut through him. It was like a mix of confusion and utter certainty toiled within him. His piercing gaze found Jean walking back out the gates meaning that Hanji was certainly on her way up, but he tried not to think about it. Deep down his guts twisted in a way that hurt not like a stabbing pain, but a nauseous uncertainty that contorted his insides. He paced around the room, willing the sick feeling to leave him, but it gnawed on his peace no matter how he tried to ignore it.

Before long Hanji was knocking on the doorway, her face a bit strange as she faced the corporal. She shrugged it off as she pulled the picture from her pocket and handed it to him. At first Levi wasn't sure what to do with it, but as he looked closer, flipping the photograph over, he saw the dates.

"He's dead," she muttered. "Jean said he saw this kid drop the flowers into the food… but he's dead. So what does that mean?"

Levi looked up at her, eyes sharp. "Why didn't you take this to Irwin?"

Something shone in the woman's eyes as she flashed a sad, tired smile down at him. She laughed through her words as she murmured, "Because he's hiding something… and I'm not about to let him find out anything else."

The man nodded, looking at the smiling, freckled face in the photo again. He hadn't even made it past the second invasion let alone entering the corps. But if he was seeing people who couldn't exist… and Dell could alter his face at will… no… right?

"I think it's time to confront him on this," Levi said curtly, brushing past Hanji who wobbled as he brushed against her arm.

"Nobody is going to get hurt again… right?" She snapped just before the corporal was out of earshot.

Silence put an ocean between them as Levi's eyes stared off into the unlit darkness of the hall. It was painfully symbolic, really, the darkness. It was so vague and vast, yet he knew the other wall was right there. Even so, the shadows seemed truly infinite. Though, everyone knows that no matter how impossibly wide the chasm, in the end, there is another side. He took in a deep breath, let his hand fall away from the doorframe, and muttered a faint, "Right."

The moment Hanji was alone her eyes spilled over with hot, painful tears, but she did not waver. She stood talk, body encased in a pure, white moonlight. No one can hide from their demons forever. Out in the hall Levi stopped and closed his eyes, his heart twisting at the sound of Hanji's choked sobs as broke down. No one would get hurt… not this time. This time… _everyone_ would survive.

**A/N: HAHAH Didn't expect this chapter to be broken into parts, did'ya? *smirk* **

**Wow *heart pounding* That actually got me all spooked. Maybe something to do with the new episode I just finished? YIKES! What a heartbreaking ending! *shakes tears out of eyes* **

**Anyway, I'm only breaking up this chapter b/c of two things. A, it's gonna be a hUGE plot twist in the next one and I love to watch you guys come up with theories and think things out and B, I want to build up reader's suspense. **

**(C, I actually do need to get some studying in, hehe) STICK AROUND AND FIND OUT THE NEXT BIG TWIST~ **


	11. Chapter 11

_They say that when you're on the brink of giving up, destroying yourself your own demons manifest inside. It's like a vast, dark ocean that's a constant rolling storm and you're weathering it in a rowboat. At first it just seems like an irritation, something you travel through forever, but then the waters roughen. The boat begins to rock softly, but you know a deeper unsettling feeling is pulsing beneath the surface of those stirring waters. Just when you think you'll be fine, that the waters are just ebbing and flowing as life dictates, the storm creeps from behind. The wave of your suffering, pain, memories, and actions swells just out of the corner of your eye. By the time you notice it, it's far too late. Everything you cannot bear to hear, think, or say crashes over your head and suddenly you're drowning. The storm crushes down and the words of the wicked and the whispers of the cruel shoot holes in your patient, merciful heart. And then, just when you think you've died from it all—the sensation of pain, grief, and utter loneliness—you open your eyes. The storm is still churning and twisting over your head, above the surface. It's deafened to your ears, but you watch anyway. It's so quiet beneath the surface, floating in the endless space were you're numb to the core. Sure, the cold is a constant reminder that you lost and it hurt like hell, but you can't feel that anymore. You can't see anything except the storm and the empty space of eternity and that's okay. You're content. Why? Because you've lost all autonomy, even your own identity. This was exactly Eren's thoughts as he watched the brewing tsunami dance maliciously above his eyes. _

_I bet it's loud up there… _

_This time, no reply comes. No hissing voice of doubt or constant reminder that its hatred was simply a penance. Slowly the boy blinked and stared up the vast watery surface, glimmering with a light unseen. It was actually quite beautiful despite its deeper meaning. He didn't want to think about that. Eren closed his eyes and tried to envision forgetting. It was easy now. It was simple as closing his eyes and whispering, "I want to forget." _

"Irwin," Levi growled, pushing the door open to the man's office only to find it hollow. The tall, proud blonde was nowhere to be found.

Inside the office things were unusually tidy, even for Irwin. The desktop was clean and the fireplace was stoked, a crackling blaze warming the room as if he'd intended to be there for the night. A crisp sheet of parchment sat on the desk, skewed to the right indicating that it was, indeed, Irwin who'd been sitting there. Ink and pen was ready, but the man of the hour was missing.

Looking back over his shoulder, Levi shut the door and locked the deadbolt. He would have little time to search for that damn letter before the giant came thundering down the hall in search of the noise Levi was inevitably going to make. There wasn't time to be stealthy and cat-like when there were lives almost indefinitely on the line.

Instantly Levi went to work, overturning small boxes and flipping through books looking for places that Irwin might have crammed the letter. What seemed like an hour ticked by while the short man paced the room, anger rolling like a storm in his body as he searched high and low. The desks drawers were empty to the point of curiosity. In fact, the entire room was far too clean to actually be lived in. The man turned his sharp eyes to rafters. If there was anyone who could spot a speck of dust from twenty feet off the ground, it was the corporal. Though, he hardly had to look very hard. Above his head cobwebs draped every surface like sheets of thin, ghostly silk fluttering in a thin breeze. "What?" The man growled, eyes narrowed in disgust.

However, it wasn't just the rafters. Upon closer inspection just about everything was coated in a layer of dust thick enough to change the color of the wood of the bookshelves. The mantle on the fireplace, floor, and desktop was actually the only truly clean surfaces. It was like everything that wasn't cleaned had been there for ages while the rest had been moved in to look spick and span. Another thing, Levi couldn't really recall cleaning this room or entering it much at all. The whole time Irwin said not to enter unless truly necessary, but even that in itself was an off-kilter warning. Something was wrong.

Eyes casually surveying the room Levi caught something flapping in the fireplace. He turned and knelt, staring at the dancing piece of char wedged between two well-lit logs cracking against the stone. It first it looked as if a leaf had gotten clenched between the two wooden blocks, but it wasn't that at all. The corporal cursed at himself as he saw the paper twist just in time for him to see a ribbon of red ink blistering into ash, spiraling into the chimney and into the night. "Damn it, Irwin," he snapped, grunting in frustration. All evidence had been destroyed.

Well, there was no real use idling around a warm fire. Besides, Levi's anger was enough to keep him snugly heated. He pushed himself off against the oriental carpeted floor and turned back to the door. Just for a moment his heart nearly leaped out of his mouth as he saw Irwin staring down at him. The man had his hands folded tight behind his back, one hand slipping over the doorknob and shutting it with a loud, frightening click.

"What was in that letter, Irwin?"

Brushing it off, the blonde simply walked past Levi and lowered himself into the chair helming the massive wooden desk. His blue eyes seemed distant like a daydream swimming in buzzing thoughts. Habitually he wove his fingers together and perched his lips against them, room still silent with uncertainty. The entire castle could have crumbled around them, the woods flattened out in a perfect circle around an unseen explosion and that still would not top the shock of the icy look on Irwin's face.

"Levi, do you remember the day that I grabbed you off the streets?" Irwin muttered after a long, chilling quiet. Even so, the corporal knew it wasn't a question he was meant to answer. Of course he remembered. "You came at me with a knuckle blade, remember? Heh… you thought you were going to take me out, too," the man nodded, a faint, nostalgic smile crossing his hard face. "You attacked me because it was instinct… you were hungry and you didn't care who I really was, you cared what I had to offer you. Which was money. Levi, what do you think Eren's monetary value is to that thing inside of him?"

Suddenly the air became frigid. All this time the corporal's thoughts were being spun around as that thing played with his head and he'd never even thought about what he was really doing. It was just a game. "Eren's consciousness is gold to that creature," Irwin nodded, no longer beating around a sentimental, metaphorical bush. "And if you think it hasn't already won I question your judgment."

The corporal stared off into the distance and thought back to how Eren reacted when he told the boy he was cut from the corps. It was strange, almost as if he didn't put up a big enough fight. Ever since he'd met him Levi knew Eren as a fiery, vengeful wreck and yet he seemed to bark once and storm off in anger. It was almost as if he was reserving his energy for something else, like the argument wasn't worth the air. It was weird. Oh, God.

"It's made a name for itself, hasn't it?" The blonde yanked the corporal's attention back to the desk where he sat. "If it's made a name then it's formed its own conscious. Eren's strong, but his motives are weak."

_Think if you want to live… what makes you human, Eren? _

"Levi…"

"He's my charge!" The man snapped, fists balled, but face never twisting in rage. He stifled the bubbling anger within him. "I swore under oath that I would end his life if this thing got the best of him, you got that?!"

"Levi, the king-," Irwin began.

"The king can kiss my ass! I will take him out of this world if he is a threat!"

A rigidity reminiscent of a corpse filled Irwin as he looked up at Levi who'd slammed his hands against the desk, eyes sharp like tacks. For just a split second the commander was reminded of the fiery thug that had lunged for his throat. It had been a long time since he'd seen a real flame flickering behind Levi's calculating glower. At first it seemed frightening, almost like a monster twisting inside, but then again, Irwin knew better. He smirked and nodded.

"I'm sure he'd love to hear that," the blonde responded flatly, hands still tucked neatly beneath his chin. "But you no longer have the authority here."

The doors to the office swung open with a bang and Hanji stumbled forward, arms bound behind her back. She screamed something through her cloth gag, but it only came out as a confused cry for help. She shot her eyes over to Irwin who simply looked back at her as if nothing was out of place. Two large men in 3D gear stepped into the flickering orange light of the fire, their faces unfamiliar. "Corporal Levi, at the present I am forced to relieve you of status."

"What the hell is this, Irwin," the man hissed, anger twisting into betrayal.

"We've been getting constant messages of a spy in the inner walls who's been sending messages to our troops. Both you and Hanji were seen hiding information." Irwin looked into the darkness of the hall and made a motion for someone standing in the shadows to enter. Levi's eyes immediately snapped back, bulging at the pitiful face that drew forward, head down.

"You little shit… you've just cost your friend his _life_!" Levi roared, grabbing Jean by the collar as he trudged forward. At first he looked unapologetic, but upon closer inspection it seemed like the ashen blonde seemed to be in a state of utter shock. He probably wasn't even aware of where he was or what he'd done.

"I'm not saying that you two did it," the commander shook his head. "I'm just saying that there's too much evidence pointing to the obvious."

"We're not the spies!" Hanji shouted when she'd shaken her gag away. "You're ordering the murder of a kid, Commander!"

"You're in no position to talk, Hanji," he said coldly, her eyes widening as tears rolled down her bruised cheeks. This wasn't right. None of it. Who was this man talking?

Without a word Irwin stood and began moving toward the door. He barely acknowledged either of the formal scouting legion members as he muttered something to the muscle heads flanking the door. It was almost as if the scene was just another sight being a part of the survey corps. His apathy only added fuel to the fire within Levi who spun around and reached out for the man. One arm of the guard came up and blocked him off, but it didn't stop him.

"We trust each other. The flag is a family and you'll die for another? You're so full of shit, Irwin! You're nothing but a fucking liar!" Levi growled, fists shaking. Hanji's heart skipped a beat as she saw the blood run between the corporal's knuckles. He'd been digging his nails into his palms that hard?

"I'm only doing this to protect the many… not save the one," the blonde called from over his shoulder.

"You're his fucking _hero_!" Irwin stopped in his tracks as if the words were knives that cut through him. Seeing his chance, Levi continued. "When I got his release in court it was _you_ he was excited to be working under! I only proved he was weak and scared the shit out of him, and look what you've done! You only see what you expect to!"

There was so much at stake and no time for Irwin to be acting like a selfish child who kissed ass to a faulty king. Levi dug his nails into the arms of the men blocking his way, eyes wide as he waited for the blonde's next words. It was like pins and needles settled against the back of his neck, adrenaline throbbing through him. If this didn't work, it would be all over.

"I didn't expect anything less than success from Eren," was all Irwin could say before he disappeared into the shadowy hall, gear clicking against his thighs. His response was like gunfire in a world of silence. Levi couldn't believe it. He wasn't the type to show emotion even in the hardest of moments, but he'd never seen the commander act that way. Cold, sure. Orderly, always. But not cruel. Not like this.

An anger like no other raged within Levi as he let his gaze fall flat. His jaw clenched tight as he dropped his hands from the arms of the thugs, bangs falling over his livid gaze. His fists balled as he took a step back and knelt down beside Hanji. The woman had thick, childish tears rolling down her sun-kissed cheeks, fogging her glasses. Without truly looking at her the corporal untied her gag. At first Hanji stammered, trying to explain, but her voice caught up in her throat as the sobs overtook her.

"L-Levi," she managed before the man flashed something frightening. A smile.

"You heard him," Levi snickered, rising from his crouch, hands clutched tightly around a glimmering blade. "We met between the space of life and death." Like his body was made of water the man turned fluidly, eyes still hidden in the screen of thick, ebony bangs.

In a shockingly graceful lunge Levi nearly crushed the knuckle knife into the first thug's neck, holding the other's with nails digging in deep. Ribbons of blood seeped from where the man held the thug in place, the blade grazing the skin of the other. Like a curtain falling away from a stage did the man see the furious look in the corporal's eyes. It was as if an animal had possessed him to the point that all humanity had been drained from his body.

"You see," the corporal whispered, the thug frozen in fear as Levi tore through the skin and buried his nails into the muscles of his neck. "I never really left that behind. What is done is done… and it's in your fucking blood. That… you cannot escape."

Hanji's hazel eyes widened in horror as she watched the eyes of one of the thugs roll back into his head, the blood dyeing the white shirt crimson as blood gushed from his neck and soaked Levi's hand. She'd never seen a side like that in the corporal. It was too much. This wasn't right at all. Though, the more and more she screamed at her mind to tear her eyes away the harder it became. She felt her eyes burn as she refused to blink, afraid the moment would wither in her mind.

Primal fear filled the woman as she watched the thug held behind Levi drop to the ground, his mouth gaping in a silent scream as he drowned on his own fluids. Bloody foam gargled from his mouth as his entire body fell into a seizure of fear and pain. Hanji found her own cries of terror choking in her throat as she clasped a hand over her mouth as if the very sound would shatter the quiet swirling just outside the room. It was as if they were in a pocket of time and space, unreachable to all not witnessing the moment. Nothing existed outside of that office.

When she turned her confused gaze back to Levi was simply postponing the man's inevitable end in one last effort to make him beg. It worked. The thug began pleading, saying he had kids and a wife, but nothing mattered to the corporal. None of it mattered. With one clean swipe his life was over. Levi dropped the thug's corpse as if it were trash, his head barely attached by a cracked spine, muscle and skin. At last Zoe let out a pitiful cry of shock, entire body trembling with nightmarish images flickering through her head. She wanted it to stop. She wanted everything to just stop.

"Hanji," the name echoed through the room, the gargling and sobbing replaced by the complacent crackle of the evening fire. She looked up to see Levi looking at her with faint concern, careful not to touch her face as he was covered in blood. "Are you okay?"

At the sound of those words the woman collapsed. She fell forward into Levi's arms, sobs echoing down the hall and shattering the silent bubble of time. Her shoulders trembled as the painful cries escaped in choked hiccups. She couldn't be the strong, hopeful one. Not then. She was afraid. People were dying, the blood ran in ribbons, and she was afraid.

"Stop this… please," she stammered, tears and snot running down her face. "None of this has to be done…"

"I have to go," Levi whispered, pressing an apologetic kiss to the top of the woman's head. "I'm sorry."

"You said people wouldn't get hurt!" She called as the corporal made his move to leave. "Yo-you said…"

For just a moment Levi turned back and showed just a blink of regret that flickered across his face. He shook it off and muttered something vaguely similar to, "Necessary evils." Not sticking around to hear her painful words the corporal walked into the dark hallway. He had to get some gear before the stench of iron and murder bled into the air. Eren could be gone, it was possible, but he'd sworn to that kid that if nothing else, his life was in Levi's hands. And, on a blood swear, his hands alone.

The dungeon had almost become a foreign place since Irwin had last been in its dingy depths. He lit one of the torches and looked deep inside. All the doors were locked tight and Eren's prison sat at the far end of the hall with a chair sitting in the front of it. Though, with his long stride, it took all of about five steps to face the cell.

"Jaeger," the man called. It was painfully dark in the farthest corner of the hall. Cursing to himself, the commander turned and set a second torch ablaze. The moment he looked back into the cell a wave of confusion crashed over Irwin. "Damn it."

Turning back toward the stairs, his head raced with thoughts. No one had called a report and even if they did, what could they really say? My friend walked right past me and endangered his own life, therefore I didn't really feel like stopping him? That castle had too many convenient nooks and crannies for a young teenage boy to slink into and it was making the confirmation of the mission all that much harder.

You see, the cell was empty. It seems the songbird has finally flown the cage.

Oh, to be free. Liberation in all senses is like no other. Having monopolized senses and memories was almost as unreal as the nightmarish dreams Pilot had been living all his life. He chuckled richly as he strolled down a secret passage, kicking at the mice and rocks beneath his feet. He'd been so cooped up that he'd never truly appreciated evolution's little gifts. Touch, smell, hearing, and sight were among his favorites. He could take in the deep, earthy smell of mildew and damp mold that blanketed the walls and crude, low rafters of the passage. The little scampering feet of the rats were like fingernails drumming on a table top but lightly and full of frenzy. The lack of sight only enhanced the sounds and smells that much further. The texture of the moist stones beneath Pilot's fingers was strange. Rough, but also smooth. It was all so… amazing. Though, the creature couldn't get too off-task.

After closing his eyes and feeling along the wall a little further he found the turn in the path. He rounded the corner and found an infinitesimal gap between the stones, but it was enough. It took a minute for the being to get used to the bright moonlight. Once his vision focused he saw the courtyard span out for what seemed like forever. Though, more interestingly, Levi was walking quickly over the stones, gaze looking left and right. He'd strapped gear to his belts and stopped dead center of the massive space and waited, arms folded over his chest.

"And so the clock strikes twelve," Pilot whispered delightfully, heading down the faintly lit passage towards a bigger beam of light. He couldn't waste another moment in the grungy under-paths of the castle. After all, this was his cue.

The courtyard was like a graveyard in silence. Blood faintly printed Levi's path into the stones, but most of it had dried by the time he'd reached the stopping point. If people were stationed around the walls on the outer perimeter, they were dead silent. The air danced in small circles around the cold stones, bits of pine rustling as they blew along the ground. The air smelled of rich smoke and cold, the scene almost signaling something ominous.

"Hehe, oh, don't you just look lost," a familiar voice snickered, Levi shooting his eyes to the dead center. The moment he'd looked away there Eren was. No… not Eren. "Like the look?"

"Your eyes," Levi called as he looked into the whiles of Eren's eyes.

"It's easy to repress your own evils when a second party isn't biting at the seams of things," Pilot grinned.

So he was gone. In the end, after all Levi had done, Eren had lost. Pilot reigned over his once passionate consciousness now concentrated on primal instinct. It wasn't so much sadness as regret that filled the corporal. This boy, this near child, had been so adamant on destroying the very thing that had eaten him alive. It disgusted him. How something so small and barely tangible had ended the life of someone so persevering. From the moment the boy had joined the corps the corporal knew that there was a darkness in Eren, but nothing like this. What stared at him from across the stone square was evil; raw, unbridled violence and rage.

Levi clenched his hands as his side as he let his bangs fall back over his piercing eyes. Act in the favor of the many over the one, right? It's better to save your team than one member, isn't it? It was hard to see that point as he looked back at the once-was Eren. He grinned darkly and pressed a hand against his hip, almost inviting Levi's revenge. _Come and get me_, the boy's face said, _I dare you_.

Deciding it for the best, the corporal stripped himself of the gear. The metal of the blade box and gas release clattered against the stone, almost ringing the bell for a fight through the air. Pilot laughed, immediately ducking low and shooting towards Levi. His teeth bared, the creature cackled. Once Levi was dead there would be nothing to bring that sniveling brat back.

The first impact was like a wave of recoil that shot up Eren's arm, fist crushing against Levi's shoulder. The man grunted, instantly moving and driving his right hook right up against Eren's sternum. Pilot hacked, eyes wide as every faint breath raced from his lungs. Before the boy had time to recover Levi had grabbed him by the back of the neck and raised his knee. The one thought before the corporal cracked Eren's face over his kneecap was, "Oh, god."

Blood gushed from the boy's nose when the corporal pulled him limply upright, fist clenched around his thick brown hair. Levi balled his fist and punched the boy clear across the face, a tooth rolling against the stone as he attempted to look back. Pilot sneered, blood running down his lips and nose. Everything about this creature disgusted him. He'd taken so many lives, cost the sanity of a boy barely old enough to fight in the war, and worst of all, he was wearing the mask of Eren's face.

Over and over Levi ground his knuckles into the bones and blood of the monster until he was wheezing and spitting blood. He rolled his eyes up to the corporal who had him kneeling against the stone. His arms were limp at his sides, but he didn't care. It would be over soon anyway.

"You fight like a little bitch," Pilot spat, rolling his tongue around his teeth until he found that his incisor had already regrown. "And you thought you'd be the one to motivate Eren to live? Tch. Pathetic."

"You do understand your life is in my hands," Levi scowled.

"Never thought much about it," Pilot shrugged. "You know, what exactly do you get out of being the kid to a pulp? He's not coming back."

"I'm not punishing the dead. I'm ending _you_!" Levi roared, bringing Eren's face down over his knee once more. "What you've done… who you are… The worst part… was that he trusted us… to keep him safe!"

Levi threw Pilot onto the ground, stamping down over his back. He knelt close to the boy, lifted him up by the hair and hissed, "Stay down, you trash." For just a moment he turned. He looked at his gear for a second, swallowed the cottony sensation in his mouth, and drew one of the blades. It gleamed in the pure moonlight, Levi's bloodstained face staring back at him. He was his own monster, but not this boy's. What haunted Eren had to die.

Ready to relieve the boy's suffering, the corporal turned. His eyes widened in shock as Pilot lunged forward again. In instinct he raised his blade at the ready, body rigid with fear. Blood ran down his arms and hit the stone in sick splats, but the moment still hadn't registered in his mind. The rich smell of iron burned the corporal's nose as Eren's body slumped against his chest.

"You… should never… h-hesitate, captain," the familiarly soft voice whispered, sputtering over blood and broken bones. Time stopped. Blood was gushing, tears were falling, but time itself had stopped… and Eren was dead.

**A/N: AHAHAHA I NEVER SAID HOW MANY CHAPTERS I WOULD DIVIDE IT INTO BUWAHAHHA!**

**So anyway. WOW this was intense to write. Also, the lights just killed at University and I was freaked out as fuck and let's just say I wanted to pass out glow sticks and cocoa, but off course uni has backup power. Stupid uni. **

***wipes sweat from face* Like, wow, guys. This chapter. I even drew stuff for it! Haha, why won't you guys take it? ; m ; *skips off to cram for psych and write the finishing touches for part 3* Also, it's so far from over. **


	12. Chapter 12

"E-Eren," Levi stammered, staggering under the deadweight of the boy.

The world was spinning and there was so much blood. A scream shot through the bitterly cold air and echoed up through the soles of the corporal's feet. He stumbled forward, blade still rammed between Eren's bones. The man clutched the boy's shoulders tightly before he fell forward onto the stone, unable to let him go. What was going on? What just happened?

Reality finally came back to him when two hands shook him by the shoulders, Eren's body still collapsed against his chest. It was Mikasa, eyes fiery as she screamed questions at him, tears spilling over her eyes. When did she get there? The girl was grabbing the corporal by the collar and shaking him violently, body shaking with anger and fear.

Hanji was running fast, hands covered in dried blood and face white as a sheet when she saw Eren leaning against Levi. She covered her mouth with the back of her hand, tears fogging up her glasses. Her lips mouthed the corporal's name, but he couldn't hear anything. It was as if he had wads of cotton in his ears while the world outside his head rolled like a storm on the seas.

_What… what just… _

As if a wave of sense had crashed over Levi he ripped the blade from the boy's chest, Mikasa's body shuddering at the sound of bones and flesh pulling against the metal. The corporal threw the blade aside and carefully laid the boy's body against the ground. There was no telling if trying to revive him was even worth the effort. Blood was pooling beneath him fast, the moon's bright light reflecting in the crimson puddle. They had to act fast or it would be funeral bells they'd be ringing in the morning.

"H-Hanji," Levi stammered, voice breathy and distant.

"Sir," she managed as she choked back her shaking voice.

"Run to the infirmary…"

"B-but sir…"

"We need bandages," Levi muttered again, eyes scanning over the boy.

"Levi," she whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Levi, he's-."

"Go get the goddamn bandages, Zoe, so help me!" He snapped, teeth gritting in a bark as he tore Eren's jacket away from his chest and shredded the tunic.

Without a second to waste Hanji began running to the medical supplies closet, hoping not to attract any more people. Mikasa was still frozen in a fatal cocktail of anguish and vengeance, but there was no time for that. "Ackerman, right?" The girl looked up. "Hold his head."

"What?" She snarled from between ground teeth.

"Hold his fucking head, did I stutter?" The girl didn't ask twice, she simple knelt down in the blood and lifted Eren's head into her lap.

If he wasn't facing the gates of God Mikasa might have thought he looked peaceful, sleeping under the great gnarled tree of their childhood. Ignoring the blood and the graveness of the moment, he could be somewhere safe. Far from the blood and the nightmares. Somewhere where Carla Jaeger was still alive and beckoning them home out of the cold and the dark. But for now he was lying in the arms of soldiers, body soaked with blood, and waiting.

"The blade… it, uh… it cut right through his heart, but he can regenerate. The question is how much juice he needs to jump start it," Levi nodded, cursing his shaking hands. Why couldn't he focus? He'd never lost it so much as he had around this damn kid. Wouldn't it be better if he died? No, no… then he'd have very little to fight for, wouldn't he? If Squad Levi died and Eren died… what else was there?

"Eren… he…" Mikasa began, biting her lip as she watched the life fade from the boy's face.

"What?"

"He told me about… how… he healed your hand," she nodded, eyes staring deep into the wound on Eren's chest. "His blood it… what if it worked in reverse?"

Levi's eyes looked at the faded scar on his palm. The spark that had jumped up through his arm echoed through his body and then things began falling together. What if. Though, Mikasa was already a step ahead of him. She'd drawn one of her blade and cut across her palm, blood running through the spaces in her fingers. She stared at it with disgust, but it had to be done. Blood spilt at that point was similar to pouring a glass of milk onto the floor after spilling a whole gallon.

Without even asking, the girl took Levi's hand, pulled it forward, and cut through the skin. She stared as the wound blossomed into a flower of deep crimson, the blood etching into the curves and lines of the corporal's palm. He clenched his hand into a fist and looked down at Eren. His face was losing color and his eyes were rimmed by the lifeless dark of death creeping into his bones. It was as if you could see the physical soul escaping him in color, like bleeding the pigment from a drawing until the world was a sickly monochrome.

People started noticing things and more noise picked up, but the corporal couldn't hear anything at all. Maybe Sasha screamed, maybe Connie held her tight to comfort her, maybe Armin came running up to see then staggered back in disbelief, he wouldn't know. Perhaps Hanji had returned, pale faced and horrified, maybe Petra was trying furiously to calm her down as Aururo cursed like it was already over. Gunther could have started locking down the headquarters gates, but none of it mattered. Levi couldn't see any of it.

Slowly Mikasa grabbed Levi's hand and pulled it out in front of him. The corporal's eyes met hers and in a silent, sultry eyed agreement they let their palms hover over Eren's wound. Blood seeped from their fresh cuts and dropped down onto the gaping maw of the boy's severed heart. His body twitched, but it wasn't enough to call his life saved. Levi pressed his hand into the wound, ignoring that the boy was already so much colder than he usually was. The girl pressed her palm over the corporal's as she let painful tears stream down her face. She'd lost him too many times to just quit now. He'd been eaten, absorbed, and bitten. You weren't telling her that it was all for nothing… right?

Not seeing any reaction Levi put more pressure on the heart, frustration itching at his calm façade. This kid wasn't dead. The end. No one could convince Levi otherwise because Eren Jaeger was not, _could not _be dead. The man dug his nails into his palm, blood running into the jolting muscle beneath his hand. Mikasa's whimpers started to fill the air and Armin tried pulling her back. She refused, whipping the blonde's hand away. She swore something at him, but Levi didn't catch it. He looked closely at the boy and saw the color flush back into his cheeks even though his heart was still frozen. Seeing the damage now, even if he _did _start Eren's heart, he would bleed out in seconds.

One nod of resolve and Levi was kneeling and shouldering Eren's middle, hands tight on his arms and legs. Mikasa screamed at him, but she didn't understand. He lurched against the deadweight at first, but caught himself in a wide stride as he headed for the main entrance. Armin called after the man, but it was like Levi couldn't hear anything but his own breathing and the faint sound of Eren's trembling heart.

_Nobody is going to get hurt again… right? _

Right. No one else was dying on his watch. Not Eren, not Hanji, not one of the nameless recruits; no one would die that night. Levi himself would move heaven and earth before otherwise.

As Levi stomped down the hall, footing loose as blood clotted on the print of his boots, not a single soul could bring themselves to say anything. Two recruits happened to be wandering by when Levi was grunting under the boy's weight, his blood and sweat masking the face of a truly persistent man. Blood spattered against the ground as he drug the boy closer towards the infirmary, but each step still felt like a foot in the sand towards the goal of a mile. His muscles were cramping and his hands were losing grip thanks to the blood that refused to clot.

"Levi!" A voice called, but he ignored it. He couldn't stop for anything.

The body attached to that convicting voice met his stride in half the number of steps that the corporal had to take. It was Irwin, face pale as he watched the small man shoulder such a frightening weight. Too much blood soaked the man from head to toe for it to be just Eren's. Then it had been him, the one that had killed those hired soldiers. "Levi… listen, you have to stop this."

"Go to hell, Irwin," the man muttered, biting back a scream as a gunshot of pain ricocheted through his body.

"This isn't what you think!"

"I think if you dig far enough you'll find your bastard ass at the devil's doorstep," Levi muttered, still having none of this man's shit today. He stopped for a minute, footing too uncertain to be comfortable. "These kids… keep dying," the man wheezed, body being crushed beneath Eren's increasingly cold deadweight. "And you're making nothing but an example of this corrupt hell they're crushed under letting it slide…" Irwin looked taken aback by Levi's words. Why wouldn't he just shut up for one minute? He didn't understand anything.

"Levi…"

The man took one misguided step and slipped. The commander jolted as Levi broke his fall against the stone with his knee. He ground his teeth tight and mixed a painful scream with a frustrated grunt. He seethed, teeth still clenched tight as the blood pooled around him. He wasn't sure that moving would be a good idea. His body froze in fear of shifting weight, blood seeming to cease pumping in fear of all movement. The corporal was almost sure that he'd just fractured his knee.

"T-Take him," Levi hissed, body slumping as Eren began to slide off of his back. Irwin quickly scooped the boy up into his arms. One look at him was all he needed to see that there wasn't much point in reviving a corpse. The cut was straight through his heart, flesh, bones, and blood all shredded as collateral damage. Whatever Levi saw, Irwin clearly wasn't. "We… we have to… get him to the infirmary," the man stammered, making an attempt at standing. He felt the stab of pain in his knee and thought it best to stop trying to stand.

"Levi…"

"I know that… there's something, one more thing… we can try that," he nodded, face paler than ever.

"Levi, he's dead."

"I'm gonna need a medic at this rate… shit."

"Levi, listen…"

"No! You listen here," Levi barked, eyes flared as he turned to Irwin. "He is not dead. Your back up _is_ dead. Now you carry him to the medic center before I call you out on treason."

Seeing no other way out of Irwin slugged the body of the boy over his shoulder and sighed. His eyes surveyed Levi and found the best method of moving them faster. One swoop and Irwin had hoisted the small man over his shoulder and began walking. At first the corporal protested angrily, but his knee began throbbing at all protest died in his throat.

"You wouldn't really call treason on me… would you?"

"Don't test me," Levi hissed, looking over at Eren's limp body. His hand reached out to the boy, but he was unresponsive.

The corporal remembered a time when that little soldier had flinched at his every move, jumping five feet out of his skin even if he sat down. Now he just hung there, body stained crimson and fingertips turning blue as they came closer to the door of the infirmary. "Remember when what you said was law… and we could trust that?"

"I hope it still can be," Irwin nodded, careful not to let his voice rise above a whisper.

"You may want to look up the definition of trust."

Unlike the rest of the world, the infirmary was a quiet beacon of cleanliness and solitude. No blood spatter sprayed against the wall, battered, dulled blades did not clutter the corners, and the only sound echoing within was Irwin's weighted footsteps as he approached a gurney. He set Levi down gently then lowered the boy beside him so that Eren was lying on his side, facing the corporal. Instantly the red raced across the sheets.

Silence died underneath Irwin's bloody boots that tracked striking red prints across the floor. Levi's sensed numbed as he looked at the boy. There wasn't much time at all. The commander paced the room, rubbing the spot between his eyes as he grumbled to himself. He couldn't simply explain what he was trying to do, could he? Not with what was at stake.

When the broad-shouldered man turned back Levi was opening the cut on his palm with his fingernails. Levi's face was dark, but never contorting in pain. The small man was tearing the shirt back from Eren's bloodied chest and examining the weakly healed wound. Only a handful of regenerative fibers had crossed over the boy's heart. The man cursed to himself as he saw a faint tint of blue enter the boy's lips. Time was running out. To Irwin, time was up.

Nevertheless, Levi leaned over the boy. He was looking worse and worse by the minute, but to him time had slurred to a jerky, dizzy stop. There was so much blood that the world began to look red. Not thinking, the corporal kept digging his nails into his palm as pain shot up his arm like a bullet. He ignored the sensation, eyes fixed on the gaping wound. He opened his mouth to say something, but the sound died in his throat. Finally, he choked out a noise.

"There… were cases of doctors who saw these wounds, like this," Levi said, voice flat and unsure. "And when they touched the hearts… they…" His voice faded.

"Levi," Irwin whispered, cautiously stepping on the eggshells of the situation.

"The pulse of the doctors revived the dead," the man finally spoke, eyes still wide, a dangerous look burning in his steeling eyes.

Before the commander has time to stop Levi the man had pressed his blood-stained hand onto the wound and through the sharp broken bones and flesh. He found the muscle and jolted to the wet, slimy sensation and the gaping hole rupturing its smooth surface. At first the feeling was gag worth, but over time he forgot about it. Pain cut around his wrist as the bones of Eren's ribcage bit like a rebellious dog at the man's attempt of revival. Then, it happened.

Like a gunshot through his head, Levi felt a violent electricity race up his arm and strike his own heart. He lurched forward, gasping as the deep, hot sensation sliced through his body. He coughed, swallowing some blood that had he'd spat up at the back of his throat. A response, if nothing else, was good.

The boy's eyes flew open, his mouth drawing wide in a scream. It was earsplitting. Irwin cringed, the sound waves nearly breaking the barrier. In the distance Mikasa turned her gaze toward the direction of the sound and felt her heart skip a beat. Eren was alive. Back in the infirmary Levi was gritting his teeth in his own muffle scream as the bones and flesh clamped down on his hand and sealed the wound around him. Irwin's eyes bulged in his head as he watched the boy gasp violently, still unsure if he was dead or alive. Sweat drenched his forehead as he gripped a hold of the corporal's wrist tightly, eyes staring at the man who loomed over him. It was real. Hot, pulsing skin that was the telltale sign of life.

"C-captain!" He gasped. "Ngh! Augh!" Eren screamed again, head bolting back as Pilot snarled like a dog for control. For a moment the boy's blue green eyes fell on an ebony backdrop as the creature desperately fought for supremacy. "_You little shit! This was my body_!" Irwin quickly gathered that the screaming match was not between Levi and Eren. "_Die already_!" Eren coughed up a mouthful of blood, the spatters spraying across the floor as he held tightly to the captain's arm, hand still encased around his heart.

"Eren!" Levi snapped, giving the boy's heart a jolting squeeze. "Fight it!"

"_Go to hell! He's lived long enough. Isn't that right, Commander Irwin? Stepping lightly and burning the evidence of condemnation. Oh, you're just too much. Cute enough to place the high and mighty when your subordinates are idiots,_" Pilot spat, blood running down his chin in sickening dribbles. "_What's there to hide now, huh? You were ordered to send this shit back to the castle for capital live dissection and execution!" _Making seizing movements Eren screamed at the top of his lungs, the darkness fading from his eyes. "D-don't… he's…" The boy stammered, body recoiling from the attack.

The moment they thought the world would end like popping a bubble Mikasa threw the door wide and nearly collapsed. Armin was pulling back on her, feverishly insisting that she shouldn't be in that room. She ignored it until Irwin, over six feet of sheer muscle and conviction, eclipsed her view and took one threatening stride out into the hall, shutting the door behind him.

Back inside the room Eren was grinding his teeth, gaze wide and frantic as he dug nails into Levi's arm. He was desperately fighting a battle unseen and all the corporal could do was sit there and watch it unfold. He leaned close and caressed the boy's neck, leaning into him as a half-hug. Levi was trying his hardest to convey some sort of support through the wild moment, He felt his eyes burn as he gripped some of Eren's hair. He couldn't say anything that would make it better. Nothing he had to offer would kill Pilot or take away the pain of that creature wreaking internal havoc on the boy's psyche or worse, his body.

Inside, Levi could feel Eren's heart pounding against his hand like a frightening drum. The muscle had healed, but now it was threatening to arrest and end the boy's life all over again. A faint whimper escaped the boy as his heart began to slow. His eyelids fluttered dangerously as his face turned from a flushed pink to a sickly white.

"Eren!"

The boy's body stilled, his shoulder relaxing and slumping back against the bed in a lazy sigh. His heartbeat slowed to a normal throb and his hair felt across his eyes, but somehow Levi knew it wasn't Eren.

"_I… I don't wa-want to die," _Pilot voice stammered, his eyes staring off somewhere into the distance. "_He's so fucking scared of being alone, but… h-he's got everyone… Mikasa… Armin… all of one-of-four… Squad Levi… and you. I've got his nightmares and bad memories._"

Without warning, Pilot shot up and grabbed Levi's collar, pulling the man close to his face. His breath smelled of dried blood and sweat, but the corporal didn't have time to take in sensory information. Eren's wild eyes were so green that they were practically illuminated. The creature stared deep into Levi's gaze before smiling softly. "_You hurt him… if you so much as let your feelings falter, I will take his body… and I will kill every last one of you_," Pilot whispered, snickering madly. _"It was fun, Rivi." _

The boy slumped backwards onto the bed, heart slowing to a peaceful pace. The muscle fibers around Eren's heart that had latched tightly to Levi's hand dissolved. The skin that had tried merging with the corporal's became pliable and he pulled his hand away. There was no blood or injury. Even Levi's cut had healed with a clean faint scar. The first reaction was to check the boy's vitals. He was breathing, his heart was pumping, and he flinched at the sensation of a pinch on his arm. He was alive.

In a great, shaky sigh Levi slumped forward on his hands. The back of his neck was sticky with sweat as it felt like he'd been running a marathon that never seemed to end. All the blood that soaked the sheets, his hand, and his clothes seemed distant, almost fake. He could barely remember hurting anyone, but there was so… so much blood. What had happened to those hired soldiers? Right… right, he'd killed them, hadn't he? Levi wasn't thinking then. He was simply acting in instinct. Protect what was his at all costs.

A faint gasp escaped the boy and his green eyes opened. Levi looked up in a fright and saw Eren frantically patting his chest, confused that it was whole. His eyes stared up at the ceiling for a long time, expression mixed with shock and relief. Then he realized where he was. His body shot forward.

"C-captain!" He gasped, forehead cracking against the corporal's. The boy recoiled, groaning in pain as he fell back against the bed, hand over his forehead. Levi growled angrily as he cupped his hand over the spot on his face where a bruise was sure to rise. Even so, he wasn't angry. "S-sorry, captain."

"Sorry!?"

The boy sat up slowly, eyes wide and hands gripping the sides of the bed. He stared at Levi for a length of time only akin to infatuation. His mouth jerked upward for a moment, unsure if he should smile at the corporal. The tired man barked, grabbing Eren by the neck. He shook him back and forth, lecturing him on how he'd given the corporal a heart attack and that the trouble he'd caused would lead to the dissolution of the Survey Corps as an entire militia branch. Some time in between shakes Eren started to laugh, tears welling in his eyes. He was so relieved. Sure, his neck hurt, but he was feeling something. He was alive.

Eren's body stopped shaking and his eyes popped open. By the time he could see straight and make heads or tails of the situation the captain's lips were locked over his. Eren's face burned red as the heat of Levi's lips crushed against his own. The tightness of the captain's hands on his face was intense, but so was the motion. The moment their lips parted Levi held Eren close. He was warm and alive; nothing else mattered.

The boy was just getting used to the familiar heat and the smell of Levi's skin when the door slammed open and the captain dropped Eren like a bag of bricks. He backed up two feet and moved so he wouldn't get crushed by Mikasa's bone-shattering hug. She embraced Eren like a brother she hadn't seen in years. Tears rolled down her face as she sobbed quietly into the red scarf tightly wound around her neck. She buried her face childishly in the boy's chest, legs weakening as he held onto his hand tighter than she ever had before. Armin stumbled after, letting out a sigh of relief at the sight of Eren sitting up in bed.

Moments after Sasha and Connie were fighting spots in the doorway to look past commander Irwin who did his best to block the way. Hanji shoved past, gasping with joy as she saw Eren tightly holding onto Mikasa. She beamed, lunging forward in tears as she wrapped her arms around the youth. Petra managed to squeeze between Irwin and sighed with relief as she saw Hanji back to her wild, blubbering self. Soon the hallway was swelling with people all pining for a glance at the immortal Eren Jaeger.

Between the hustle and bustle of the moment Eren snuck his hand from under Mikasa's leg and grabbed a hold of Levi's. No one saw through all the tangles of limbs and the memory was immortalized Though, the peace would not last for long. Irwin quickly pulled Levi aside and placed his large hands on the man's shoulders, looking into his piercing eyes for a way to convey to him that what he was doing wasn't treason.

"Levi," Irwin whispered, trying to create a bubble of solitude around them. "We need to talk."

"Yeah… we _do_."

**A/N: **

**BOOM! MAN that took a while. I had two papers, quizzes, night shifts at work, and personal drama. *furiously channels that into Only Human* Anyhow, I hope you guys are enjoying the wind down. Or is it? I know I said there are like 2-3 chapters left, but maybe more? *smirks* Also, GUYS THIS IS NOT OVER. I had a message review thinking it was done. HELL NO! Hahah, I've been drawing fanart, making fanmixes, and more~. Maybe when it ends a giveaway? *grins***


	13. Chapter 13

Outside the infirmary it sounded as if a grand party was muffled behind the closed door. The only source of light was the bright lanterns flickering inside room, casting an eerie, ghastly glow over Levi's back. When Irwin turned to look at the shorter man his anger was only intensified by the orange glow behind him. His patience had become paper thin and whatever the commander had to say, Levi hardly cared.

"Follow me."

"Where?" The corporal tilted his head, face darker as they proceeded into the darkness of the hallway. He pushed through the gripping pain radiating up through his leg.

Silence was louder than their footsteps as they turned into a wide corridor where beams of moonlight cut diagonal streaks across the wood and stone archways. From behind Levi could see how tense Irwin was. His shoulders were tight and his gait was forcedly wide. His hands were balled stiffly at his sides and his head was straight ahead. Everything about him was mechanical.

"To my office."

Inside the workspace it was almost as if nothing had been moved out of its place. No blood or bodies were to be found and the fire was crackling peaceful against the stony hearth. Levi furrowed his brow at the cleanliness despite his obsession with it. The compulsive clean probably stemmed from cleaning up evidence as a thug, but he couldn't be bothered to recall.

Irwin took a seat at the helm of his desk, rubbing his brow incessantly as he sighed heavily, He didn't know where to begin, but if he didn't say something quickly then Levi would already have the time to draw a blade up to his throat.

Looking up the man was surprised to find that the corporal was dropping himself into the tall-backed chair as if he'd never done any task more monotonously. He began picking bits of dried blood from beneath his fingernails as he waited for the commander to provide some excuse for his betraying actions. For a long time Irwin stared at Levi who occasionally shot the man a cold, piercing glance of mercilessness. His eyes seemed to say, "Try me… just try me."

"Levi," the man said softly. At the sound of his name the corporal dropped his hands into his lap, knuckles still bruising from the assault on the bouncers and carrying Eren on an injured knee. How he even managed the walk to the office was a feat in itself.

Without saying another world the commander slid an envelope across the wide expanse of oak. The man gave it a bored glance. It was a royally sealed envelope that had been closed again with a lumpy glob of red wax. The ribbon was crimped beneath the extra wax, bent upwards as if to flag Levi's attention. It was thicker than a vacant coat around a mysterious letter. Eyes moving to Irwin, fixed in a question, the man picked up the envelope.

A stroke of the thumb beneath the fold of thick paper popped the wax seal. There was a crisply folded letter inside. Levi pulled it from the sheath, eyes staring down at the lacey writing at the top of the page. It was much like an art in itself, the grandeur rose red ink. Commanding the attention of all who read was the exquisite signature at the bottom of the page dancing in a rich, crimson ink.

"The king…?"

"I didn't burn anything. What I burned… was my response."

"Irwin…"

"I will not hold either of you here… all I ask if that you read what it has to say and then tell me were those two men's lives worth it."

Leaving the room in a chilling cold, Irwin let the door fall shut behind him, the click sealing the room. Seeing that composure was no longer needed, Levi spread the letter across the table. His heart was pounding as his eyes raced over the letter. Disgust filled him as he read the undertones of corruption and lies in the words. Ruler of the people, my ass.

_Others have been discovered dwelling in the walls… _

What?

_They've been creating anarchy among the people, killing the innocent and sabotaging missions. We believe the boy in question, Eren Jaeger, is a part of their group infiltrating the ranks. _

Wait… what? What are…

_He is to be escorted back to the capital immediately. _

What are they talking about?

_He will be tried, a fixed court of the parents of his deceased peers. _

That's unfair!

_After he is sentenced he will be taken to the inner walls of the castle… _No… _dissection… conscious vivisection…_ They can't… _death classified by the courts. _This isn't right! _And he will be burned, dead or alive, to prevent regeneration. _

Levi cupped his hand over his mouth as all the blood drained from his face. He staggered against the pain in his knee as he fell back into the chair. He'd seen the inner walls of Sina's castle and it was not the gold and marble the world saw it as. Just beneath the platinum and glimmering copper accents and surface covers of silk and velvet lay the best kept secrets in all of the walls: what happened to the anarchists.

Nothing more than repulsion filled the man as he swept the papers off the desk, hand still over his face. A stabbing migraine was shooting through his eye, anger throbbing inside his head. Eren was alive, yes, but what would come of it? One measly troop of survey corps could not take down a vastly corrupt empire. And if they did, who was to say that people like the wallists and the governmentalists wouldn't strike back? That boy's being alive only condemned him further.

And just when he'd thought he'd saved him, too.

Levi looked down at the wood floor peeking out from beneath the thick carpet on the office floor and saw the rich blood stains. He'd killed those men so haphazardly. Darkness cast over him as he held his head in his hands. His shoulders hunched as he breathed out the memory and sucked in the road ahead. He opened his sharp eyes and stared out of the crosshatched windows, the fire's orange-gold glow flickering against the imperfect glass. Outside, over the wall, hunching at the top of the gently rocking branches sat a pair of glowing red eyes and a glimmering white grin. Levi's throat tightened in rage, teeth grinding.

"We came to fight a battle… but you are waging _war_."

An hour passed and all the soldiers were returned to their posts, a few to bed, and everyone commanded out of the infirmary. Eren sighed with relief as he sat up in bed, fingers idly running over the scar that was rapidly repairing itself with bountiful amounts of youthful collagen and fresh skin. By morning it would be a mere shadow of the hellish week he'd been fighting. Mikasa was tugged out by the sleeves to get some sleep and Armin waved the boy off for a good night's sleep. Soon it was just the boy and the quiet of the infirmary. He smiled to himself, finally having quite thoughts. It was so nice that he neither thought nor spoke. He kept it patiently still, eyes closed as he listened to himself breathe. Outside the leaves were singing on their branches and ushering in the cool winds of the end of the summer. Peace at last.

When Eren opened his eyes he nearly screamed. Corporal Levi was locking the door, facing the thick pane of wood. He sighed, resting his forehead against it. He spoke to the boy still facing the closed entrance.

"How's your heart?" He muttered, leg shaking in pain beneath the corporal's weight.

"Fine," Eren nodded, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the infirmary bed. "Captain… your leg."

"It's nothing," the man snapped, sweat running down the back of his neck. Eren wasn't stupid. He saw the muscles shuddering beneath the blood-stained pant leg. Something was very wrong, but considering the corporal's pride, "It's nothing," was the end of it.

"Eren, I think we've been operating under false pretenses," the man spoke, grinding his teeth in an attempt to dull the pain.

"What?"

A long silence cut through the room as Levi gripped his thigh, supporting himself with his good leg. The captain breathed heavily as he prayed for the pain to stop just long enough to move over to the bed. Levi sucked in a breath and hobbled to the bed, dropping himself down at the end and rubbing the sweat from his eyes. He sighed heavily and made a motion to the small standing cabinet beside Eren's bed.

"There's a bottle of scotch in there. Get it," the corporal said, hand still over his eyes. Eren reached down and pulled the bottle up, offering it to Levi. He grabbed it with lightning quickness and threw the bottle back. He guzzled it quickly, half of the alcohol gone by the time the boy had enough words in his head to form a question.

"F-false pretenses?"

"Oh," the corporal nodded, a dazed look crossing his eyes. "Right."

Anticipation filled Eren as he waited for the corporal to divulge information, the material clearly to be sensitive. Levi raised his finger as if to leave the boy hanging on a word. The man took another long swig of the liquor and exhaled in exaggeration. He set the bottle down on the ground with a heavy clunk and began rubbing his leg just above his knee.

"Someone in this squad is missing, but they have been for a while," Levi nodded.

"What?"

"Someone from your squad, too. We sent him back on his post, but I know he's not there."

"Wait, who?"

"Jean Kirschtein," the man nodded. "He's the insider."

Somewhere deep in the forest the nest of hybrids swelled like an ocean in a storm. A thunderous roar of low, grunting hums echoed from deep within the pines and oaks, crawling to the edges like the roots of the towering trees. Light died within the thicket of wood and fallen needles, only sound guiding victims to safety. Though, even that was taken from them with the incessant noise.

Eyes shooting around, Jean bucked against the cloth binds. His arms were tied behind him and knotted around the circumference of a frighteningly large tree. The boy threw his head back, eyes frantically trying to focus on the starlight flickering above. He could easily believe the forest was empty if not for the constant mashing of teeth, snarls, and fog-thick scent of rotting flesh. He gagged, gasping for clean air, but he was held in place. Hands pulled at his ankles, but he screamed, kicking them back in panic. He screamed in defiance at the monsters, throat raw with the constant howling.

"Enough!" A voice of mixed sound bellowed, the humming fading like water receding back from the shore. "Jean Kirschtein."

"Who are you?"

"It's an unnecessary luxury you won't live long enough to afford," the voice snickered, the multitude of voices blending into one. "Now… tell me… why isn't Eren Jaeger dead yet?"

"Ha? Why the hell would he be dead?" Jean barked.

"Mm? Oh. Well… I mean, that's disclosing a little too much," the hybrid clicked his tongue as he dropped from the tree and walked towards his captive. "Let's just say that finding you two fighting isn't uncommon and that's just what we need. Provocation, cause, and end result."

The snarling breath of the creature revolted Jean as it crouched in front of him, panting sickly. The boy roared, fighting the gagging sensation tightening around his throat. Bucking against the tight handcuffs, he felt his arm pop. A lightning bolt of pain shot through him, knocking the wind from his lungs. He slumped into himself, body trembling as he felt bones and tendons fight each other beneath the skin. So much was happening at once that his nerves were put against him in a massive overload of sensory information. His eyes shot up to the branches and his heart throbbed in panic as he saw dozens of glistening eyes narrowing down at him, flesh-filled teeth mashing together like a hound ready for the hunt. The roars slowly rose back up into the night and Jean was left in complete darkness.

What were those things? Why did they want him to fight with Eren? And what was that "end result" they were talking about?

Guard the front gate. That was his orders. Keep the entrance of the very stronghold he had infiltrated guarded. Make sure nothing, not even him, gets in. The immaculate, impregnable fortress of the headquarters was to be an example of the Survey Corps' might. So, no, he was not even supposed to be there. The hybrid grinned proud of his expert work in his one finely crafted skill. The face he'd taken was very attractive. He constantly caught the lingering eyes of women glancing behind them to take another look. The ashen-blonde hair swept over his sharp, commanding eyes gave him a strong look despite being so young. His shoulders were held back with nothing short of an inflating ego. This body was nice.

Unfortunately, the true Jean Kirschtein was bound and surely by now gagged deep in the forests were the screams sounded like wolf howls echoing in the vast distance of the wild. For now the hybrid would stand guard and wait for the messenger. Maybe they wouldn't send some illiterate ape pawing on its hands and knees. Just maybe he'd get someone who could carry on a chat about the current state of sabotage affairs. Seeing the animalistic movements and Neanderthal grunts coming from up the path, that would be incredibly unlikely.

The creature broke its wrist trying to stand to full height so the upright man simply knelt and pulled the object from the creature's jaw. It was hot and slimy, smelling light rotting flesh and blood. The things teeth were pretty tightly wound around it, so the proxy Jean had to tear some teeth and skin away before it came free. The animalistic hybrid then raced back on all fours in a limp like no other. Disgust filled the man as he looked down at the object in his hands. It was a picture of a boy, probably the same age as Jean, with dark hair that parted in the middle. His face was littered with freckles and his smile was warm like the sun.

_The sun, _the creature thought to itself, _I'll make sure these monsters never see that star again. _

"Jean?"

Levi clapped his hand over Eren's big mouth. The kid had so little tact it was funny how he'd gotten so far with his "kill-all" ploy. A breathless curse and the corporal was leaning back. Eren was busy working on Levi's knee, having pulled the man's blood-stained pants off of him. The boy still remembered the sound of blood and fabric peeling away from the corporal's skin, the room filled with the sticky sounds of Levi grunting and the removal of clothes. From the looks of it, the man had shattered his knee. That was pretty much a death-sentence to people in the corps had Eren not joined.

With precision Eren cut open the skin just deep enough to reach bone. He then turned the blade on himself, drawing an 'x' over his palm. Luckily he didn't have a command in mind so he didn't shift in the infirmary. That or Pilot wasn't feeling up to a full-on transformation. The moment Eren's hand hit the opening on Levi's knee sparks began suturing the bones. The corporal slammed his hand onto the bed, grunting as the injury fused tightly thanks to the blood throbbing through Eren's veins.

"Y-yes, Jean."

"Why's that?" The boy asked, pulling his hand away from the wound were the skin was threading itself shut on both ends.

"I sent him back to the front gate and he walked like a normal human being."

"And that's cause for alarm, how?" Eren blinked suspiciously.

"He'd just admitted that he'd seen the image of his dead best friend. You're telling me you'd walk away so casually after that?" Levi growled, testing his knee against the floor. Solid.

"Well… wouldn't you?"

This seemed to come as a surprise to Levi. He'd never thought much of his shortcomings being the fact that there wasn't room in that world to notice them. Cut, kill, survive. Seeing how he'd overlooked a major fault, the corporal shifted topics. He cleared his throat and stood to hide the alcohol.

"So you just died for nearly half an hour, how's it feel, Jaeger?"

"What a question to ask," Eren laughed nervously, hand still idly itching at the middle of his chest.

"Care to respond, shit for brains?"

"I see you're back to normal."

"Huh?" Levi growled, turning back with a knife stare.

"Nothing!"

Irritation, anger, and frustration. To say the least, things were much more normal than they'd been in a long time. Levi sighed with relief, though his face was still twisted in boredom. For now, it seemed like peace would reign.

"Oh," the proxy mumbled to himself, looking at the blood and saliva covered object. He sighed, scratching his borrowed ashy blonde hair. "Well, then… I better get to work."


	14. Chapter 14

For once in the week since Pilot's coming forth the castle of the Survey Corps headquarters were quiet. Mikasa had regained her solid, rock of Gibraltar composure and Armin had finally coaxed his blood pressure beneath dangerous levels. Connie had soothed Sasha with a cup of cocoa and a late night snack and for once Annie didn't seem so cold. Peace echoed through the halls as Petra and Christa worked on a feast, flower free.

The smell of rich chicken and vegetables wafted through the halls followed by warm bread and sweet desert smells. It was an occasion of celebration, after all. Ymir teased Christa from the doorway. The blonde girl shooed her "friend" away from the door, face pink as a fresh rose. Petra smiled in a way that echoed maternal affection as she stirred a pot of rosemary seasoned chicken and dumplings. Potatoes and carrots floated in the stew and danced in the entire room.

"Is it done yet?" Sasha swooned, shoving Ymir aside for a second time.

"Sasha!" Ymir growled, the girl deafened to the sound. She was too entranced with the savory smell of chicken.

"Alright, alright. Out, girls," Petra smiled, closing the door.

Once the brass locked clicked Ymir barked at Sasha. "This is all your fault!" She roared, Sasha cowering. She laughed, backing up.

"Just checking up on everyone!" She laughed nervously, turning and bolting down the hall.

When she slammed into Bertholdt she could only smile, panting as she was out of breath. Sure, he'd scared her right out of her skin and Ymir was bound to tear into it, but people were smiling. Food was being cooked, no one was masking fear and horror as something profoundly unknown faced them, and slowly things were becoming like they were.

Eren was finally able to leave the infirmary after Irwin and Levi watched him get a full checkup, Hanji turning him every which way. She constantly stared at the scar over the boy's chest, but found nothing wrong with his mental or physical state. After he'd run off to find his friends she began to speak.

"He may be physically and mentally sound… but he's not emotionally stable," she muttered. "Levi…"

"What?" He growled, shooting her a dirty look.

"You know _what_," She whispered, pressing her hand onto his shoulder before she left.

Irwin looked at Levi with utter curiosity and shock. How did something run under his nose so carelessly? Levi avoided the man's eyes and grumbled, crossing his legs uncomfortably. The blonde rolled his eyes and sighed, rubbing the space between his brow, head shaking.

"Humanity's greatest soldier can't handle his own problems. I feel a rank demotion," Irwin sighed dramatically, Levi's eyes popping as he shot the man a dirty look. "Glad to see you're back to your old self," he grinned, patting the man's back. So it was just a provocation. How rude.

"Do you think he's seen enough hell?" Levi murmured, face never leaving the perch on his palm.

"Are you asking me that… or yourself?" Irwin asked, tilting his head a little as he headed for the door. "If there's ever a better time to flush out oppressive secrets, this between the attacks of this coup is best."

With that Irwin left to organize the restocking of the supplies. They would probably be low on gas soon if they didn't carefully save the soldier's individual rations. What a tricky situation holding power was.

Back in the infirmary Levi stared out the window. The sun was rising over the towering trees and noon was ticking away. The sky was a dull dun shade thanks to rain closing around the mountains. Maybe the blood could finally be washed from the cracks at the gates with a good, long storm. Though, storms were all that filled Levi's thoughts. The man sighed, closing his eyes as his body was filled with a deep, hollow sensation. He'd signed a hell contract when he said he'd watch over Eren. It was a mistake from the beginning, but at the time he was just sick of the constant murder. Hell, the numbers had escalated so quickly that it was more like genocide. Not another one would be killed under his eyes. He'd seen enough murder and bloodshed that if no one acted he would be forced to. Even so, Eren was still a child back then; confused, scared, and just thankful that someone was willing to give him a chance.

Thinking back, it was rather befitting that he would vouch for Eren's complacency. An image flickered in the man's mind to a court with similar faces arguing the same bullshit. Old men roaring that the child was a menace and others asking the lame to give him a chance at repentance; it was all the same. One young soldier hopped over the lines of onlookers much as he had and gave an appeal to the magistrate. He said that every man under the law is innocent until proven otherwise, no matter what their reputation. That he was no different.

"_And will you personally attend to this boy, Cadet?" _

"_With my life," a young Irwin had said. _

"_And if he is to act out?" _

"_I said with my life, did I not?" _

"Shit…"

Mikasa was staring at Eren intently, Armin talking with him with a sweat building on the back of his neck. How long was she going to glower like that?

"M-Mikasa, aren't you going to blink?" Armin laughed nervously, looking over to her. She didn't flinch. "No?"

"Mikasa," Eren murmured. "It's okay. I'm fine."

"To hell if you're fine. Am I supposed to accept that you're just 'fine' when you were nearly swallowed by that… that," she stammered, fists clenched on her lap as she sat on the bed across from Eren's. "We thought we lost you when we first swore to those wings on the flag… we thought we lost you when control was lost in the closing of the wall… and then no one could back you when this other… _thing_ manifested within you. You're telling me just to accept that you're fine and that's _not_ fine."

There wasn't room to argue with her words. It was perfectly reasonable to be suspicious of the true definition of 'fine' in Eren's words. After all, she had seen every hell and heaven the boy had been dragged through. Though, there had to be some way to convince her that things were going to be okay.

"He's at a truce," Eren muttered. "And if he does fight back… I will win."

The boy looked at Mikasa was steely eyes of affirmation. He nodded once at her and she hid the tears brimming in her eyes. She shook them off and stood, storming out of the room. Armin sighed, rubbing his forehead, groaning.

"Eren, you're so uncouth sometimes," he grumbled.

"What?" Eren blinked.

"You're thick is all," he shook his head.

"I don't follow…"

"My point exactly."

Armin sighed but dropped the topic. Mikasa wouldn't like it if he just told Eren flat out, but he wasn't good at picking up on signals. But what can you do? The blonde sighed and smiled. He was just thankful that Eren was alright. Through the past week he'd seen more blood than he'd witnessed in a month. He couldn't say a long time because then he'd be lying. It came with the job.

"Eren," the blonde sighed.

"Yeah?"

"What's it like?"

"What?"

The boy leaned his head back against the wall and sighed. Up in the rafters dust and ash gathered, cobwebs writing letters to the survivors in their thread, but his thoughts weren't there. Unfiltered, he spoke.

"Being bigger than your fears."

This took Eren by surprise. Armin had always been small for his age, yeah, and he wasn't that strong either, but his mind was brilliant. He never had questions that a book couldn't answer for him. Even if he couldn't find it somewhere he'd figure it out for himself. He wasn't the type ask someone like Eren for answers. It was very out of character for the young blonde.

Nevertheless, Eren knew what he meant. By no means was Eren taller than the solidified quantity of his problems, but he could become something that was. He could become something fearsome, brave, and unstoppable, whereas Armin's shields had only ever been books and good lies. Eren could see the glassy look in Armin's eyes as he stared up at the ceiling, words dying in between the layers of dust caking the wood.

"It's terrible," Eren whispered, pushing himself off the bed and walking towards the door. "Because then everybody thinks just because you're bigger you can handle those fears all on your own."

Slowly Armin looked over to Eren who had his hand pressed against the doorway. He'd never heard something like that before. Eren was the strong one, wasn't he? But that's just it. Everyone had assumed that from the beginning. They took his will… his madness for strength.

"Ere-," Armin began, but his friend was already gone. "Eren…"

Eren wandered aimlessly, ears deaf to the greetings he received. Petra smiled at the boy warmly and happily chirped a, "Good morning," but the moment she focused her eyes on the boy she knew something was troubling him. "E-Eren…" She stammered, but the boy was already stumbling past her. She muttered to herself about it was probably the shock, but everyone who saw him knew that clearly wasn't the case. The boy wore a look of someone drunk on a sensation, dizzy and cloudy like a doll's eyes. He'd managed to find a path where he only ran into one other person, Mike, who cared nothing for greetings.

By the time the boy found an obstacle he was facing an old condemned portion of the castle. It was a large tower that had wide, shallow steps that spiraled upwards. However, the base was so old that the steps had crumbled towards the top and the path went into oblivion. Eren slumped against the wall near the end of the path and pulled his knees close to his chest, arms folded over top.

"_What's it like?" _

"_What?" _

"_Being bigger than your fears." _

Slowly the silence took its toll and there was nowhere else for his focus to escape to.

_I let you take the damn lead and you go and sulk? _

"Fuck you…" Eren hissed, head throbbing as Pilot went back to his constant bickering.

_You got what you wanted so why are you so damn sad? _

Eren didn't answer. He pressed his face into his arms and took in the sound of water dripping somewhere in the distance and the gentle breeze shaking the trees outside the broken tower. He didn't want to do this anymore. This fighting and vengeance was so tiring and now he could even have his own thoughts without this monster popping his opinions between the lines.

_Oi! That's rude. I didn't sign up for this shit! _

"Please… just..."

_What? Shut up? Cognition is a tricky process, kid. What I can tell you is that this thing you're feeling is separation anxiety. _

"Well that makes a whole lot of sense."

_If you'll let me finish, you impatient shit. When your grey-area feelings corporal cut his hand open to pump life back into your shredded heart parts of you fused with him. The same is for him. He's probably in no shape to talk with anyone right now either. Because as far as your bodies are concerned: you're missing pieces of each other. _

"That's rich coming from you. Seems like I've got a couple extra pieces," Eren scoffed, rubbing his forehead. It felt like he was going to pass out and scream out in pain at the same time. The sensation was dizzying.

_That's the impaired focus taking effect. The farther you get away from him the more likely you are to drop all hold on your control. Though… at this point… you'd die. _

"What?"

_What, you think exerting my own consciousness fighting corporal tight ass didn't kick me back a couple 'a points. If I tried to pull a fucking stunt like that again now I'd blow my own bulb! _

"So…"

_So, you halfwit if you don't go get that bit of yourself back humanity's greatest chance at survival might as well go hang himself in the closet with the coats! _

"But wouldn't that be better? You seem to be getting very good at taking the lead," Eren grunted, pressing himself off the wall shakily, his legs numb from holding them so close to him. He ground his teeth at the sensation racing up his leg but he didn't have time to rub the static-like numbness from his limbs.

_No because as you've notice we can't hold the reins on each other for long. If you stay inside my body for too long we merge and chaos is born. If I try piloting your meat suit I overtax myself and risk killing the parasite and the host. _

"So the reason to survive is mutual, then," Eren chortled, body growing heavy with each stumbling step back down the tower. Soon his body was becoming like lead, his head spinning. A cold sweat soaked the back of his neck and the ends of his hair.

_Eren… Eren don't you fucking even think about it! Get up! _

"Fuck you," Eren hissed, vision blurring. "Just… let me sleep for a second."

_EREN! _

"Captain!" Petra gasped, hands pressed on her knees. She always hated running up the tower steps, but from the moment she saw Eren she knew something wasn't right.

"What?" Levi asked. Petra stood upright after a moment to catch her breath.

"Sir, I think we need to find Eren."

Levi was already out of his chair and listening to what the woman had seen when they were racing back down the tower. She'd already looked in his room and down several halls. "I can't find him anywhere."

"Did you check the North quarter?"

"No, but… it's off limits. The construction is too week to support activity anymore," the strawberry blonde shook her head.

"Just fucking like him," Levi scowled, walking against his body's will to slump over and sleep. Just what he needed. Exhaustion when he had to search for someone.

Like an oncoming storm to an elder's bones did Levi creak as he walked. Ever since Eren had woken up he'd been off-kilter and it was becoming increasingly obvious. His vision was escaping him and a cold sweat was running down his back as if he'd been sprinting in the snow.

To avoid more drama after they'd finally gained some sense of peace Levi ordered Petra to check on the staff with Oruo's help. She protested at first but after seeing the hawk-like glower being shot up to her she laughed nervously and turned on her heel. She adored the corporal but sometimes that look was just too much.

Near the Northern quarter boards had been broken down so that someone small could squeeze through. Old nails had rusted away and the wood itself gave when you pressed against it. They should have boarded it back up the day they got here. Then again, it was easy to forget this part of the castle. The memories it held were like old crackled film, blistered from age and neglect. Even so, there wasn't anywhere Eren could be inside that wretched place.

When Levi felt his foot around on the other side of the wooden barricade his stomach lurched. It was wet and thick. His eyes slowly looked down and found a rat shredded, its bones and viscera smeared against the floor. The smell was iron-rich and stomach-turning, but he had to go on. Probably some animal cornered it against the wood.

The wide corridor was dark and parts of the wall were crumbling or completely missing thanks to flora and disrepair. Wooden beams had crashed to the floor and doors were rotted off their hinges. Coming to the end of the hall you could only go up. The old North tower had fame like no other in the private conversations of the higher ranks of the Survey Corps. Hanji walked by the old entrance and heavily sighed, saying a prayer against the wood. You could even find Mike murmuring apologies and laying flowers at the base. Levi couldn't ever bring himself to get near it, but Fate was pulling him back into the nightmares of his mistakes.

Stomach twisting in pain, Levi moved on. His vision was slowly dividing in two, but he trudged on. His headaches were slowly fading the more he forced himself up the stairs, hand pressing into the slimy stones as he climbed.

"Eren… if… you're not up here… so help me," the man growled as his eyes finally worked together to form a clear picture. Of course, just around a bend of stones, Eren was slumped against the wall looking half dead. "Eren!"

"Good guess," the familiarly cynical voice smirked, eyes black where they shouldn't be.

"You!"

"Now, now… you… you should thank me," Pilot laughed, voice reduced to a weak wheeze.

"You said you would give him back!" Levi roared, grabbing the boy by his collar and lifting him up to his face.

"And I did… but… you did something stupid… and now he's dying," the proxy groaned, body shuddering. "When you revived this… little shit, you… refused fused the wounds."

"What?"

"Look at your fucking hand, captain dipshit!" Levi slowly looked at his palm. "You're pale as a goddamn ghost and this kid's got a perpetual tan! Now tell me what your hand looks like right now."

Sure enough the sliver of a scar where he'd cut his hand wasn't the normal scar tissue pink. The skin was darker, but there was barely a hair's thick amount of scarring around it. Pilot smirked, pulling Eren's tunic down so the corporal could see the pale skin cutting through Eren's chest. "You lovesick puppies took parts of each other from each other… If you don't give it back… you both die."

Levi scowled, teeth ground in disgust. This cretin hadn't told the truth twice in his existence so how was he supposed to trust him? "Right, right. You're the queen of skepticism. Fine, that's fair. Check his pulse… check yours… what's new?"

When Pilot saw that the corporal wasn't budging for anything he grabbed Levi's hand and pulled it towards Eren's neck. The man jolted at first, but stilled once the proxy's other hand slid over his own neck. Pilot closed his eyes and concentrated. "Feel that? Symbiosis at its finest… the courts bound you… and now your very lives do," he whispered.

Eyes closed Levi could hear his pulse throbbing in his ears as well as Eren's beating through his hand. They were the same. The corporal opened his eyes in shock, Pilot simply grinning.

"So what will you do, captain shorty?"

"Excuse you?"

"Heh, I see you're still on your toes."

"Then what do we do…?"

"Now you're thinking in twos," Pilot laughed as he leaned close. "What did Prince Charming do to wake Sleeping Beauty?"

The corporal glowered. He was not kissing this snarky, bitchy jack ass in that dark, dirty condemned portion of the castle. No way, no how. "Oh, but yes you will."

In a moment of weakness Levi was pulled forward by his collar. Eren's lips clumsily crushed against Levi's, but that didn't last for long. Pilot expertly moved his mouth so that the two were locking faces. At first Eren's body jumped at the sensation of the corporal's tongue against his, but it soon faded when Pilot took control.

_Wha-what are you doing?! _

_Answering your prayers_.

"Ngh… hehe… good kisser," Pilot whispered. When he looked up at Levi the man had changed entirely. His eyes were sharp and the corporal had gone completely quiet. "Levi…"

In one swift move the corporal smoothed his hand over Eren's face and gripped it tight. He closed his mouth around the boy's once more and fed his tongue back in, his other hand caressing his heated neck. Eren's back arched in shock as the kiss became deeper and deeper. Grunts and groans escaped the two as the corporal pulled against the boy's hair. Pilot gasped, face turning a deep shade of pink. When the man pulled away from him Levi quickly went to work on the boy's neck, sucking so hard that it forced gasps from his mouth.

"Ah! L-Levi… ngh… mmn…"

Pilot found his nails digging into Levi's shoulders as his body reacted to the heated touch of the corporal. His vision was clearer than it had ever been and no longer did his heart flutter as if he were shaking Death's hand. It was pure ecstasy.

"This is what you wanted, isn't it? Now give him back," Levi hissed, biting Eren's ear. The boy bucked, face burning hot.

"Hehe… now?" Pilot snickered, Eren's body going limp.

_He's all yours, Jaeger. _

_W-wait, no! _

Levi pulled back from the boy and saw Eren cupping his hands over his face. His face was red all the way up to the tops of his ears. A small, defeated whimper escaped the boy as he pulled himself inward, shame bubbling inside of him.

"Welcome back to the real world, Jaeger," Levi sighed, grabbing the back of Eren's collar and pulling him upright. "Now we need to get the fuck out of this place before people come looking."

The entire time the two were walking down the stairs Eren's heart was ready to throb out of his chest. He could feel the sticky sensation around his ears and neck where Levi had sank his teeth in. Even if he wasn't piloting his own body he still felt every moment of it. The worst part of it was that Pilot kept teasing him as they walked out of the light and felt along the walls towards the end of the corridor.

_Felt good, right? _

_I should kill myself. _

_Why? _

_SO I COULD KILL YOU! _

_Oh, that's so cruel. You know you wanted it. _

_I hate you! _

_Because you're too embarrassed to pin him down to the bed yourself, you hate _me_? Illogical as you are stupid. _

"You gonna pass out again or can I trust you on your own?" Levi sighed as they neared the faint afternoon light peering through the broken wood of the entrance.

"N-no," Eren murmured. "Ah… Corporal!"

Levi turned back for a fraction of a second before something pulled Eren back into the shadows. Maybe the captain screamed for Eren, but he didn't hear as Pilot violently forced his way back into the forefront of control. "Levi, _run_!" He screamed before the hand around his throat choked the noise from his throat. "R-rr… nn… ack!"

"Eren!"

"You know where to find him," a hissing, reptilian voice whispered, dragging the boy away from the corporal faster than he could run.

"Eren!"

**A/N: Wow, I'm so, so sorry for delaying the upload so long! I had so much to do and then friend drama and ugh! Man, this fic just keeps warping itself into directions I'm not even sure of anymore. I promise that it's coming to a close and YES there is the smut to be found very soon. Or at least within the next 2 chapters. I promise. **


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